


Seed of Life

by Crystal_Grace



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Porn, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Changing Tenses, Come Swallowing, Cunnilingus, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Thoughts, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Healing Sex, Helping Solas with his plans, Magical Healing Cock, Masturbation, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, POV First Person, POV Lavellan, POV Solas, POV Third Person Limited, Porn With Plot, Present Tense, Public Sex, Quickies, Resolved Sexual Tension, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Solas Smut, Solas is Fen'Harel, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Sex, fast burn, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-04-28 23:26:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 69,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14460132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Grace/pseuds/Crystal_Grace
Summary: Eranen Lavellan is sent to spy on the Conclave, we all know the story. What you don't know is that in this version the Anchor does more than control the Veil.Cursed to need Solas' very "seed" to be alive, they are forced to stay together in order to save the world.





	1. Solas Joins the Inquisition

**Author's Note:**

> So... this happened when I saw the "Magical Healing Cock" tag and it reminded me of the manga "Erotic Fairy Tales: The Little Mermaid". After some brainstorming with [Calwyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calwyn/pseuds/Calwyn) and some encouragement on her part I started writing this.  
> The story will be pretty much like the game, with some twists. At some point she'll know who Solas really is and work with him, but other than that it should stay pretty much the same.

 

 

 

One day has passed since the explosion of the Conclave and there was no sign of his Orb. This morning Solas got the message from one of his spies that an elven woman had emerged from the large rift, unconscious and with a glowing hand. _The Anchor. It had to be it._ Right now his swift feet were taking him through one of the snow-carved paths towards the small village; Haven. The place was teeming with injured and soldiers, as well as the ignorant Templars and the foolish mages. Solas hoped he wouldn't have to stay long, that the Anchor would transfer to him easily so he could move on with his plans. As much as the people from the current world were but a shadow, their sacrifice at the Temple was still something heavy on his conscience; it couldn't be in vain. Innocent lives were still innocent lives no matter how shallow their spirits were.

Solas arrived at the village and as soon as the Templars took notice he surrendered his staff, telling him he wanted to help. The armored men didn't seem to believe him, and the tension between their Order and mages were growing worse by the hour, but he knew they had orders not to attack without provocation. And Solas would not provide any provocation, he had a goal to achieve. Playing humble, he managed to get a word to their Commander, a blonde and large human man named Cullen Rutherford. He would remember the name should he need to. After explaining, calmly and respectfully, that he could help with the Breach because of his knowledge of the Fade and the Veil, knowing exactly which words to throw so the man would have some hope with his presence, the elven apostate was 'guided' towards the Chantry, where the Hands of the Divine were currently discussing the mysterious prisoner.

The building was a sad sight, with children crying because their loved ones had disappeared after the explosion. It wasn't either a sight nor sound he wished to witness, knowing all too well what kind of suffering his actions would have caused. No child should grow up alone, but he had a duty to his people, he would fix the world and restore the elves to what they should be, connecting them to what they should have never been severed from. The sound of someone clearing their throat brings him from his thoughts. The soldier who accompanied him to the Chantry tells him that they should go downstairs to the dungeons. He nods and moves after the man, thankful that he won't have to talk to the Hands in that depressing hall.

There isn't much to expect of a dungeon, considering their sole purpose is to hold people inside and rarely are equipped for comfort, but he seemed to have expected better from these people when he looked at the unconscious woman in front of him. She was unconscious but her face still showed clear signs of pain; yet she was thrown on the cold, dirty stone floor and chained. He didn't have time to properly look at the woman before the one he was previously warned about by his spies turned to talk to him. Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast was everything he had heard, and he wasn't very impressed. She had clearly not slept recently, fatigue heavy on her words and as much as he could see she was trying to hide, also on her stance. She introduced herself and the Left Hand, Leliana, currently standing a few steps from the unconscious elf; a sly human if what he heard from his spies is correct.

After several minutes answering questions, he is finally allowed to see the prisoner. He approaches calmly even though he is anxious about the Anchor in the elf's hand. He can feel the power humming, searching for him, and should this work he will be so close to his objective that his heartbeat is accelerating. His eyes examine the woman on the floor: wavy long and white hair, stained by what seems to be blood, tan bronze skin and lean figure. She is laying on her side and he can see much blood on her clothes, he wonders at the extent of her injuries. Guilah'nain's vallaslin on her face marks her as Dalish. _Another misguided soul._ Leliana doesn't move away, standing at the prisoner's feet and watching his actions. He doesn't worry, should it be necessary he could dispose of them; he is weakened but still stronger than they are. Squatting down beside the unconscious woman, he runs his magic through her body; she is definitely weak and might not survive this. He turns her so she is on her back and tries to be careful while taking her hand in his; as much as he wants to be quick and be done with it, in the odd chance that this doesn't work he would need the Hands to work with him, and he has to be a careful man for them to do so.

He casts the spell that should transfer the Anchor to him, and it doesn't work. _It is fine, it was expected._ He casts a ward to isolate the Anchor from the woman's energy, and it doesn't work. He takes a deep breath, starting to worry. He tries a more elaborate spell, pulling on the strings of the Anchor, like a weave, attempting to separate it from the woman, and the only result he gets from it is a pained whine from her mouth. _Damn this._ The Anchor is tied to her, removing it would kill her, and he isn't sure that he could still transfer the Anchor should she die. _For now it is safer to keep her alive._ Not being able to tell the women what he was doing, he attempts to heal the elf so he can say it was all part of the process of getting her conscious again. What he didn't expect is for her to be unaffected by the healing. With a frown he tries every spell he knows, from the slowest to the quickest and more powerful ones; none work. The casting of so many spells leaves him tired, and he doesn't know what could be wrong with the prisoner.

Having no other choice, he explains to the Hands that the woman is immune to healing and is dangerously close to death. They are desperate women, with their world torn open, and are easy to lay blame. The Seeker accuses him of duplicity and threatens him should he not find a way to fix the problem of the Breach, since he claimed to know about the Fade and the Veil. He tells them, patiently, that he will need to research, and assures them that he has no intention of letting the prisoner die because he suspects the mark on her hand is the key to closing the hole in the sky.

Cassandra doesn't like not having a clear path ahead of her, and with everything that happened in the past days her temper is just the worst. Leliana seems to have a calmer mind, and tries to talk her associate into waiting for progress. In the end he is allowed to research, but forbidden of leaving the village. Solas doesn't mind, what he needs is right beside him, if only he can find a way to transfer it to himself. His spies could get things moving where he can't go, this won't be a problem.

Allowed to meditate beside the prisoner, the women leave him to his actions, with a guard outside the gate. It's not long before his breathing is even and his mind reaches the Fade. Solas searches for spirits who could guide him on this task, and thankfully he finds one of his most treasured friends: Wisdom. She's an old spirit, and as such has her own shape: a beautiful and delicate elven woman. She seems distressed, but her small smile shows she's thankful to see him.

"It is good I found you, my friend." The spirit says a bit rushed. Solas wonders what could be making her so uneasy. "I am leaving this area, along with a few others. The rupture in the Veil is causing too much distress and spirits are being dragged through, in confusion and despair they change their purpose." The elf sighs.

"I understand, my friend. And I am sorry. This shouldn't have happened this way. I know you must go soon but I need your advice: the Anchor is lost on a quickling elven woman, who I cannot heal. I have tried every spell I could cast and none worked."

"Have you forgotten?" She asks with a tone that implies he should know something obvious. He frowns and she continues. "Your safeguard." _Oh, fuck me._

He remembers now: when he created the Anchor and attached it to the Foci he also created a safeguard should it fall into wrong hands. The person with the Anchor would _need_ him to be alive, so his enemy would rather die than to submit to it. And now the unknown woman has it.

"Thank you, Wisdom. I know what I must do, even though I am not looking forward to it. Be safe." And after the spirit greets him back, he wakes up to face the stranger beside him. _This will be awkward_.

The quickling is a beautiful woman, in other circumstances he could have enjoyed this, but too many things involved in this situation completely puts him off it. One of them being the guard outside. His quick meditation allowed him to recover some energy, so he should be able to put the guard to sleep temporarily. As he prepares himself to cast, however, the Breach expands and with it the mark on the woman's hand flares, making her scream in pain even though she's still unconscious. _This is bad, I need to be quick_. The guard is alarmed by the event and is about to move, probably to call for the Hands, when Solas casts his spell, dazing the man on the spot. He doesn't have much time, so he quickly kneels beside the elf and fishes himself inside his pants. Chastising himself for what he is about to do, he starts stroking his member as his other hand lifts the woman's shirt to reveal her stomach. _This should be sufficient_.

It has been a long time since he has done anything like this, so he is more than sensitive, yet the fact he is in a rush and doing something he loathes makes it hard for him to reach his climax. He can't be caught by the guard, it would be impossible to explain. Trying to clear his mind of everything that gets in the way he finally manages it, spilling his seed on the woman's flat stomach. Tucking himself back inside his pants, he can see some open and deep cuts on her flesh, and hopes that this safeguard starts acting fast. It doesn't, however. About two minutes later and there seems to be no improvement of her condition, so he tries something else: he collects some of his seed with his finger and brushes it on the inside of her lips. Instantly her body glows and he sighs in relief. Repeating the shameful act until her belly is clean, he hears the guard coming back to consciousness and he quickly lowers the woman's shirt again. Her wounds are mostly healed, and her vital signs seem to be more stable; she will probably wake up soon.

The guard looks back inside the cell to find Solas still kneeling beside the woman and rushes quickly to the bars, asking what had happened. The apostate slowly stands up and turns to face the man, telling him he found a way to heal the prisoner and that she should be fine for now. "What you felt was the Breach expanding, and the mark on her hand reacted to it. Call the Hands, we need to act quickly." And with that the guard frowns, but then turns and rushes away. Solas has to wait now, and hopes that the woman is able to close the Breach so he can move on with his plans.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20.07.2018 - I just created an e-mail in case you liked the story and want to chat :)  
> crystal.grace.fics@gmail.com


	2. Closing the Rift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prisoner wakes up and after some fights she closes the rift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter :)  
> This is the prisoner's pov.  
> No smut this time.

I feel the pain around my body before I even open my eyes. I'm sore everywhere, but the worst is my hand. The cold floor under me is pushing against my flesh and I try to sit up. As I open my eyes I take in my surroundings: dark and damp cell, mold everywhere and dry blood around me. My mouth is dry and as I try to wet my lips I taste something I can't quite name. With a deep breath to try and remember how I got here I inhale the stench of the room; I'm Dalish not an animal, this is not some place I would be comfortable in. Damn shems... what do they think I did? A noise starts me and my eyes take a while to focus on the woman approaching. When she's close enough I recognize her: Seeker Pentaghast. Having spent the last week avoiding the Hands, I hate being in front of her in such circumstances.

She enters the cell and immediately barks at me "Give me a reason not to kill you now." Excuse me? I don't even remember why I'm here. She continues. "Everyone who attended the Conclave is dead, everyone but you!" What? What happened?

"What do you mean everyone is dead? What happened?" That seems to affect her a little, but she comes at me, holding my hand firmly, almost painfully.

"Explain this!" I take a look at my hand then, trying to understand what she means, and I see the green glow. That wasn't there before.

"I don't know what that is!" And now she is definitely taken aback, but the light then flares and I feel such strong pain spreading up my arm from the palm of my hand that I can't hold back the scream.

"You're lying!" And it seems she was about to hit me when another woman comes from behind her. The Nightingale. She places a hand on the Seeker's shoulder and calmly says:

"We need her, Cassandra." With that the Seeker starts pacing while the Nightingale approaches me. "Do you remember what happened? How you got here?" What do I remember? Alright let's think...

"I remember... running... something was chasing me... then I saw... a woman?" The expression on the woman's face changes and then the Seeker approaches, telling Leliana to go to the forward camp. "What happened?"

"It'll be easier to show you." And as the Nightingale leaves the cell, the Seeker frees me from my chains, only to tie me with ropes afterwards.

The way out of the dungeons is a bit painful, my body is weak for some reason, but when we make it outside the Chantry I forget everything as the sight of the massive green whirlpool in the sky hits me. "What _is_ that?"

"We call it the Breach. It's a massive rift into the world of demons. It's not the only one, but it's the largest. It was caused by the explosion at the Conclave." The words are hard to sink in, I never thought I would see something like this. I've heard the Keeper explaining about places where the Veil would be thin, but this is another thing entirely. And I survived that?

"How?" Is everything I manage to say.

"We don't know yet. But we have reason to believe the mark on your hand could close it."

"Well, then let's get going." She seems surprised by my answer. What? Only because I'm Dalish you think I'm gonna let that destroy the world, shem?

"You are willing to help?"

"Of course. Let's go." And as I start to move there is a surge of power coming from the Breach and the pain in my arm is simply worse than before. I fall on my knees.

"Every time the Breach expands your mark spreads, and it is killing you." Oh, great.

"Well, another reason to move." I speak as she helps me up.

 

The people in the village seem to hate me, and I got no idea why they feel that way. That is, until the Seeker tells me they believe I caused the explosion and killed their Divine. Damn them, I came here to see what was happening, not to kill anybody. And even if I had, I wouldn't have caused _that_. I'm a swift assassin, not destroyer of worlds. And I definitely wouldn't let demons loose.

When we leave the village she releases me from the rope and we move through a path of destruction; broken carts, scattered supplies, people carrying bodies; the place is an awful mess. Despite the look of things we don't come across any threats until we reach a bridge, which breaks when hit by a meteor and we fall on the frozen river below. As I try to get up I see the demons coming our way, I reach for my blades instinctively but they aren't with me. Damn this. I look around, trying to find anything to kill the dreadful creature, and my eyes fall on a dead soldier. I run towards the body, almost slipping on the ice, and I'm relieved to find a pair of daggers. They are in terrible condition, but it's better than to fight with my fists. It's not hard to kill the demon, and I sneak upon another that was going to hit the Seeker on her back. The creature dies with a wail before disappearing in a puddle of goo and the woman, despite just being saved, doesn't look happy. She orders me to surrender the weapons, and I tell her the obvious "If we're going to keep fighting demons then it's better I have weapons."

She sighs, clearly not liking what I said, but she agrees. "You're right. I cannot defend us both, and I should remember you came willingly." Yeah, shem, I did.

We continue on our way, fighting the occasional demons, until my hand flares as we approach a green light. She tells me that is one of many small rifts, and that we're going to try the mark on it. Running ahead to help the people fighting the demons, she orders me to follow. I do, and I'm surprised to see a dwarf kill the creatures so easily with a massive crossbow. If I can even call it a crossbow. I join the fight, sneaking up on my targets as is my usual tactic, and soon we're clear. A hand suddenly grabs my wrist and points it towards the light. "Quickly! Before more come through!" I feel a weird energy on my hand, then the light on my palm connects somehow with the rift in front of me, and as I feel my energy draining, the green wound on the air pops and closes. What _was_ that?

"What did you do?" I end up asking, finally taking in the man in front of me. He is a bald elf, taller than the ones I've met, and something about him rubs me the wrong way. I don't think I can trust this flat ear. Well, I don't think I can trust anybody in this mess. If only I could get this over with and return to the clan soon.

" **I** did nothing." The elf says with a soft smile that seems all too forced. "The credit is yours." What? Mine? I didn't do anything. Oh, the mark.

"You mean this?" I show him my hand and he gives me a slight nod.

"Whatever magic opened the Breach also placed the mark upon your hand. I theorized you could close the rifts, and it seems I was correct." Such pomposity.

"Meaning it can also close the Breach?" The Seeker asks, approaching us.

"Great! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever!" The dwarf approaches from my left and I look at his weapon. That thing is huge. "Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller and occasionally unwelcome tag-along."

"Nice weapon you got there, Varric." I say and he smiles.

"Bianca is one of her kind. So, what's your name Silver?"

"Silver?"

"Well, never seen that shade of hair before." He shrugs.

"I'm Eranen of clan Lavellan." I notice he is about to say something, but the elf interrupts him.

"My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I'm pleased to see you still live." Man.. why talk like that? Where did he come from? A library?

"He means 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'" Varric says with a smirk.

"Oh, thank you." Maybe he's not that bad after all.

"Thank me if we manage to close the rift without killing you." Well.. maybe he _is_ that bad.

"Come on, let's move." Cassandra says as she walks down a broken wooden gate. I follow. I just want to get this over with and get the hell out of here.

 

We kill more demons on the way; there seems to be more of them as we get closer to our destination. I'm extremely surprised when the flat-ear throws himself between me and a shade's claw. I notice he had a barrier on, but still, why would he _do_ that? It's not long before he starts questioning me. Guess he can't be nice without being annoying. "You are Dalish, and quite far from your clan. Did they send you here?"

"What do you know of the Dalish?" I wonder what a flat-ear would be doing among my people.

"I have wandered many roads in my time, I've crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion." I frown, something in his tone seems annoyed.

"What do you mean by 'crossed paths?'"

"I mean that I've offered to share knowledge, but only to be attacked for no greater reason than their superstition." Superstition? What could he mean by that?

I was going to question him in return but the dwarf interrupts me.

"Can't you elves just play nice for once?" I sigh and I notice the elf does too.

As we continue on the way the Breach expands once again, but this time, instead of the Seeker helping me up, it's the mage who does. I feel his magic doing something on my hand and then he speaks "My magic cannot stop the mark from spreading further, we should hurry." I wonder how he can control this unknown thing. I heard him telling the Seeker that he doesn't think any mage could control such power, but _he_ can. I should keep my eyes open around this man.

 

We get to the forward camp and I see the Nightingale arguing with Haven's Chancellor. Another person I worked so hard to avoid. Fate doesn't like me it seems. We approach and the man orders me to be taken to Val Royeaux. Is he insane? There is a hole in the sky spitting demons, I have the only thing that can close it in my hand and he wants me sent away? Maybe _he_ is behind this. I don't need to voice my distrust though, the Hands engage in an argument that seems endless until the Breach expands again and the mark flares once more. Thankfully it doesn't make me go to my knees this time. It catches everybody's attention though, and now they want me to decide which way to take to go the rift. Charge with soldiers, where is assumed to be safer, or through the mountain path where a scout's party has been lost but is the closest. I don't feel like spending any more time than necessary in this place, so the shortest way it is. And maybe if the scouts are lucky and still alive we can help them against whatever held them back. The Chancellor isn't happy about it, but nobody seems to care about what he approves of or not.

 

The way up the mountain is dangerous, and I see Varric and the Seeker are far from used to walking this sort of terrain. If anyone falls I'm sure they'd be quite dead. It's not long before we reach a mining complex or something like it, Cassandra says the tunnels are old and that the mountain is filled with them. I'm not surprised to see demons in there, but I **am** surprised to find so much supplies abandoned to rot. These shems really don't value what they got. I take whatever can be used and the others don't mention it, which is good because I really don't want to engage in conversation. I'm **not** leaving good supplies behind. When we finally reach the other side of the mountain I spot some people's bodies, and they seem to be the scouts that have been sent to investigate the area. The Seeker, however, doesn't believe that's the entire party. I wouldn't keep my hopes up, but would be nice to save someone for a change. There is just so much death everywhere. Shem or not, a life is a life.

We spot another rift not very far, and fighting the demons under it are some people dressed in that same uniform. The rest of the scouts. We rush forward to help them, but I'm no warrior so I take a path to sneak behind the enemies. It would have been a quick fight, but the scouts are injured and I'm afraid they won't survive should they get any more hurt. Solas tells me to use the mark to 'disrupt' the rift. I got no idea what he means by it, but I point my hand to the rift all the same, hoping it would do something against the demons. I'm surprised to see that a shockwave comes from the rift and hits the demons, stunning some and completely destroying others. It's a quick job to clean the remaining shades then. While I close the rift, Cassandra goes ahead to talk to the leader of the scouts, and tells them they should thank me for I was the one that chose to take this route. Well, if they want to thank me, then sure. "I'm just glad we were able to save you." Is all I say before I start walking towards the hole in the sky, that is not so far away anymore.

 

I can see the Breach very close when Varric decides it's his turn to question me about my innocence. Of course I doubt I did something to cause this mess, but the truth is that I don't remember, and I tell him so. He clearly disapproves of my action, telling me I should've spun a story, because claiming memory loss would never work. Well, I was too confused to think of anything back then. It's too late to think of a story now.

We finally reach the Temple's ruins and the sight is monstrous: charred bodies everywhere, body parts scattered around. The Right Hand tells me this is where I stepped out of the rift; I got no memory of it. The Nightingale arrives just as we're entering the large crater where the massive rift is. That thing is just huge. There is no way I can close it, but I'm definitely trying. I notice the elf is looking at me with a weird expression, and I must say he really gives me the creeps. It's like he is analyzing me, measuring me; what could be the reason? The Seeker approaches after her short talk to Leliana about tactics and she asks if I'm ready to close the rift. How can I even be ready for this? "I hope it works." And Solas assures us it should work, because it was the first rift. I still wonder how he can be so sure of all of this.

Following Cassandra down the path that leads to the rift, we find many red glowing stones, and Varric says that is red lyrium. I wonder what's the difference from the normal lyrium. I was approaching to take a closer look when the dwarf startles me with a shout telling me **not** to touch the red stones. Well, whatever. He says it's evil, I think it won't really change my life, but that rift will, so I start following the Seeker down the crater. Suddenly there is a male voice echoing, a really intimidating voice if I'm being honest. It says something about victory and sacrifice, then there is a woman's voice when we're finally at the bottom. The Seeker says it's the Divine's voice, I got no idea. When I think that's going to be all, a vision plays in the middle of the green mass: an old woman is floating in the air, held by some weird energy and close to her is a shadow of a really tall man with glowing red eyes. And then I appear; was I really there? The mysterious man tells whoever is there to kill me, then the vision fades. That is _so_ weird.

The Seeker is excited about what she just saw, and apparently forgot that I've been telling them that **I don't remember what happened**. They are such annoying people with this insistence! I want to go home and report on this mess and be done with it. I swear I don't want to deal with shems ever again. The Keeper can send me to guard ruins for all I care, this is a nightmare. Solas explains the vision was the Fade showing us the memory of what happened, and then tells us that in order to close the rift permanently I would have to unlock it or something. It seems to be dormant for some reason. Well, considering the amount of demons that come out of the small ones it's great that this huge one is dormant. He also tells us that it's very likely a demon will come out when I activate the rift, so everyone has to be prepared.

After everybody is ready I point my hand towards the light and whatever it is that the mark does, it does it and the rift activates, breaking that weird gem-like appearance and becoming the flame-like thing when it's open and spitting demons. And spitting demons it is. A huge Pride demon to be more exact. I've never fought a Pride before, the Keeper has told us about how powerful it can be, and I admit I'm a bit afraid. I don't want to die. The flat-ear keeps a barrier on me at all times, and I take the opportunity that the demon is focused on the Seeker to attack at the vulnerable points I can see. There aren't many, and they are hard to reach, but every odd attack I manage to hit them. Unfortunately the rift isn't satisfied with only one demon, and throws some shades at us. I repeat that trick Solas told me about, and disrupt the rift to dispatch the weaker demons. This battle is long, be Pride is too strong, and I'm _really_ tired now. I wonder if I'll be able to close this damn thing or if I'm going to fall on my knees from exhaustion before it happens. How can this creature stand so many injuries? I can't even imagine the amount of pain it must be feeling _if_ it feels pain. There are several plates and scales ripped off by my blades, many bolts stuck to it's soft parts and many gashes from the Seeker's attacks, no to mention the burn marks from Solas' spells. It takes us a few more minutes before the hulking creature finally dies and I take a moment to breathe before I point my hand to the rift, praying to the Creators that they allow me to close this thing. And they answer me, because I manage to watch it pop closed before my eyes shut as I hit the ground.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't go with just one screenshot, she's so different from any other character I've done so far that I just had to share a lot. I hope you like her :)


	3. Herald of Andraste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herald of Andraste, agent of the Inquisition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I'm happy to say I survived a really dreadful week of the worst symptoms I've ever felt! Chikungunya is an evil disease, be careful around mosquitoes everyone!  
> I hope you like the chapter, I wanted to make it longer but my partner in crime said short was good, so here you go! Probably more coming soon.  
> Oh and, this might sound obvious but for some time smut will only be happening whenever the Herald needs healing so.. it might take a while.. or not.. we'll see xD

Solas is observing the woman in front of him: her hand pointed towards the Breach, her entire body trembling with the power it cannot hold. _She's weak, of course she is, how could she not be?_ But everything depends on this weak woman, and he **hopes**. The moment the connection is interrupted between the Anchor in her hand and the Breach in the sky he finds himself not breathing. The Breach is still there. It is dormant for now, but there nonetheless. _The threat remains_. Worried cries take him off his thoughts and he realizes it's the Seeker and a few other people who are trying to get to the now unconscious woman. _Again_. He can't blame her, though, the amount of power she had to deal with in a weakened state is astounding, if she had managed it without passing out he would have been surprised. He only hopes she's not dying again.

Kneeling beside her, he runs his magic through her body to find out what's wrong. As expected, and to his relief, it is only a matter of exhaustion. "She needs rest, the mark is stable, she will be able to try again with more power." He quickly says to calm down the warrior in front of him. Seeker of Truth she may be, but patience is something she lacks that she really needs.

"Let's take her back to Haven." Cassandra finally says and orders one of the uninjured soldiers to carry the woman. "Is the Breach stable, Solas?" She asks while motioning for him to follow her. He does.

"For now. The rift the woman has closed had been disrupting it; without it, the Breach, while still a threat, should no longer grow."

"And you say that with more power it should be permanently sealed?"

"In theory yes. Most likely the same amount of power required to open it in the first place."

"That amount of power is not easy to come by."

"It is not. However, a group of powerful mages should be able to donate enough energy to accomplish this."

"That sounds dangerous."

"It is. But necessary to achieve this."

"Would she be able to handle such power?" At that the elf looks at the woman being carried not far from him. _Would she?_

"It is difficult to say, although she is our only option. The mark in her hand requires the power in order to close the Breach, perhaps when she is in better condition she will be capable of controlling it."

"Unfortunately the mages have scattered to the wind, we will need to find them first."

 

The rest of the way Solas spends observing the unconscious woman and drifting into thoughts. If she dies in the next attempt, unable to control the power, everything will be doomed. _Were she a mage would it be easier?_ _It is pointless to wonder._ It annoys him that he is powerless around his own tool. If the Anchor was in his hand it could all be fixed in an instant. As weak as he may be, he could still venture inside the Fade and safely bring the Veil down, even without the Orb. His people would be free. _This is also pointless to worry about, the Anchor is lost to the woman_. He needs to find his Orb.

When they arrive at the village there is a large group of people waiting for them, waiting for news of what happened. It isn't easy, but they make it through the crowd into the Chantry. Cassandra sends the marked woman to be cared for in a tent and orders someone to fetch the apothecary. Solas expects her to send him after the woman, but instead she "asks" him to join them in the Chantry. Soon after entering the building they are met by the Chancellor, who is still mad about all that has happened, and just as unwilling to see the threat of the Breach as a priority.

Solas follows the Seeker into the War Room after the Commander and the Spymaster, and after they sit down they ask him to do the same. As expected, they ask him to explain more about the Breach, its relation to the mark on the woman's hand and how more power is essential on closing it once and for all. They stay in there for almost one hour, and when the apostate finally leaves the Chantry they still continue on with their meeting. Now Solas needs to wait for the woman to be able to close the Breach, and meanwhile he'll try to find signs of his Orb. He heads to the cabin appointed to him for as long as he stays with the Inquisition.

 

*****

 

I wake up in a warm and soft bed. I got to admit I wasn't really expecting to wake up after what happened, but waking up to this is definitely something that wouldn't have crossed my mind. I mean, first they put me in the dungeon, now here? At least I don't feel any pain, but my hand sure feels different. I guess it won't ever feel the same again. I wonder if I closed the Breach, if I can finally return to my clan. As I stretch I hear someone entering the room; I'm not surprised to see an elven servant. Flat ears who let the shems lead them on a leash, treating them as shit. They should be proud, not act like this one. This one girl in front of me sure rubs me the wrong way behaving as if I might strike her down at any second. The more she apologizes the worst she makes my mood. "Why are you scared?" Is all I manage to say, but the girl gets worse and blabs things about blessings and forgiveness. Has she hit her head? I scratch my forehead in annoyance as she quickly says something about how I should go meet the Seeker at the Chantry _at once_ and rushes outside. If they didn't even know I was awake how can they be urging me there _at once_? Pff, they can wait until I'm ready.

After finishing my stretching routine I check the box the servant left behind, finding a lotion. I wonder if she was the one who changed my clothes. I place the lotion on the vanity and check on my appearance, which thankfully hasn't changed; I guess only my hand is different after all. The girl said something about people talking for three days, have I really been unconscious that long? I take the chance to look around the cabin and find a loaf of bread on the table nearby, along with water and a jar of honey. Well, whoever was having this while I was out sure won't mind. I drink some water and then pour some of the honey on the bread so I can eat slowly as I continue to look around the place. There isn't much to interest me, unfortunately. Even the books are mostly about the Chantry, and the ones that aren't seem to be silly enough to only be interesting to nobles. I find my armor on a chair, and I'm surprised to see it has been repaired. Along with it is a pair of new daggers, one of them is incredibly beautiful and sharp. Is this thanks for closing the rift?

When I make my way outside I don't really know what I was expecting to see, but a bunch of shems whispering and cheering words about The Herald of Andraste is definitely not it. First they want me dead, now they worship me? These people are crazy. At least they don't mob around me, keeping their distance so I can get to the Chantry and see what the hell is going on. As I take a turn on a street the Breach comes into view. Shit, I didn't close it. It seems I won't be returning home any time soon.

As I step into the Chantry one of the sisters come up to me and tell me to head to the War Room as if I'm supposed to know where that is. When I tell her I don't know where said room is she takes me there, and I have to say she is another crazy woman if the way she acts around me is anything to go by. Do they really think I'm Herald of their beloved Andraste? Could they be _that_ insane? I'm **Dalish**!

The War Room isn't hard to find so I don't have to walk beside the insane woman for long, but I'm a bit uneasy about going inside. I can hear the Seeker and that awful Chancellor arguing; the man seems to want me dead still, and the Seeker is defending me. This is already trying. I don't bother knocking, I doubt they would listen to it the way they're shouting in there. I enter and find both Hands there along with the Chancellor, who looks at me as if I had spit on his face. Wish I had, he sure deserves it with that annoying behavior of his. The world is ending and he wants to kill me, _me_! The only person who can close that hole! It's not surprising when he orders guards to arrest me. The men don't even have a chance to do anything before the Seeker orders them to disregard his order and leave the room. There's clearly a power conflict in here.

As they argue about who has the power to decide over what happens to me I begin to wonder why they are talking about this now. I mean, they sure had time to decide this before, hadn't they? I appreciate it if they wanted me present to decide on it but what about the hole, man? No matter what I tell this man he just won't listen. Even the Spymaster is defending me, and that actually shocks me. Well, I guess that echo from the Fade in the Temple was very useful in my defense. And then the Seeker opens a small chest and pulls a book from inside it, causing a loud "thum" when she places it on the table. Whatever it is has made the man _very_ mad. "Do you know what this is, Chancellor? The Writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment I declare the Inquisition reborn!" Inquisition? "We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible and we will restore order with or without your approval!" No wonder she's the Right Hand, that woman is firm!

The man doesn't even say anything, but he sure looks like he is going to implode. He storms out of the room and Leliana just begins speaking as if nothing happened. She tells me that the Inquisition is set to restore order, but has no allies, no forces, and now not even Chantry support. It's funny, and I almost laugh, that the organization created by the leader of the Chantry is denounced by the very Chantry. How should this even work? They clearly want my help, and of course they would since I'm the only one that can see that one of their goals is achieved. I only hope that they remember it was a **Dalish elf** who helped when their beloved Chantry didn't. I'm not keeping my hopes up, though. Shems are predictable and they never treat elves nicely for long.

"I'll help." I finally say after they explain the previous Inquisition and how this one should only work towards restoring order. Somehow they seem to have been unsure I would agree to help. Considering how one of their own refuses to act it shouldn't really surprise me that they would doubt an outsider would join them. "What should I do? Can I go back to the old Temple and try closing it again?"

"No," Cassandra says, "Solas says the mark needs more power. The same amount of power required to open the Breach in the first place." I can't help being surprised.

"That sounds... dangerous." The whole mountain is leveled, how can they find that amount of power again? And how the hell am I supposed to control it? "I'm not a mage, how can I even control that much power?"

"It is dangerous. That much power always is. We could use the help of the mages, combine their power in order to feed the mark in your hand."

"Cullen believes Templars could suppress the power of the Breach enough for you to close it." Leliana says and Cassandra sighs, I'm confused.

"That sounds like a bet we can't afford to lose." The Seeker adds. "In any case, we do not have access to neither of them, and we might require time to contact them. You are free to do as you will in Haven; the cabin in which you woke up is yours for as long as you stay in the Inquisition, and whatever you need can be provided through requisitions. Our resources at the moment is limited but we should be able to provide the basics. The tavern has food for free but drinks should be paid for."

"We will contact you if we need you for anything." Leliana adds and suddenly I feel _very_ unwelcome in the room. These people are so weird. I thank them for their hospitality and make my way out, still unsure of what I'm going to do.

 


	4. If Boredom Could Kill...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen is bored, so she starts training with the soldiers. Later that day, a harmless scratch turns into something much more troublesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope you like this chapter! :D  
> Thank you for kudos and comments! <3

What should I do now? Is what I ask myself as I make my way out of the Chantry. I have things in the cabin so I don't need to worry about requisitions, I'm not really hungry and I'm bored beyond my soul. I guess I could train with the soldiers? I think they were outside the gates...

Making my way through the streets often I notice people staring at me, and to say that it's uncomfortable is an understatement. I really don't understand how they can really believe I'm blessed by Andraste, a _shem_ god. Or was she only the bride of their god? Well, whatever she was, she wouldn't bless a Dalish. I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this mark on my hand that doesn't involve the 'Maker' and his woman. Another thing that often catches my eyes is the way the elves scurry away like rats, this is awful. Damn shems.

I see the training area as soon as I make it outside the large gate, and it's full of people around clashing swords and shields. I recognize a large man in flurry cloak as the Commander. Maybe I should ask him if I'm allowed to train here? I notice he is busy talking to a messenger, so I wait until he's done for me to approach. He seems tired. "Good morning, Commander." I greet him and he looks at me confused for a second, then seems to recognize me.

"Herald. Oh, forgive me, Eranen Lavellan, was it?" I nod. "I suppose you know people have been calling you the Herald of Andraste."

"I do, and to be honest I don't see how that's even remotely possible." He chuckles.

"The Chantry agrees with you." He looks around at the people training and continues. "Have you talked to Cassandra yet?"

"Yes. I agreed to join the Inquisition and the Chancellor is quite mad." He snickers and shakes his head.

"I imagine he is. It's curious the priority some people have in their lives. There is a hole in sky that was spitting down demons until _you_ stopped it and he wants to arrest you. I swear I don't understand the Chantry sometimes."

"But aren't you a Templar?"

"Former Knight-Captain. I'm not a Templar anymore." He sighs.

"I didn't know Templars could quit." He shifts in place, I take it this is uncomfortable for him.

"It's not something they would normally do." He clears his throat. "Anyway, is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, actually. I was wondering if I could train with your recruits since Cassandra doesn't have any use for me at the moment and I'm bored out of my mind." He looks at me with a funny face.

"Well, we received a number of recruits, locals from Haven and some pilgrims, none made quite the entrance you did. I'm sure fighting alongside the Herald would put some more energy in their bones." Now I snicker.

"Heh, yeah I bet."

"I notice you are a rogue, however, shouldn't you train with them?"

"More specifically I'm an assassin, I could use the face to face training."

"Smart woman, it's always good to be prepared for when things don't follow the plan."

"Yeah, exactly."

"Well, feel free to join them. Start there," he points to a group at the farthest side of the training area, "after you beat everybody the Lieutenant will let you train with more skilled people."

"Sounds good to me." I take my hands to my daggers on my back but I realize I probably shouldn't use them to fight beginners. "Thank you for your time, Commander. See you later."

"Have fun, Herald." I shake my head at the title but get on my way.

 

I make my way among the many training sections and approach the Lieutenant, who looks at me as a person would a bug. I raise my eyebrow at him and he asks me in a monotone voice "Are you another recruit?"

"According to the Commander I'm a recruit who made quite the entrance."

"Oh, the Herald!" He straightens his back and coughs. I sigh. What is with these people? What 'treat the elf poorly until you realize she's sent by the Maker?' kind of behavior is that? "Are you here to train, Your Worship?" _Really?_ Well, if you want to act lesser be my guest. Stupid shem.

"Yes. The Commander told me to start here, and I suppose I should get some wooden daggers?"

"The recruits will be very encouraged to train besides their Herald." He says while walking towards a chest nearby. Yeah, yeah, give me the daggers, man. "Here." He gives me a pair of chipped wooden daggers and I leave mine in his care. He takes them from me as if they were the most precious things he has ever seen. "Let's see who you can start against." And he selects a skinny boy who is probably still on his teens to approach and face me. The boy is cocky, though. It'll be my pleasure to introduce him to the floor.

As predicted, it's not long before I throw the cocky kid on the floor, he is annoyed to lose so fast and he doesn't seem to care about my Holiness at all, which is good actually. After the third journey to the ground the Lieutenant tells the kid to go sit down and observe. Next I fight a woman, she seems to be quite clumsy with the shield and I take advantage of it. I have to say, after the fifth opponent I'm getting bored again, and there are still ten more in this section. I make quick work of them, because I want to move to the next section; I know they won't be a challenge but at least they should be more interesting to fight.

The Lieutenant calls the fight off and points me to the next section, which I find out still needs wooden weapons. Well, this still might be better, think positive. It's _not_ much better but there are more cocky people here for me to throw on the ground at least. The sun is high on the sky by the time I'm done with the twelve opponents and I trade the weapons with the Lieutenant, who tells me I can head straight for the third section when I return. I take a look at them and notice they are using real weapons at least. That will be more exciting. Now I need to clean up and eat, so I make my way to the cabin, and next to the tavern.

 

The tavern doesn't have many people despite the hour. Maybe they are still busy elsewhere? I go to the woman tending the place and ask for whatever she's serving the Inquisition. She tells me her name is Flissa, and that she's honored to finally meet the Herald of Andraste. I guess I'll have to get used to this damn title. She gives me a bowl of stew with bread and I go sit at a table in the corner. From this vantage point I can watch everyone coming in and out of the place, and I have to say that I don't like the treatment some men give the elven servants. So far it's mainly talk, but I'm sure it won't stop there after they have some alcohol in their bodies. I will definitely keep an eye on these people.

After I'm done in the tavern I walk around to check the places in the village, but as my previous scouting had shown me, there isn't much to see here. There is a few shops, but I don't have much money nor really a need to buy anything. I find the dwarf from the other day, sitting by a campfire, telling stories to children. I don't want to interrupt nor am I in the mood for stories at this moment, so I just nod at him in greeting and continue my way. I end up by the apothecary, who I hear arguing with a young man in robes about being overwhelmed. "I'm not a healer, I'm an alchemist!" That seems to be a constant on his argument. I wonder how many times he feels he must repeat that before people will stop insisting on him treating others. I decide to show myself, bored as I am I might as well help the man.

"Oh look who has come back from the dead, again." The man says and the young one walks towards a bookshelf to check on something.

"Have I been close to dying?" I really don't remember that. He laughs at me though.

"Yes, girl, you have. And nobody could heal you. I don't know what that apostate did, but you should thank him if you haven't already."

"Apostate?" Which one? The village is full of them.

"Are you weak in the head, girl? Perhaps you haven't quite recovered yet, hm? The elven apostate who knows about the Fade." At least he doesn't seem affected by my stupid title in the least. And doesn't think he's more than me because I'm an elf. I just might get along with him.

"Oh, Solas. Yes, I've thanked him." That weird flat-ear.

"That's good. It's not just because people are calling you the Herald of Andraste that you should think you're beyond thanking people for their help."

"Wouldn't dream of it, ser." I'm Dalish, of course I thank people when they help me. Of course I'd rather not need the help.

"Adan. That's my name, and this is Jon, my apprentice." I nod in greeting at the young man who stops looking through his book to look at me.

"I see you look busy, Adan. Need help?" He snorts.

"Of course I do. But I don't see how you could help me, being a rogue and all. Wait, actually there **is** something you can do for me. Jon here is too afraid to go outside of the village, thinks there's still demons out there, so I need someone else to go fetch Master Taigen's notes in his home. Well, not his home anymore; unfortunate soul died at the Conclave."

"Alright. Where is it?"

"Just head down the road through the training camp and you'll find a cabin in the woods. The man was very close to a breakthrough and it would be a shame to lose it."

"Sure. I'll get it back for you." Might be enough time to digest lunch before another training session.

 

The way to the cabin is clear, maybe that man is just traumatized. Finding the notes is quite the task, though. The dead man wasn't an organized person. At some point I give up and just get everything he was working on, finished or not, and put inside a crate to deliver to Adan. On my way back I greet the Lieutenant, saying I'll be back for my third round in a bit.

Adan is surprised to see the amount of things I brought him, but thankful nonetheless. He tells me he would give me potions as reward for my trouble but since I can't be healed it would be a waste of resources. That gets me, though. "Wait, I _can't_ be healed by potions? What do you mean?" I'm fairly sure I can.

"You can't. We tried all kinds of potions, it didn't work on you." I frown. Is this a side effect of the mark? "Your shock leads me to believe it started after that mark on your hand."

"That's why you don't know how Solas healed me..." I say more to myself than anything, but he answers all the same.

"Yes. Maybe it's something he learned in the woods. Maker knows I don't understand apostates."

"Maybe I should talk to him about that. I'll leave you to your work."

"Yeah, thank you for the notes. This might not help you but it will help many others."

And with that I make my way out. I could go talk to Solas now but I don't know where he is, and besides, I'm not sure I _want_ to talk to him. He still rubs me the wrong way. I'll go train until I'm exhausted then I'll see what I do. Probably I'll just bathe and sleep. Sounds like a good plan.

 

Fighting with a _real_ weapon is much more exciting. The danger of being hurt takes this to a whole new level of attention, and there's no room to be bored. They are still weak oponents, but since fighting face to face is not my usual tactic this is still a good exercise. I suppose I should take it slow and make the most out of this section before I move to the next one. The sun is almost down when I stop for the day, and I got a few scratches. This shouldn't be a problem, it's nothing that my body can't heal on its own. I go back to my cabin to clean up.

 

 

*****

 

Word arrived about the prisoner-turned-Herald of Andraste waking up. Solas can't say he isn't relieved, but he is also worried about how this will affect him. Her mark is stable for now, and people seem to have forgotten he was the one that put the woman standing again. Were he in his perfect shape these people wouldn't pose any threat to him, but as weak as he is the Templars might be a challenge, and for everything he has been hearing and _seeing_ , the Templars are just too happy to get involved whenever there is a mage in question.

He knows, however, that the Herald will continue to need him, otherwise she will succumb to her injuries. When word reaches his ears that she's been training with the soldiers a shiver runs down his spine. _She will get hurt_. He never thought this safeguard would become such a problem to him when he created it; it was a good way to mock his enemies, he never had to keep any of them alive. But now, now things were quite different.

As he continued about his day normally, helping the injured in the healers' ward, he heard of the Herald's prowess in the training area, and how the recruits were torn between hating her for 'kicking their asses' or inspired by her presence fighting with them. He might not need to worry about her getting injured after all. _Not while in Haven at least._

So when a knock on his door at night takes him from his reading, he is very surprised to see a bleeding Herald. "What happened?" The words left his mouth before he could even think to stop them. She has a really nasty cut on her right arm, her opposite hand uselessly holding the skin together.

"I've been told you're the only one who knows how to heal me." Her voice sounds distressed, and he wonders for long she's been trying to treat that injury.

"Come in." He makes way for her to enter and starts searching for a piece of cloth she could use to clean up.

"I'm sorry to come by like this, I haven't even greeted you, so, good evening." Her words surprise him, but he tries not to show it. To think that a Dalish would care enough to worry about manners in a time like this is too surprising.

"Good evening. How did that happen?" He asks, finally finding the shredded cotton shirt he had kept in one of the drawers.

"I honestly don't know." She has a frown and looks disturbed. "The scratches I got from training were so superficial that they didn't even bleed. But then..." She sighs and takes the offered piece of cloth from Solas, who is now standing in front of her. "Then while I was having dinner a drop of blood startled me, and it only got worse from then." She tries to hold the bleeding with the cloth but it's not doing much. "It has never happened before. Adan said I couldn't be healed, he thinks it's an effect of the mark, and that you knew how to heal me."

"I do know." That seems to make her relax. "But I will need a moment to prepare it."

"Sure, I can wait."

"And I must not be interrupted, and I'll need you to stay here. Don't go anywhere."

"No point in going anywhere if you're the only one who can help me, Solas."

"I mean, don't wander around the cabin. I need silence and privacy while I work. This is... a delicate procedure."

"Sure." She seems confused, but he tries not to think about the reason. He nods to her answer and then makes his way to the cupboard near the fireplace. While he searches for a spoon and a bowl she continues. "How do you know how to heal me?"

"The Fade." Is all he says, which is a half-truth; it was Wisdom who reminded him of it. Before moving towards the door that leads to his bedroom he announces "I will start now."

As he closes the door behind him, his impulse is to set something on fire as the annoyance at his own foolish behavior as a young man eats at him. But he's older now, and knows how to control his impulses. He sits down on his bed, getting comfortable, and places the bowl and spoon beside him. _This is shameful_. He thinks while he lowers his pants down to the middle of his thighs. The thought of having her right outside his door, waiting unknowingly for his seed rubs his rebellious side in a way he hasn't felt in a long time, but it also makes him feel bad about the morality of it. _She'll die without this_. And that is encouragement enough.

His hand finds himself half-hard, _probably still an effect of being too long without intimacy_ , he guesses, and starts rubbing the length. If he could imagine some lewd scenario this would be much easier, but his morality tries to hold him back on that effort. _The body reacts on its own, I don't need a dirty motivation about her_. But again, knowing he's doing this for her, that she'll soon have to drink his essence, gives him some wicked extra pleasure. He doesn't have time to enjoy it though, the sooner he's done the sooner she'll stop bleeding and she'll be able to return to her cabin; and so he tries to make it quick. Of course it's pleasurable, and he feels a little guilty about it. As his cock gets harder and hotter in his hand, he feels the climax nearing and he prepares the bowl to catch all that comes out. He tries to hold back the grunts and groans that his body tries to make, but his breathing is too hard to control. He finally spills into the bowl, hoping the amount will be enough, and with a frown he lets his body rest a little.

Chastising his actions, he pulls back his pants and picks up the bowl again. If he uses magic to collect the fluid he can place it all in the spoon, without wasting any drop. _Will she know what she's taking?_ It would be awful if she realizes what it is, because there is no easy way of explaining it. After making sure there is no evidence of his actions on his clothes, he starts gathering the seed into the spoon with his magic and after he is done, he carefully leaves the bedroom, finding Eranen still sited at the chair, seemingly unaware of everything that happened in the room next to her. "I have it." He says with his neutral voice, masking all the guilt and disgust he feels. Her smile, filled with hope, hits hard at him and he staggers in place. Everything that is happening to her is his fault, yet she is happy that he has the means to heal her. "Drink it all, the faster the better, it has a... peculiar taste."

She takes the spoon from him with a curious face, and he _really_ wishes he could know what she thought at that moment. She was observing the content of the spoon as if it was completely unknown to her, perhaps even suspicious. She approaches it to her nose and then tilts her head, not saying anything; then she drinks it, and she _tastes_ it in her mouth. Solas sees the way she moves her lips and her jaw as if trying to identify what she has there; and it makes him surprisingly proud. She seems to struggle with it after a few seconds, but the sight of her wound on her arm glowing and closing seems to be encouragement enough for her to swallow it. She's still moving her tongue about when she speaks "Peculiar taste indeed. Sticky, salty, just a hint of sweetness, a little... sour? I can't quite place it. It's not bad as you made me believe though. What's in it?" Having her describing the way he tastes, saying that she _likes it_ , gives him an odd feeling he wasn't expecting: arousal.

"I am afraid I cannot say, it is an old ritual that produces it." At that she frowns and she continues. "Do not worry, it's completely safe."

"And why are you the only one that can make it?"

"I searched for answers in the Fade, and as I just said, it is an old ritual and I am not sure I could teach its intricacies to another."

"Oh, bad teacher?" She chuckles and he tries not to mind her opinion of him, it's necessary that she believes that. "Well, Solas, I don't really mind how you did it, but I'm really glad you did it. Thank you very much. If there's a way for me to repay you, let me know." She moves to stand.

"I will keep it in mind, although you should not concern yourself; if I am the one able to heal you, then I shall."

"Such a kind heart." She gives him a smile, and he feels he might be getting more affected by her than he should. _I'm too long without company_. "I might come by tomorrow to have a proper conversation with you, it's late now and I bet you want to rest."

"I must admit I do. There is much to see in the Fade after all." Not in Haven anymore, though. He has seen everything there was to see in this place, and the spirits have left. He wants her to leave so he can focus his mind again.

"Then I'll leave you to your dreams." She says with a smile and a nod. "Good night, Solas."

"Try to be careful, the ritual to produce your medication can be... tiring."

"Oh sure, I'll try to be." And with that she leaves, taking the blooded cloth with her, only to return quickly and say "I'll return it to you tomorrow after it's cleaned." And then she really leaves, and he finds himself with a smile on his face. _She is quite lively_... _Nonsense, she cannot be with the Veil_.

 


	5. Elven Relations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, more trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so happy to see there are people enjoying this crazy story! <3  
> Thank you all for the kudos and the comments! They make my day! <3  
> I hope you like this chapter! :3

I make my way home wondering about the curious taste in my mouth. It's odd how awkward it is, it doesn't really taste like anything I've eaten before, and I've tasted so many herbs and weird food in the wilderness. When he means it's 'produced' by a ritual does it mean it isn't really made from anything, but conjured? Would this be considered _eating_ magic? How interesting.

To find out that the mysterious flat-ear would be the only one able to keep me healthy is so unexpected. And he is _so_ weird. Sometimes he seems so aloof, so... indifferent about everything around him, but other times he feels so intense. Earlier in his cabin he seemed really worried, but also... uneasy. I wonder if he's that unused to people that my presence made him uncomfortable. Or maybe he is just uncomfortable because I'm Dalish. He did say his previous encounters with the Dalish weren't good ones. I suppose I should try to be friends with the only person that can keep me alive now. Wait. _The only person_ who can keep me alive. What the hell am I supposed to do from now on? Will I have to be stuck with him? I doubt he would like to join my clan, not to mention there is a limit for mages. I can't just become invulnerable, I'm bound to be hurt eventually. I look at the mark. Can I get rid of you?

 

Morning comes and before I go to the tavern for breakfast I try to find the servants. I need to clean this cloth, it's the least I can do. It doesn't take me long to see a scurrying elf girl, and I call out for her. She stops right at the spot, as if struck by lightning. As I approach I notice she seems to be shaking; is that fear? "Good morning," I attempt.

"Er, good morning, Herald. What can I do for you?" Her voice is so weak and she definitely sounds scared. Her eyes look everywhere but my face.

"Why are you afraid?"

"I'm not afraid, Your Worship, why would I be afraid of the Herald of Andraste?" I sigh at her behavior. Seriously, what is wrong with these people? Is the pride from her elven blood completely diluted? I'll see if I can change this.

"I'd like for you, and all the elven servants to come talk to me at the end of the day." Her eyes go wide and her skin gets even paler. I wonder if she is expecting something bad to happen to her. She likely is. "What is your name?"

"I-it's Emma, Your Worship."

"Alright, Emma, you call me Eranen from now on." Her mouth opens in surprise and her eyes dart to mine for a second, before she takes her gaze to her feet.

"I-I couldn't, Your Worship! That'd be disrespectful!"

"Calling me by my name is disrespectful?" I tilt my head in a mock threat. "Do you mean my name is offensive, Emma?"

"N-no! O-of course not!" The poor girl seems completely scared now. Maybe I pushed too far? Maybe they are too far gone into this inferior stigma. But I can't break my facade or my plan fails.

"Good. Then you _will_ call me by my name. I can't have my own people calling me the Herald of a shem's god, can I?" She seems embarrassed.

"B-but... Andraste is the Bride of the Maker, she is good." I sigh. Hasn't she learned that because of this _Andraste_ a lot of elves died? I can't blame her, of course, the woman was centuries dead, but her shem followers would do anything in her name. I can't be related to it.

"She may have been good, but in her name many of our people died. We lost our home because of her followers. I don't want my own people calling me her Herald."

"I-of course, E-Eranen, my lady." Damn this.

" _Just_ Eranen, Emma. I'm not a noble, and I don't want to be treated as one." She frowns, seemingly confused, but then raises her head a little.

"As you wish, Eranen." I smile.

"Good. Now, you tell every other elven servant to come to my cabin at the end of the day, and for them _not_ to call me Herald. To you all I'm just me, Eranen." She is still frowning, possibly conflicted, but she nods. "Good. Now, where can I go to get this cleaned?" I show her the blooded cloth and her eyes go wide.

"A-are you injured, Your Wor-Eranen?"

"No, not anymore. Don't worry. I just need to clean this so I can return it." She offers her shaky hand.

"I'll take it from you and return in a few hours."

"Nonsense. I bloodied it, I'm cleaning it." She seems taken aback by that.

"B-but-"

"But nothing." In my clan we take care of our own stuff, I'm not about to get lazy and let someone else take over my own responsibilities. "Now, where do I go?"

"Er... since you insist, the laundry house is that way. The single house at the end of this street." She points it to me and I nod.

"Alright. Thank you. Oh, and if someone gives you trouble for this time we spent talking, tell them the _Herald of Andraste_ was talking to you, and if they have any issue with it they can come talk to me." They made me their damn Herald, then I'll be their damn Herald. Except Andraste's will is that I defend the elves.

I make my way to the building, and the lye's smell is quite strong. The servants are mostly elves, but I see two humans there too. The moment they see me they stop what they're doing and start whispering and mumbling things. One of the elven girls run my way and quickly asks "Can I help you with something, Your Worship?" I trust Emma to talk to this girl later so I save myself some time and just go straight to business.

"Yes, actually. Where are the supplies? I need to wash this."

"Give it to me, I'll take care of it for you." She says with her hand extended.

"Nonsense, I'm doing it myself." She looks to the other girls that have approached, maybe asking herself if this was real or something like that. "So?" She looks at me as if she's being asked to kill someone.

"Well, er... they're on the shelf. The water is gathered there." She points to the places and I nod in acknowledgement.

"Alright. Thank you." And I move to get the stuff I'll need to wash the cloth.

 

Blood is a pain to remove, and that I already knew from previous experience, but eventually it comes off. I'm really hungry by the time I'm done, and I imagine I may have skipped breakfast completely. One of the girls offers to deliver the cloth to me when it's dry, and that at least I accept their help with.

On my way to the tavern I see Varric, again telling stories to some people, and I make a mental note to stop by to talk to him another time; now I want food. I wave at him and he nods back, so I just keep on moving. The tavern has more people this time, and it's a bit uncomfortable. I see some of the recruits I've thrown onto the ground yesterday and they seem flustered to see me, I think it's amusing, really. Eating while sometimes exchanging a few words with Flissa over the counter, I wonder what I could do before going to the training grounds. Maybe Adan needs help collecting herbs?

Turns out the man does need help with it, since his apprentice is still afraid of going outside Haven and the little garden doesn't have enough elfroot. He is glad for my help and I make my way outside with two small sacks to keep the leaves.

 

It's nice to be back at the woods, the fresh and herbal scent among the damp wood smell is quite comforting. It smells much different than the woods in the Free Marches, but nature is nature and I welcome it's soothing power. I often see cute nugs scurrying away while I collect the herbs, and I have to wonder how rich is this place in matters of animal life.

Thankfully elfroot seems to grow around here like weed, so I manage to fill both sacks quickly. I make the way back to Adan, taking the opportunity to let the Lieutenant I was training under know that I'd be back in a few minutes. Cullen nods to me in greeting as I pass by him, busy just like yesterday. As I walk through the streets I wonder how troublesome it actually is for Solas to create that healing substance, because I'm almost sure I can't avoid being hurt while training. And I need to train. Whatever that thing that was holding the Divine was in that vision, it didn't seem easy to kill. I might be one of the best assassins in my clan, but surely I can't face him with my combat experience. He destroyed the Temple, for Creator's sake! And if even the shallowest of the scratches can open on their own to try and kill me, I don't really know how often I'll be needing that thing. Would he be too mad at me if he has to patch me up daily?

 

 

*****

 

 

Solas was at his cabin, reading through yet another book from the Chantry's library to try and see how the humans of this age thought and influenced others. He didn't like what he was finding; the more he read the more injustice and oppression he saw, but it was necessary to know more about the enemy before striking it down. Because that is what the Chantry was: his people's enemy. They wouldn't let him achieve his plans easily, unless he could get his Orb back; because with the Orb there wouldn't be anyone on this side of the Veil capable of stopping him. But Solas wouldn't be anything if not prepared, and he thought of every possibility; so he prepared for the chance that he would need to face the Chantry, and in order to do so he had to know more about it. And knowing from the perspective of the believers was as essential when trying to overcome a cult, so the book was an useful tool, as dull and repulsing as it could be.

He is still reading when once again he is interrupted by a knock on his door; it's almost nightfall, and he wonders if it's maybe Eranen with the cloth she said she would return. There was no need for her to wash it and return it, but she was gone before he could tell her last night. The person at the door knocks again, more hurriedly this time, and he thinks that maybe it's not her. He really hopes it's not her with another injury. He _really_ doesn't want to engage in the shameful act again.

When he opens the door he is surprised to see a scout, and he is _very_ flustered; he probably made it there running. "Solas, ser, please come with me, it's the Herald, she's injured and the Commander says you're the only one who can heal her." _Damn that woman!_

"Of course," he immediately closes the door and follows the man, both almost in a sprint.

They make their way to the training grounds, and when the apostate sees her body still splayed on the ground, on a pool of her own blood which seems to be streaming from her forehead, his own blood seems to run cold. _She can't die_ , he thinks while running towards her. Checking her pulse he is glad to find her stable, but she is unconscious and head wounds can be very dangerous. "What happened?" He snaps at the people around. _How can they let the only person who can save them be injured like this?_

"She was bashed with a shield during practice." Cullen says with a worried face. "Can you heal her, Solas?"

"Yes." He tries to get her on his arms, and he feels her body temperature is quite cold.

"Are you sure it's safe to move her? Can't you heal her here?" The Commander asks, tension clear on his tone.

"It is imperative that I move her to a calm and private place, Commander. Now, if you'll excuse me, she needs treatment." Solas sees the frown in the man's face, and he is sure there are several questions brewing in his mind, but he can't worry about that now; the woman in his arms needs to survive if the Breach is to be closed.

 

The people of Haven make way for him to pass, but they all stick around to see what is going on, and the ones who haven't heard of the incident gather around to ask the others about it. Solas makes his way home, cursing mentally about his safeguard and the behavior of the woman in his arms. _How can she be so reckless?_

When he finally enters his cabin he finds himself having to close the curtains of his bedroom's window and placing a ward for extra privacy. After letting Eranen on his bed, he locks the door. _A shield bash shouldn't do this much harm, there is something off in this story_. Looking at her so pale, he wonders if only his seed would be enough to heal her. He runs his magic through her body once again, finding her strength waning by the minute; he'll need to be fast. Solas thinks he might not need a more direct approach, that only the product of the act should be enough, even though she is so weak; so he begins working on his pants.

He is sure she won't wake up before he gives her his essence, but he still feels a little afraid of the odd chance that it could happen. This kind of tension only makes it more difficult for him to achieve the climax, and so he tries to clear his mind. If he isn't quick, her condition might become too severe, and then there is only one thing that could get her back before she dies, and he _really_ didn't want to resort to that without her consent; doing this without her consent was already heavy on his conscience as it was.

At last he spills it on her face, making it easier to collect it all and rub on the inside of her lips, and he loathes to admit it, but he feels a little aroused at the sight. _It has definitely been too long, this manner of thought is absurd_ , he chastises himself. When he gives her the last drop he runs his magic to check on her condition, only to find out that she hasn't improved as much as she should have. _Damn this_. Whatever happened in that training ground it wasn't a simple concussion, there is definitely something more at that shield bash.

The recovery glow on her skin is too weak, and he knows what is lacking; even though he hates it he'll do it for her sake. Not even bothering to fix his clothes, knowing he isn't done yet, he walks to the armoire and grabs some more of his bed covers so he can use them to support Eranen's back as he sets her on a semi-sitting position. His member is still half hard, and after he is done positioning the woman, he takes it in hand once again, but not to work it as before. He hopes he won't have to finish it again, that just having himself in her mouth will be enough; and so he parts her lips with his hand, in the more delicate way he can in this position, and pushes his cock past her lips with his other hand, carefully and slowly. The second he slides on her tongue he sees the glow increasing in intensity, and he pushes farther inside. _Don't think how good this feels... don't... don't..._ Solas's breathing becomes rougher as he tries to control himself, he doesn't need to do anything but to keep it there for a few more seconds.

This was the most trying moment in months, but he accomplished it. Pulling out of her mouth, feeling the hot and shivering sensation run through his veins as he does it, he watches her body glowing strong as the injuries heal. Quickly fixing his clothes, hiding the offending appendage throbbing for attention, he goes to the other room to fetch a bowl of warm water and a piece of cloth to clean her face, both from the remnants of his act and blood.

As difficult as it is to focus on anything when his body asks for attention, he's had enough experience in his life to overcome this kind of obstacle. Her hair will need to be washed, but Solas manages to clean her face and neck. She should wake up in a few minutes, and she'll probably be hungry. His conscience begs him to make up for her in some way, so he plans on bringing her food.

The moment he opens the door he is -not- surprised to see a legion of people waiting, among them is the Commander, who immediately steps forward. "Solas, how is she?"

"She is resting, the injuries have been treated." The large man in front of him visibly relaxes. "I was going to get her some food, I believe she will be hungry when she wakes."

"One of my men can do it, I'd like to speak with you if you don't mind." Cullen says as he motions for one of the soldiers to approach. Solas holds back a sigh and agrees with a nod.

After Cullen tells the woman soldier to bring the Herald's dinner, both men go inside the cabin.

 


	6. First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas and Cullen clear the air about what's going on and Eranen talks with Solas over dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so fun to write this odd story lol  
> This chapter is pure dialogue, and I hope you like it :)

Solas sits at the table, motioning for the Commander to do so on the opposite chair. Cullen is visibly worried about something, the man was never good at hiding his emotions and this time it's even more obvious. They sit in silence for a while, the larger man probably unsure of how to begin, and the elf simply waits. "How is it that you alone can heal her, Solas?" The commander finally asks.

"I researched it in the Fade, it is an old ritual which I'm afraid I cannot explain to another how it is performed." Solas says, calmly. This explanation seems to be the best he could give for now.

"Why do you require privacy to do it?" The man becomes suddenly very serious, "You know how this might look to me."

"You suspect blood magic." The mage offers, and the Commander straightens his posture further, as if expecting an attack. "Worry not, Commander, blood magic does not interest me, as it makes it harder to enter the Fade; as you've likely heard from the Hands of the Divine, I love the Fade and would not practice magic that hinders my experience." Cullen frowns.

"Then why so much secrecy?"

"It is a delicate procedure, and I require peace and quiet to perform it; none I can have with people observing."

Cullen takes a minute, then says "I understand."

"Commander, you said she was injured by a shield bash, but I noticed the extension of her injuries doesn't match a simple shield bash."

"I suspected as much." He sighs. "I ordered the Lieutenant to examine the shield while you brought her here, she might already have results."

"I highly suspect foul play," Cullen recoils at his words, "her injuries show the attempt was to maime or kill, Commander."

"That is a grave accusation, Solas, are you certain?"

"Yes. It worries me that someone inside the Inquisition would try to hurt the only person capable of closing the Breach."

"I will get on this," the man stands up, "thank you for your help."

"Of course. I hope you find the culprit and their reasons."

And with that Cullen makes his way outside, almost bumping into the soldier who was bringing Eranen's dinner. Solas gets the tray from the woman's hands and places it on the table, then thanks the soldier for her help and closes the door. Not having much to do while the woman is asleep on his bed, the mage gets his book and continues his reading.

 

 

*****

 

 

Urgh... My head hurts. There it is again, the weird taste in my mouth. Damn, I was unconscious and Solas helped me; he is probably pissed that I've hurt myself so soon after he asked me not to get injured. I open my eyes and look at the unfamiliar place. Where am I? I try to sit up but my head is a bit sore and it stings with the movement. As I run my hand through my hair I feel the dry blood. Shit... how bad was it? I stand up and look at where I was laying, it's a mess. Shit, if I continue to bloody things like this I'll spend much more time in the laundry house than I expected. I collect the bloodied sheets and fold them so I can take them with me outside. Noticing the curtain is closed I approach to take a peek at the weather and time. Oh fuck, it's already night! The meeting with the elves! I hurry out of the room and I startle at the sight of Solas siting at the table. I look around and notice I'm in his cabin. That was _his_ bedroom, _his_ bed. Shit. "Oh, Solas. I'm sorry." He takes his eyes from his book and raises an eyebrow at me, making me feel compelled to continue. "For injuring myself so soon, and for bloodying your sheets." I show him the folded cloth in my hands.

"There is no need for you to take it to clean, if that is what you are doing." I frown.

"But-"

"There are people whose work is to do that sort of task."

"But-"

"Don't get in other's people works, Herald." I sigh and walk towards him.

"That wasn't my intention, I'm just trying to pull my own weight. I gave you trouble, I should make it up to you."

"There are other ways you could do that, washing my bed sheets will not help me if there are already people doing it."

"Of course. What can I help you with, then?"

"I do not have anything in mind, however I will let you know if I think of something." He motions for the tray on the table and I notice the food. "Your dinner, hopefully it hasn't become cold; if it has I could warm it up for you with magic, if that would not make you uncomfortable." His offer sounds more like a question, and I find myself answering it.

"Magic doesn't make me uncomfortable, Solas. But why did you keep dinner for me?"

"Is it not obvious? I anticipated you would wake up hungry." I chuckle.

"Well... you thought right."

"Then sit down and eat." I look at him for a couple of seconds, wondering about the way he has treated me so far. He is a very mysterious person, and even though his words are cold, his actions are quite caring. Puzzling man. I place the sheets over a crate by the door and sit down, the smell coming from the stew making me hungrier. As I take a spoonful of food, humming in delight, he continues. "How did you injure yourself?"

"I was training in the fourth section, things were going quite well even though people were much stronger than in the third; but then when I was facing a man with a shield I blacked out."

"Was there anything out of the ordinary with the man or the shield?" I don't really understand his line of thought but I try to think back at the moment of the fight.

"No, I mean, he didn't seem to like me, but so far very few do."

"What do you mean?"

"There are people there who **really** don't like having their asses kicked by an elven girl." I think I get a glimpse of amusement on his face before he frowns.

"Your injuries were very severe, Eranen. I believe the person who hit you intended on maiming or even killing you."

"But I'm the _only_ one who can close that hole! Could they be **that** stupid?"

"I would not underestimate the power of prejudice in people's mind if I were you."

"Damn shems!" I'm not done eating but I set the spoon down and motion to stand up when Solas' hand blocks my path.

"You should finish your meal." I look at him with a mixture of annoyance and confusion.

"I have to sort this, I can't let it pass, Solas!"

"It will not. The Commander is already investigating it."

"The Commander is a shem, they always protect themselves!"

"You were severely injured, as much as I could heal you, your body still needs time to recover. If you rush out of here in your current condition you will likely faint." I sigh. He's right.

"So..." I run the spoon in the stew and continue, "the Commander said he'll investigate it?"

"He said he thought it suspicious the way you were hurt, and asked one of the Lieutenants to analyze the shield. After I told him my evaluation of your injury he set out to investigate what had happened." He pauses for a couple of seconds and continues. "You are correct when you say the humans protect each other, however the Commander seems to be a fair man."

"You think so?"

"I do not believe he would let the men who planned against the Herald of Andraste roam free."

"Well... when you put it that way." I take a deep breath, remembering the other elves in the village. "If only that was applied to the other elves. Did you see how they are treated?" He sighs.

"Yes. It is unfortunate."

"I was supposed to meet with the elven servants tonight, you know? But then this happened..."

"Don't worry, I'm sure the whole village knows of what happened to you. You can probably meet with them again tomorrow."

"Does it annoy you to see the way the servants behave? As if someone is going to hit them at any second?" He seems pained for a second there, so I guess it _does_ bother him.

"Yes. The elves have been through a long history of abuse."

"At least the Dalish fight daily to keep our legacy alive, I can't understand how the elves here bow like that."

"The Dalish don't even know what has truly been lost, how can they keep a legacy they do not understand alive?" _What?_ Who the hell does he think he is to say that?

"How can you say that? What do _you_ know?" He sighs.

"While the Dalish scavenge ruins for any signs of what were, passing on stories, mangling details, _I_ walk the Fade. I have seen things they have not. I have watched spirits tell stories of civilizations long forgotten, battles and events the Dalish could never find in those ruins."

"The Dalish are trying to _restore_ elven history, if you know something new you should share it."

"Would _your_ clan have listened to anything I've learned in my travels? Or would they mock the flat ear and his stories and go back to their ruins? At least you are asking, that means something." I feel slapped at that, how many times have I referred to him as flat ear in my thoughts? I take a deep breath.

"Ir abelas, Hahren; if the Dalish have done you a disservice I would set that right." He did say his encounters with the Dalish weren't good ones.

"No, the fault is mine, for expecting something of the Dalish they could never truly accomplish. Ir abelas, Da'len, if I can offer you any understanding you have but to ask." And there he goes with the weird way of speaking. How old is he?

"You... you say you learned how to heal me in the Fade, and just now you said you watched history play in front of you by spirits..."

"That's right."

"How? I mean... my clan's Hahren has told me about mages who could walk the Fade, but that it was dangerous and rare... are you..."

"A Dreamer? Yes."

"How does that work exactly? I mean... being conscious while sleeping... it sounds... exciting!" He raises his eyebrows and I wonder why he is so surprised; his reaction makes me chuckle, though.

"Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history, every battlefield is steeped in death, both attract spirits; they press against the Veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. When I dream in such places I go deep into the Fade, I can find memories no other living being has ever seen."

"And you do that alone? Simply falling asleep in the middle of ruins, isn't that dangerous?"

"I do set wards. And if you leave food out for the giant spiders they are usually content to live and let live."

"And don't you find demons?"

"I take precautions to avoid possession, I have no wish to become a demon's tool."

"Interesting." I have so many questions... but I think I've stayed here too long already. "Would you mind talking to me more about these topics?"

"Not at all. As I said, if I can share knowledge with a willing participant I will gladly do it." I chuckle at his odd phrasing, setting the spoon down.

"Then I should probably go, I've taken too much of your time." I move to stand and this time he doesn't stop me, he stands up too.

"Do be careful with your training." He says as we walk towards the door.

"I will, and I'll talk to whoever I have to about those racists and see them punished." Solas tilts his head with a serious face, I wonder what could be going through his mind.

"Good luck."

"Good night Solas, thank you for everything." He nods and I make my way home.

 


	7. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen meets with the servants and with the advisors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Another chapter with dialogue, but next one will have some action :)  
> There is a lot to show Eranen's personality here and I hope you like it!

I leave Solas' cabin, finding many curious people gathered around. It feels like a repeat of that morning after I closed the rift. I try not to mind them, and I notice it's not actually as late as I thought it was. Maybe there is still time to meet with the servants.

When I'm almost home I spot Emma; she's carrying a large basket filled with what seem to be sheets. I call out for her and she stops, again as if struck by lightning, but as she turns and sees it's me she relaxes.

"Eranen! I heard you were injured! How are you?" She speaks so quickly that I'm actually surprised she's the same girl from the morning.

"I'm better now. Do you think you can still summon the other servants?" She tilts her head.

"I could, of course. Forgive me but, don't you prefer to rest?"

"I've been resting, I'm well enough to talk to you all."

"Then I'll gather them after I deliver these sheets. Oh and, I've returned your cloth, it's in your cabin."

"Thank you." I give her a smile and then she nods quickly before rushing towards wherever she's going to.

 

I enter my cabin thinking that I have no other choice but to wait until morning to wash my hair, it's too long to dry easily at this time of night. I find the cloth waiting for me on my bed, along with my clothes, which I intended to wash tomorrow. I don't think I can get used to people washing my things for me.

I wonder how many servants there are in this village; it's not a big place but I saw five girls washing clothes, and considering the amount of houses I assume there should be at least seven more servants beside Emma if they work more than one place, which likely they do. How many of those are elves?

About twenty minutes later there is a knock on the door; I open it to see ten elves, two of them men. I recognize the girl from the morning after the rift. They all look uneasy and I wonder what kind of thing they expect to happen after being called to a meeting with the Herald of Andraste. "Er, hello Eranen, I've brought everyone, as you asked." Emma says and I'm a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden; I might not have thought this through as well as I should have. I make way for them to enter and motion for them to do so.

They come inside and because the cabin isn't very big it gets crowded quickly; I'm afraid there won't be places for everyone to sit down. "I'm sorry about the place," I say and I see eyes getting bigger, "I know there aren't seats for everyone but you can use the bed and the chairs."

"No, of course not. We couldn't, Your Worship!" The girl from the morning after the rift quickly says and I see the slight panic on her face is shared by all the others, including Emma.

"Well, I'm not going to argue about this," I say as I stand against the wall, looking at all of them. "By the way you refer to me I take it Emma hasn't talked to you about the title, or you didn't believe her." The girl, who is probably still on her teens, seems to get smaller. "You didn't believe her, then. Well, I'll say this once, and I hope you all take it to heart: I'm **not** the Herald of Andraste, I refuse to believe this mark on my hand is her job. And I want you all to call me by my name, which is Eranen." They look at me in shock, but I continue, "I will, of course, take advantage of the title to make things better. Say, or even better, the ones who believe in Andraste raise your hands." Nine do, and I sigh. I guess it can't be helped when they are raised among humans. "You who didn't raise yours, what's your name?"

"Faron, Your Wor-, er... Eranen, my lady." I close my eyes in annoyance at the title. The young man is probably on his twenties.

"Alright, another thing. **Don't** call me _lady_ , I'm not a noble, I don't want to be called like them. Just my name is everything you need." They seem very confused, but I'll let them ask questions later. "Now, Faron, why don't you believe in Andraste? Do you believe in the Elven Gods?"

"No, I don't believe in gods." Hmm, interesting.

"Why is that, Faron?"

"What's the point of gods if they don't help us with anything? Whatever happens in our lives are consequences of our actions, or someone else's. Gods don't do anything."

"I see your point." And I almost agree with you. "The rest of you, why do you believe in Andraste and the Maker?" They look to each other, probably unsure if they should speak or not. Emma does.

"We were taught about the Maker, and how Andraste was chosen because she was so good."

"Alright, so you believe in them because someone told you you should? Don't worry, that's what happens in my clan too, but they teach about the Elven Gods. What do you see when you look in the mirror?" They once again look to each other, I don't wait for an answer. "You see yourselves. And what are you? Elves. Do you know what the humans did in the name of Andraste, the woman who they say was so good and fought for justice and righteousness?" They look to each other again. "They don't mention it to you, do they? They probably only teach you the Chant and tell you how good their god is." I take a deep breath. "Very well, you know the history of the Dales?" They look to each other again; don't they know about their own history? Maybe the servants don't have access to it?

"Some ages ago they were given to the elves, and then taken from them." Faron says and I smile.

"That's right. When Andraste rose against slavery the elves helped her, and even though she died her children honored her wish and gave us the Dales. But what happened then? The humans couldn't accept that we had our own Gods, they wanted to force their Maker on us so they killed many in her name and stole our homes from us. Do you understand why I don't want to have my own people calling me her Herald?"

"You can't blame her for what the humans have done." The oldest of the women says. I think she was one of the girls in the laundry house.

"Oh I don't. She's not the one who murdered children in the name of someone who died for freedom. I don't blame the humans of this age either, they weren't there. That's not my point. The thing is that I can't represent a woman who is the icon of what destroyed my people's home to my own people."

"You want us to believe in the Elven Gods?" The first girl asks and I snicker, which seems to surprise them.

"No. I'm not here to preach religion. Say, what's your name?"

"It's Nehna."

"Nehna, what I want you all to understand is that I'm no better than any of you, and I don't want any of you to feel less than those humans. They might think they are, but they're not. They're calling me the Herald of Andraste, and I'll use that to make elven lives better. They want me to be Andraste's voice? So I say Andraste wants the elves to rise against the racists."

"Well, I think that's something she would fight for." Nehna says and I'm starting to believe she is quite the believer in the Maker. Well, if she still becomes a better person it's alright, she can believe in a rock if she wants.

"And something the humans conveniently often forget. So, what are you all supposed to call me?" They look to each other and I raise my eyebrows in expectation. They timidly say my name. "I wonder why it's so hard for you to say someone's name. I don't know what they tell you around here, but I want my name to be used. So, what's my name?" They say it stronger this time. "Good. To you all I'm not the Herald, I'm no lady, I'm just Eranen. And there is another thing I want to discuss." I grab some of my dirty hair. "You see this? It's dry blood. According to Solas the injury I suffered earlier today was much more serious than what is supposed to happen in a simple training session." I see their alarmed faces, some even look to each other but they don't say anything. "I know you all are aware of people who don't like elves here. I'm willing to bet some of you were even targeted at some point. Their prejudice is so strong they're willing to risk the life of the only person capable of closing the Breach. So, have any of you suffered any violence?" I see the way they become uneasy and I sigh. Even the men. "I'm going to meet with the Hands and the Commander tomorrow, to try and sort this out, I want justice. I want to make this place safe for elves. I'm not going to side with an organization that lets this kind of thing pass. So, anybody wants to tell me what happened to yourselves?"

It takes a few minutes in awkward silence, but I wait; eventually each and every one of them tell me of bad experiences they've had with humans. Some girls were close to being raped and I wonder how these things can even have been allowed to pass. How can they claim to follow a good god when they do this kind of thing? Despicable hypocritical shems. By the end I decide to take names and I get a paper to register the offenses and the offenders. The servants seem afraid of retribution, but I assure them I'll do my best to protect them.

"If anything happens to any of you or any other elf in the village, let me know. If you need help, come to me. And tell the other elves what I told you, and if they want to tell me what happened to them so I can seek justice, they are free to do so."

"You might say you're not sent by the Maker to help us," the older woman, who is called Rosalin, says, "but to me that seems to be exactly what happened."

"Well, whoever decided I should have this mark on my hand is welcome to take the credit, but you know my reasons for disliking the idea of Andraste." She accepts my answer with a gentle smile. "Be careful around those people, but don't ever think you're beneath them. We are elves, we're a proud race who've endured much. We've come from an Ancient Empire and we built again, they've taken that from us, but we'll rise again. We endure, we fight, and we win."

"We're no fighters." Nehna says and I give her an understanding smile.

"No, you're not fighters who'll go to combat but you're strong people who struggle daily with those prickly humans, that's a fight; if you keep your eyes and ears open for whatever happens and tell me, you're fighting for us."

"Are you planning a revolt, Eranen?" Rosalin asks with a careful voice and I chuckle.

"No, I'm not. My goal is to close that hole in the sky, and while I'm here I want to make the life of the elves better. I saw in two days more injustice than I could've expected from an organization who proudly claim to be fighting for justice. That's wrong, and if they want me to be the face of it, if they want me to be the Herald of their Maker's Bride, then I'll take my share and make it better for our people."

"Count with me." Faron says and I smile.

"And with me, Eranen." Emma says, and one after the other they all agree to stick for each other. Great.

"Well, now I think I'm going to sleep. I'll see you around." And with that they wish me a good recovery and good night. They leave and I really hope they become more confident. It's not one conversation that will change years of oppression, but it's a start.

 

I wash my hair first thing in the morning, and after eating some bread with honey I make my way towards the Chantry. It's best if I get this over with already. I'm not surprised to see many people praying, but I'm surprised to see there's no Mother to guide them. The Chancellor also is nowhere nearby.

There is nobody in the War Room, so I ask one of the Sisters for the location of the Hands. She points me to a tent outside the building and I make my way there, where I find the Spymaster kneeling in prayer. I wait until she's finished so I can talk to her. She surprises me with a question. "You speak for Andraste, no? What does the Maker's Prophet has to say about all of this? What's his game?" She's crazy or what?

" _I_ speak for Andraste? Are you serious?" She fixes me a stare and I can't believe she's serious. "I speak only for myself, Spymaster."

"The Chantry teaches that the Maker abandoned us. He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all. Our lives. Our deaths. Justinia gave him everything she had, and He let her die!" She seems really upset. I guess she really liked the Divine.

"You should blame her killers, not your god."

"If the Maker doesn't intervene to save the best of his servants, what good is He? I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say _you_ are. I thought I was fulfilling His purpose for me, working with the Divine, helping people. But now she's dead. It was all for nothing. Serving the Maker meant nothing."

"So are you saying everyone you helped didn't deserve your help? You wasted your time saving lives? Should you have watched their suffering and done nothing? Or better yet, should you only do something if you think your god wants it? People's lives and needs don't matter?" She opens her mouth to say something, but I continue. "Look, I'm not a faithful person. Gods don't interfere in mortal's lives, as Dalish I know that well. We are the only ones who can make this world better or worse." She sighs.

"What have I become? Such weakness! You shouldn't have seen me like this. I should get back to work."

"Wait, Spymaster, there is something I want to discuss with you."

"Yes?"

"Maybe we should call a meeting with everyone? The Commander was investigating what happened in the training grounds yesterday and I have some things to add." She looks at me with a curious face, then nods. Before she says something a scout approaches and delivers her a note. She sighs.

"So it's true. Butler has turned on us. I hoped my hunch was wrong."

"You knew him well?" The scout asks.

"Not as well as I thought. Show me all the reports." And she starts going through the papers as soon as the man delivers it to her. I walk to a crate and sit on it, waiting for her to finish. It takes a few minutes, but then she speaks again. "There were so many questions surrounding Farrier's death. Did he think we wouldn't notice? He's killed Farrier. One of my best agents. And knows where the others are." She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "You know what must be done. Make it clean. Painless, if you can. We were friends once."

"Do you really have to kill him?" I ask.

"He betrayed us. He murdered my agent."

"And you'd kill him? Just like that?"

"You find fault with my decision?"

"If he has knowledge he's a resource."

"He's a loose end who could escape and get word to our enemies! Butler's betrayal put our agents in danger. I condemn one man to save dozens. I may not like what I do but it must be done. I cannot afford the luxury of ideals at a time like this."

"You should interrogate him, find out his reasons. Kill him and whatever he knew is lost."

"Very well, you do have a valid point. I will think of another way to deal with this man." She then turns to the scout. "Apprehend Butler, but see that he lives." The man nods and leaves. She turns to me then. "I will send for the others. You can wait in the War Room." I agree and make my way there.

 

About ten minutes later they all come inside, accompanied by a tan woman with golden shirt. Who's that one? They all greet me and introduce the woman as Josephine Montilyet, who is now the Inquisition's Ambassador. "Andaran atish'an," Josephine says and I'm surprised to hear a human speaking elven.

"Do you speak elven?" She gives me a gentle smile.

"You just heard the entirety of it I'm afraid." Well, she tried more than most.

"We have some things to talk to you, but you might want to start with what you wanted to tell us." Leliana says and I take a deep breath. Where to start?

"Alright. There are two things, and they are basically the same thing in the end. First: I noticed elves are often targeted by racists, they're mistreated and even hurt. I got names from servants who have suffered at the hands of some people, and the name of the offenders." I show them the paper where I've written them. Josephine seems shocked, as does Cassandra. Leliana probably already knew about this, being the Spymaster and all; and Cullen looks guilty, probably because of what happened yesterday. "You can see there are two names that repeat multiple times." I give the paper to Josephine, and after she takes a look she passes it to Cullen. "You said the Inquisition's purpose was to punish the people responsible for the Breach and also to right wrongs, to be fair and to see justice served. This behavior among people within the Inquisition can't be left unpunished."

"You are right. I have heard about some people acting against elves," Leliana says, "but I couldn't do anything yet. We have other priorities." Seriously?

"Honestly, if it was humans suffering would you really let it keep happening?" She frowns at me.

"Most of my agents are elves, do not put me among the people who think less of them. The Hero of Ferelden is a great friend and she's an elf." Still doesn't excuse your lack of care.

"We _are_ short on people." The Commander offers. "But you're right. This can't be allowed to continue, and it's good you've brought us these names, one of them is the man who injured you yesterday. I see he has a history of targeting elves."

"That is the second thing I wanted to discuss. Solas said my injuries showed that man tried to maim or kill me and that you were investigating it, Commander."

"I was. The shield was tampered with to inflict damage it shouldn't in a training session. He has already been locked in the dungeon, and after seeing his name here," he looks at the paper in his hand then gives it to Leliana beside him, "there is no way I can keep him in our ranks."

"Good. And what's going to be his punishment?"

"We do not have resources to keep him in the dungeons for long," Josephine offers. "We also do not have political power to inflict any harsher sentence."

"Make him serve others," I say and they all look at me with surprised faces. "He does what he does because he thinks he's above others, he think he's better than the elves and the women. Show him he's wrong. And all the others in that list too. Make them clean the chamberpots and dig latrines. Make them **help** the elves. If they try anything, take from their pay. If they harm anyone **lightly** arrest them and feed them once a day. If they harm anyone **seriously** then treat them as the criminals they are; I'd suggest death."

"It sounds reasonable to me," Leliana says.

"I also agree." Cassandra says, and I'm actually surprised.

"Death is a harsh punishment," Josephine says, "but depending on the crime it might be the best option. I would see that it's handled harmlessly for the Inquisition's reputation. There are people in Orlais who support elven rights, I could try to reach them." Hmm, this went much better than I expected. Maybe these shems aren't so bad after all. I look to the Commander, waiting his opinion.

"I'm not sure people would stand against the offenders when the victims are elves," he sighs, "but you are right when you say the Inquisition is supposed to be fair, and it should be so for everyone. We need to set example and make it right."

"I'm glad to see you are good people." I say and they seem surprised at my words.

"If that's all," Josephine says, I nod and she continues, "we have the matter of the Breach. Both mages and Templars won't talk to us, the Chantry has denounced the Inquisition, you specifically," she points to me.

"So I see that hasn't changed."

"Shouldn't they be busy arguing over who's going to become Divine?" Cullen asks, clearly annoyed.

"Some are calling you the Herald of Andraste, and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy, and _we_ heretics for harboring you."

"Chancellor Roderick's doing, no doubt." Cassandra says.

"It limits our options." Josephine continues. "Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question."

"How did the rumor of Herald of Andraste start by the way?" I ask.

"People saw what you did at the temple," the Seeker explains, "how you stopped the Breach from growing. And some saw a woman behind you in the rift, they think that was Andraste."

"Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading-" Leliana says but Cassandra interrupts her.

"Which we have not."

"The point is everyone is talking about you." The Spymaster continues. "People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some you are that sign."

"And to others the symbol of everything that's gone wrong." Josephine says.

"I **really** can't understand how they don't worry about the Breach!" I say.

"They worry," Cullen says, "they just don't think **we** can stop it."

"The Chantry is telling everyone you'll make it worse." The Ambassador adds and I sigh. These people are so damn stupid! No wonder everything went to shit.

"There is something you can do," Leliana offers, "a Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She's not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable."

"Why does she want to talk to me?"

"I understand she's a reasonable sort." The Nightingale continues. "Perhaps she does not agree with her sisters? You'll find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe."

"So I take this is my task now? To talk to this woman?" I ask and Leliana nods. Oh well, just what I needed... to talk to a Chantry person.

"Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition's influence while you are there." Cullen adds.

"We need agents to extend our reach beyond the Valley, and you're better suited than anyone to recruit them." Josephine adds too.

"Right, because I'm the Herald of Andraste." I sigh.

"In the meantime, let's think of other options." Cassandra says. "I won't leave this all to the Herald." I'm surprised with her words. Maybe I can count on this woman?

"When am I leaving?"

"I believe the sooner the better." Leliana says. "Perhaps tomorrow morning? So you have time to prepare."

"Alright. Anything else?" They say I'm free to go, and so I do.

Now I should get the cloth and return it to Solas, and I'll take the chance to let him know we're leaving tomorrow; because of course he's coming along. He's the only one who can heal me after all.

 


	8. The Truth is Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen leaves for the Hinterlands accompanied by Solas, Varric and Cassandra; and an encounter with enemies makes Solas show his companions exactly how he has been healing the Herald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! This chapter should've been posted yesterday but I was without internet connection. I hope you like it :D  
> Things will definitely change a lot from this point on. Poor Solas... poor Eranen... poor Cassandra and Varric. What an awkward situation.  
> Oh and I'll be posting chapters for this story every Tuesday if nothing gets in the way :)

As he nibbles on an apple, Solas thinks about his new findings on the Herald. She's rallying the elves in Haven to try and make their situation better. She told him yesterday that she wanted to meet with the servants, he just never thought that was the subject of the meeting. It was good to have one of his spies among them; he wonders if she would tell him of her plans. She is a mysterious person in a way, often she seems skittish but then at other times she acts openly and confidently. Whatever goes in her mind, he's certain: she's observant, cunning and definitely suspects something about him.

A knock on the door takes him from his thoughts and he opens it to find the woman who was keeping his mind busy. "Good morning, Solas." She greets with a neutral expression, and he is sure something is worrying her.

"Good morning, Herald." He moves to let her inside and she does so. "What do I owe your visit?" She then shows him the piece of cloth he had given her for her injury. The one she had no need to take for cleaning. He finds himself smiling at her action nonetheless.

"Thank you." He says as he takes it from her. "But as you know there was no need to clean this." She shrugs.

"It's done now." She looks to the table and asks "Mind if I sit?"

"Of course, suit yourself." Solas says while walking to the drawers where he keeps the cloths. "I take it you are here not only for the cloth then."

"Not only." He looks at her to see her with her head resting on both hands, elbows on the table. "I have to leave tomorrow, to talk to a Chantry Mother, and I'll need you to accompany me, since you're the only one who can heal me and all that."

"Of course. You can count on me." He says, calmly but inside he is worried about what could happen. What if he had to heal her in front of the others? Would there be a way to store his seed? He doesn't think there are any vials in Haven capable of withstanding a rune. He walks towards the table and sits down on the chair across from her. "You know I have seen many things in the Fade. Every great war has its heroes and I find myself wondering what kind you will be."

"Hero? I just want to close the Breach and go home, Solas." _Will you be able to?_ He wonders _._

"Do you miss your people?"

"I miss them, but I miss calmer times more. We don't usually have conflict where we live, and our worries were small ones. Now I find myself in the middle of faction wars and being called a religious figure of a god I don't even believe in." _That is a big change indeed_.

"You believe in the Elven Gods I presume."

"As much as one can believe in things that aren't really there. You see, my clan tells stories about the Creators just as much as any other clan, but I don't share the mindless beliefs of some of my people."

"What do you believe in?"

"There are many ruins about them, the Gods, so something existed. But Gods are supposed to _do_ something. Keepers and Hahrens think the Gods don't answer because Fen'Harel locked them away, but there are things that suggest they didn't help even before that. And seriously, if they were **really** gods, how could a single one lock them all? Fen'Harel must be quite the God then, to overpower eight other gods."

"Do you not believe him to be evil?"

"Evil? Honestly? I don't really know what to believe. Millenia has passed, whatever he is doesn't affect my life. But considering everything we know about him, to lock away both 'good'", she makes quotation marks with her fingers and he thinks it's quite amusing, "and 'evil' beings away just to prove he could? I'd say there's more to the story we aren't seeing. He could be evil, but what does he gain from it all? I mean, the world isn't any better, is it? Elvhenan fell, some say it's because of the Creators being incapable of acting, and if that was the case where did Fen'Harel go? They say he's watching and laughing from the Fade, but would he simply take pleasure in seeing everything destroyed? That doesn't seem likely to me."

"Why?"

"How can I explain this?" She takes a deep breath. "Would you destroy your own house just to prove to people you can? Nobody sane would. And considering he _did_ lock away gods he would need to be very powerful and very intelligent. To destroy his own home would conflict with that intelligence."

"You seem to think highly of him."

"Do I? Well, I guess it must seem that way. Some people in my clan would be horrified that I wouldn't fear Fen'Harel, but how can I fear something that isn't even there? I'll fear him when I see him. _If_ I see him, that is. I doubt it. But it's not that I think highly of him, it's that it doesn't make sense to me. Think with me: there are nine gods, eight are good ones and one is a neutral one who can deal with both the good ones and the other evil ones nobody mentions. To be able to deal with people of both sides he would need to be quite cunning and charismatic. Now, those gods are powerful or they wouldn't be gods, so how can someone weaker trick them all and lock them away? It's simply not possible. He has to be very intelligent to think of a way, and very powerful to do it. I can't think of his motivations though. If he simply wanted to be the only worshiped god he would still be around. And he definitely wouldn't have let his followers fall to slavery by humans, that would ruin his pride as a powerful god. So I think there are things we aren't seeing there." _Pride_...

"You carry Guilan'nain's vallaslin, but you do not believe in her."

"I liked the design." He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "What? It's true. It was the best one. Plus I like animals." They fall to silence for a couple of minutes.

"Do you have everything prepared to leave tomorrow?"

"I guess. I can sleep anywhere, I can hunt if I need to. I have my armor and weapons."

"Practical." She shrugs. "You mentioned you wanted to meet with the servants. Have you?" He wonders if she'll answer honestly.

"Oh yes, I did. It was quite productive." He tilts his head, wanting more details. "I learned many things about them, and I think I was able to put some sense into their heads. Hopefully they won't be acting like frightened rats anymore."

"Is that how you see them?"

"When they scurry away or tremble just when people approach them? How can I see them as anything else then? They should be proud people, Solas. We have a legacy to uphold, our blood shouldn't bow like that."

"You have strong beliefs about this, yet you wish to return to your clan as soon as possible." She looks to the side and sighs. Her expression turns sad then.

"I know." She opens her mouth to say something but then frowns. "Well... I guess I should go." She stands up and he wonders what she was going to say. He thought he was gaining her trust, but it seems he still has to make more progress. Solas stands up and walks her to the door; they say goodbyes and she leaves. The mage watches her form as she walks. _Maybe she could become one of my agents_.

 

 

*****

 

 

I shouldn't just tell him everything he asks. Why is it so easy to talk to him? Damn him! I should have lunch and rest; we don't have mounts and it isn't close from here to the Hinterlands.

The tavern is quite busy, and I notice some people looking at me with curious eyes; I wonder the reason. I see the dwarf, Varric, surrounded by people. The moment he sees me he waves, and soon after I'm sited with my food he approaches. "Hey there, Silver." He greets as he sits down on the opposite chair.

"Varric, right?" He nods. "How're you doing?"

"I was going to ask _you_ that question." He smirks and continues. "I still can't believe you survived Cassandra. You're lucky you were out cold for most of her frothing rage." He drinks a little and continues. "But tell me, now that she's out of earshot, how are you holding up? I mean, you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would've spread that out over more than one day."

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. It doesn't help that I don't remember how I got this thing on my hand. And a hole in the sky? All of those dead people? This is insane. None of that should've happened."

"And you don't know the half of it. I like to think I'm as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy, but this... thousands of people died on that mountain, and I was almost one of them. I still can't believe anyone was there and lived. And then there's that hole in the sky."

"The Breach needs to be sealed as soon as possible."

"If it _can_ be sealed. I've written enough tragedies to recognize where this is going and I say we're going to need a miracle. You might want to consider running at the first opportunity."

"I'm not running. I'm the only one who can fix that and I'll do everything I can to do it."

"Spoken like a hero, but heroes are everywhere, and many are dead. I can only hope you do it."

"What's with people and heroes? I don't want to be a hero, I just want to close that and go home." He gives me a simpathetic smile and raises his mug to me.

"Good luck to you! To us!" And then he chuckles.

"Since you want to help do you want to come to Hinterlands tomorrow?"

"Oh? What for?"

"The Council wants me to talk to a Revered Mother in the Crossroads."

"I thought the Chantry had denounced the Inquisition." I shrug.

"I'm following orders. The Spymaster says talking to this woman will help us with the Chantry, that she wants to meet the _Herald of Andraste_."

"Count me in. I guess I can use some time away from Haven too." I chuckle. "You'll need Chuckles, you know that, right?"

"He's coming with."

"That's good. And er... is the Seeker..."

"She's coming with too."

"Damn it." He sighs. "But I guess it can't be helped. Well, let's see how she takes my willing presence now." He winks and I laugh.

"How did you become her prisoner?"

"Oh that's a long story, but have you heard of the Champion of Kirkwall?" I snicker.

"I'm Dalish but some stories do travel around."

"Alright, so she wanted information on the Champion. She didn't believe my book." He becomes clearly sour at that. I wonder why.

"Got a copy with you?"

"I know better than to keep books around the Seeker now, so I'm afraid I don't, Silver." He gives me an apologetic smile.

"Oh well, whenever we find a bookshop then."

"I'll autograph it for you when you do."

"That'd be great, thank you."

We continue talking about Haven until I'm done eating, then I make my way home to pack and sleep.

 

Morning comes and after I'm ready I meet with the others at Haven's gates. I find Varric and Solas already waiting, but no sign of Cassandra. The men greet me, and I notice Solas seems somewhat anxious. It's hard to read his expressions sometimes so I guess things must be quite intense for it to be showing so clearly. "Any idea how long this will take?" I ask and Solas is the one to answer me.

"Likely a week."

"I just hope we don't come across too much trouble." Varric says. "I heard from some scouts after you left yesterday that the mage-templar conflict is intense over that way." I sigh.

"It would be really nice if it was uneventful." I say as I sit down on a rock to wait for Cassandra.

She arrives a few minutes later, accompanied by the other members of the Council. After a quick briefing about the route we're taking and what we're likely encountering on the way, we leave. It's weird to be with them again after that rift, specially Cassandra. She was so ready to kill me, and now she is beside me to protect me. Life is a curious thing, always taking unexpected turns.

 

 

*****

 

 

They were expecting trouble, they knew there were enemies around the area; still, when it happened it surprised everyone. The journey so far had been uneventful, peaceful even. Had they become too relaxed in that peace? Whatever caused them to be ambushed doesn't matter now. It's the third day since they left Haven, a group of bandits attacked them as they crossed a narrow path, closing them in from the back and front. Eranen had improved her skills on face to face combat, but she was still vulnerable in these conditions. The fight was bloody, but they were victorious. The relief ran short in Solas' body as he saw Eranen's lying on the bloodied dirt. Again. Cassandra and Varric shouted alarmed at the sight, calling out her name likely expecting she would wake up, but she didn't even move a finger.

The mage took a deep breath; he knew what he must do, even though he _knew_ it would be the moment things would take a definite turn in all their lives. He tried asking, even though he had close to no hope it would have the result he wished for. "Please give us privacy so I can heal her." He said while he knelt beside the elven woman. Cassandra scoffed, then spoke as if offended.

"Are you mad, Solas? After what just happened you expect us to leave you two alone? I don't care what you have to do to heal her, but you're doing it with us here to protect you." The elft sighed. He expected this, and he couldn't blame the woman.

There wasn't much time, she had lost too much blood. He knew that the only way to fully heal her would be to enter her in a way his companions would never forgive him, so he had to try something less shocking, even though he knew it would still be. It wouldn't be enough, he was sure, but this would at least bring Eranen to consciousness. She would need to allow him to do it, otherwise he wasn't sure he could live with himself after the deed either. The world would be saved in the end, but his soul would be forever shattered with guilt.

After a deep breath, he quickly collects both his pack and Eranen's to use for support so he can recline her delicate body into a semi-sitting position. It wasn't as ideal as what he had done in his cabin, but it would suffice. There wasn't time to explain, he needed to act. Solas started untying the laces of his pants, and soon followed the startled gasp of the Seeker. "Solas, what are you doing?! She's dying!"

"I'm saving her, Seeker." Is all he could say to try and convince the woman to let him do this.

Next came Varric's voice in a warning tone. "That hardly looks like saving, Chuckles..." He couldn't break his concentration, he needed to act quickly. All this tension in front of these people wasn't making it easy on him; where usually he would find himself half-hard, this time he was completely limp. He could never have expected to be doing such act in front of others. Shame hit him like a heavy stone.

"Solas, stop this right now!" Cassandra says at the same time he hears the sound of the woman unsheathing her sword. He doesn't have time for this, he doesn't have time to explain. Eranen doesn't have time to wait for him to give an explanation. He tries to focus, but the situation doesn't help in the slightest. He feels the cold metal of her weapon under his chin, and hears her cold and threatening voice. "Stop. Or I _will_ arrest you." He doesn't have time, s _he_ doesn't have time. If she tries to stop him he'll have to resist, perhaps even fight back. He has enough power to face them, but the consequences wouldn't be easy to deal with.

"There's no time, Cassandra." He says while quickly moving Eranen's head so he can push inside her mouth. Cassandra and Varric gasp in unison, at the same time he feels his skin ripping open under his jaw. He knows he's not ready, but he hopes the small amount of precum would be enough to give this woman beside him some notion that this is necessary. He feels his blood flowing from his chin, the quick motion had almost impaled him on the Seeker's sword, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't take his mind from the woman connected to him at this moment.

"Wha-" The mage will likely never know what the warrior was about to say, because Eranen started glowing and Cassandra gasped in surprise, letting her sword drop. The Herald's wounds begin closing and that seems to give his companions pause.

He didn't want to do it this way, but right now he can't stop it. Solas starts moving his hips, slowly in and out of Eranen's mouth, never removing it or pushing too deep. He needs his seed to come out, but this act is wrong with an unconscious person and he refuses to violate her mouth more than he is already doing.

"Okay," Varric says in a desperate tone, "the world was crazy but now... Now... I don't even... I need a drink."

The Seeker is silent beside him, but unmoving; the sword is forgotten on the ground. He tries to focus so he can end this quick and try to give them an explanation. What would they do now that they know? What would Eranen think after she finds out? Because they would definitely tell her. _No... stop thinking... just get this over with._ He can feel the elf struggling on the edge of recovery and languishment; there's no other option. Solas pulls back enough to keep only the head in her mouth and grabs his cock with one hand while the other keeps her mouth still. Jerking fast, he tries to concentrate on getting it over. Relief floods him as he spills inside her mouth and she glows more intensely. Cassandra beside him lets out a "Maker!" and he quickly fixes his clothes. Eranen still isn't fully healed, but this should be enough for her to regain some consciousness. She should be safe for a few hours, before her body starts withering again.

 


	9. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas tells the others about the healing method he's been using on Eranen and procedes to heal the Herald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeello! Here is the chapter that will change everything for them! :D  
> I hope you like it! <3  
> Thank you very much for comments and kudos, it's amazing to see how this weird and messed up story is being fun for you all too! <3

"Solas, explain." Cassandra says while she picks up her sword. Solas looks at Varric a few feet away, looking shocked. If only the Seeker was simply surprised it would make him feel a little better, but she's furious. What to tell them?

"When I tried healing her and all my spells failed, I researched the Fade for answers. It was not easy, but I came across a ritual that would allow me to heal her."

"This... _ritual_... involves you violating her?" Cassandra is _very_ angry.

"I am not happy about this either, Seeker. It shames me and fills me with guilt; however, it is the only way to heal her. As you witnessed."

"All this time you have been doing this?" Varric asks exhasperatedly.

"No. At first I was merely giving her the... product of the act."

"Maker!" Cassandra exclaims while sitting down on a rock.

"So that's why you took her away when she was hurt in the training grounds." Varric says and he nods. "But if only the... product is enough Chuckles... why did you shove it in her mouth?"

"Depending on how serious the injury is, a more... direct approach is required." Cassandra exclaims again at his words, Solas begins worrying that the woman will pass out from shock. "What I just did is not enough for her current injuries, you must see that not all were healed, and should it remain untreated they will get worse with time."

"What is that supposed to mean? You'll have to do that again?" The Seeker asks and he shakes his head.

"Unfortunately that will not be enough." There is silence.

"This is so wrong." The dwarf says after a couple of minutes.

"It is, but there is no other way." Solas takes a deep breath.

"Does she know?" Cassandra asks.

"No." At that the woman's eyes go big. "My hope is that she will be conscious to give me her permission."

"Would you have done it with her unconscious?" Cassandra asks, shocked.

"Seeker, it is the **only** way to save her."

"And you're the only one who can do it?" Varric asks and Cassandra looks at him with wide eyes. "What? Wait you're not... Andraste's tits, Seeker! I'm just trying to make sense of all this!"

"Yes, Varric. I am the only one. I am afraid the ritual is too complex for me to teach another."

"So she's pretty much stuck with you for life." There is silence again.

"You know I will have to tell the others about this." Cassandra says after a while and he nods. "And you must tell her everything when she wakes up." She says more firmly.

"I will, of course." He wasn't expecting to need to reveal it so soon but if that is the turn life took there is no other way but tell her the truth. Or as close to it as he can.

 

 

*****

 

 

My back feels weird... where am I? Oh yeah... we were ambushed. "Herald!" Cassandra calls and the sudden noise startles me. There's something strange... oh right, Solas healed me again. I hope he's not mad, it's not like I could have done much to protect myself here. Everything is so sore... wasn't I completely healed this time?

"Ouch... my jaw hurts..." I say as I massage my face. "That damn bandit!" I sit up and notice I was reclining on my and Solas' bags. "Sorry... it seems I still have much to train. I'm sorry Solas, you had to heal me. I swear I don't do it on purpose." I notice everyone has weird faces on. "What's going on?"

"There is something I must tell you." Solas says but Varric interrupts him.

"Maybe you two should have this conversation in a private place. When we set up camp maybe?"

"That might be best, yes." The elf says, seeming a bit relieved. What's going on?

"What happened? You all look weird."

"You will understand soon." Cassandra says and we spend the rest of the way in silence.

When we finally stop for the day, Solas calls me to a spot away from the others. I frown but agree. This is so weird. He leads me to a place behind a few trees where he says we'll have some privacy. Is he planning on confessing or something? I never thought he would think of me this way. "What I have to tell you is delicate and important; I need you to listen carefully and to let me finish before you assume anything." Okay, that doesn't sound like confessing.

"Hmm. This sounds really serious."

"It is. Sit." He points to a rock and I hesitate a bit before complying. This must be really serious. "As you are Dalish, I assume you are familiar with the curse 'May the Dread Wolf take you.'" I nod. "What I assume you do not know is the origin of it." I tilt my head.

"No... no idea." What does it have to do with anything?

"I cannot say how you came to acquire it, the mark on your hand, but in my research in the Fade I discovered it is connected to that curse."

"Wait, you're saying I'm touched by Fen'Harel?"

"I asked you to let me finish."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"You know of him as a trickster, so I suppose this would make sense to you. There were people who once cursed would die, unable to be healed unless Fen'Harel aided them." I tilt my head.

"Wait, are you actually telling me Fen'Harel would curse people and I'm cursed?" He squints at me. "Right... I'll let you finish."

"It was a way for him to humiliate his enemies, and I discovered the only way to heal a cursed person is through an intimate act." Intimate act? What? "And unfortunately that is what you require." I see he takes a moment to observe me, and I wonder what he is expecting me to do. I'm not really sure I understand what he's telling me. "You remember I told you there is a ritual to produce the liquid which can heal you. What I did not tell you is what such ritual entails." Yes, you didn't. He takes a deep breath. "Your body will wither unless you receive my seed." Seed? You're no plant... wait, wait...

"What?"

"Let me finish." He can't be serious! "I could not tell you before in fear of your reaction, and I thought perhaps I could keep it a secret if I found a way to store it." He sighs. "What I did not predict was for you to require further... actions." He can't mean... "I had to do it when you were injured in the training grounds, and today. I-"

"Enough, Solas. I need you to be clear with me, you keep going in circles and it's confusing me. If I get this right you're telling me I've been drinking your..." I point to his crotch and he nods. I feel blood draining from my body. "You can't be serious!"

"I am."

"But... but... no, no, no, no... it can't be." I stand up and start pacing. I have been drinking his... his... oh Creators... "And you planned on keeping me in the dark? I had the **right** to know! This is... this... this is **wrong** , Solas!"

"It is, and I am sorry. If there was another way-"

"You should've told me!"

"We are better acquainted now, but how do you think you would have reacted if I had told you this when you first awoke?" I would probably think you a pervert... I sigh.

"Is that really the **only** way?" He nods. Damn it. I sit back down on the rock, suddenly with no strength left in my legs. "Why... why did you decide to tell me now?"

"The others saw it." I feel like I just got a punch in my stomach. "They refused to give us privacy, you would perish and I needed to be quick..." That must have been mortifying...

"So you just..." I do a jerking motion with my hand, "with them watching?"

"Not entirely..." I tilt my head and he takes a deep breath. "Do you mind if I sit?" I shrug.

"Suit yourself." He sits beside me, keeping a small distance as much as the rock would allow.

"Your condition was more critical, I am sure you noticed you are still injured. When you were hurt in the training grounds you had a very serious head injury, simply drinking the... fluid would not suffice. I apologize, but I had to... insert it in your mouth." Oh... Creators... I cover my face in shame. I had his... thing... in my mouth... "As I did today." My head snaps his way, he is looking to the ground. I don't know if I feel bad for him or angry at him. This situation is absurd. I've been... violated without even knowing but he is completely ashamed of it. And the others _saw_ him do it.

"I honestly don't know who got the worst part of this curse..."

"That is not all." What can be worse? "You still require healing." Right... Oh gods!

"So... what happens now?"

"For the extent of your injuries there are two options." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "You can either receive me in your mouth two more times or..." he sighs and my eyes are huge at this point, "or lay with me once." Oh my... this is... this... oh no... I let my face fall on my hands. "And I fear you must decide quickly because your cuts are reopening."

"Creators... I... Solas this is... insane..." I look at my arm where a cut is indeed reopening. "Damn Fen'Harel! And how in the void was I cursed by him? I didn't do anything!"

"Unfortunately that is an answer I cannot give you." I rub my face then sigh.

"I... I have never done any of that before, Solas..." I confess.

"I am sorry for taking your choice from you." I take a deep breath, and when I look at him I see he is very conflicted, almost sad if I can read him right. He definitely doesn't enjoy this nonsense. What should I choose? I never thought I would be in a situation like this. "Damn you Fen'Harel, wherever you are I hope you suffer!"

"Do you think him evil now?"

"I don't know what he is but fair is something he is not! If only I could meet him to spit on his face! Look at us! This is ridiculous, Solas!"

"Indeed." My arm then starts bleeding. Shit. "I am loathe to press but-"

"I know..." Damn this. I don't know what to do... "I don't know what to choose, Solas... to me both are firsts... and this is so awkward..."

"I cannot choose for you. It is too personal." Oh well... I take a deep breath.

"Let's uh... start simple? Do you mind?"

"Of course. I will do whatever you ask." He must be feeling really guilty...

"Maybe er... we should go to the river..." If I'm doing this then we need to clean up first.

"Let us warn the others first." He stands up and I follow. "I think it would be best to keep the specifics from the others. And about Fen'Harel."

"Heh, can you imagine Cassandra's face if I told her what she thinks is Andraste's blessing is actually Fen'Harel's curse? Yeah I'm keeping quiet about it."

We find the others sitting around the campfire, they look at us with really weird faces. "Did you tell her?" Cassandra asks when we're close enough.

"He did." I say. "This is absurd..." I sigh.

"Completely crazy, Silver... I got no idea how you are feeling about this."

"Like I just got played in the worst way possible." Shit, it's starting to hurt. "I uh... have to go get healed so... Creators this is so weird..." I look to the ground, suddenly interested in the pebbles.

"We are going to the river." Solas adds and I hear Cassandra's sigh.

"Be careful." Varric says and we leave. Before we're completely out of earshot I hear him asking the woman "Can you believe this, Seeker?"

 

The river shines with the rising moon and it would actually be a very romantic place... if this wasn't so messed up. I turn to look at Solas beside me and I notice his worried expression analyzing my bleeding arms and belly. Well, at least he is good looking... this could be much worse. "Well... uh... let's clean up before we do anything." He nods and starts removing his clothes. Yeah... we're doing this, oh gods. I look at my bleeding body and after a deep breath I start removing my clothes too. I notice Solas isn't looking at me, but now that I see his body I can't stop looking at him. He is astoundingly beautiful. Who would've thought that under those simple clothes lay such a work of art? Damn... I guess I should thank Fen'Harel after all, he just got me a really nice man. Nobody I ever met was this handsome.

I avoid looking at the area of his hips while I step into the water, which I'm happily surprised it's not as cold as I expected. He follows me to a deeper spot, and I notice he still keeps his eyes away from my body. I wonder if I got enough time to properly get used to this idea before my body really starts trying to kill me. I move closer to a rock so the current is not trying to take me down the river and I start removing the dry blood and dirt from my body. I'm startled when I feel a slight heating around me and I notice Solas just cast a rune. That's so handy. "This should make it more comfortable."

"Thank you, Solas." I say, and I'm suddenly feeling shy at his closeness.

"You never told me what you intend on doing." He says as he lowers himself to clean up, still not looking at me.

"I... I'm not really sure. I just wanted us to be clean if we're doing anything."

"If that was the reason for coming here you could have simply asked me to cast a spell on us." Oh? He can do that?

"I didn't know there was a spell for that."

"I... discovered it some years ago in the Fade. It makes travelling much simpler." I laugh.

"Yeah, I can imagine. You know so much from the Fade, I never expected it to be so full of knowledge."

"It is. As long as even a single spirit witnessed an event it can be found there."

"Shit." The wounds are opening further.

"We need to start soon. What do you wish to do?"

"I don't know!" My upset tone seems to shake him, and he looks at me startled.

"I am sorry, it was not my intention to upset you."

"I know, Solas. It's just... damn..." I feel tears in my eyes and I close them, only to feel his warm body against mine a few seconds later. He envelops me in his arms and I feel comforted despite our state of undress.

"Shh. I apologize. Calm down, I will not force you." He pulls me closer and my head rests against his shoulder while one of his hand starts caressing my hair. The other stays around my shoulders. "I have an idea which can give you time for a decision."

"What is it?" I say with a muffled voice against his skin. He smells so good.

"You can... explore my body, and as you get more comfortable with how it is done it... may be easier for you to accept... me." I guess that makes sense.

"I... guess we can try that... before you're forced to do something..." This shit is getting serious. He lets go of me and we walk out of the river to a spot with grass. He uses his tunic to cover it and sits down. And even though I really tried not to look my eyes ended up seeing his hips. Oh gods... and he is... hard. I'm really unsure, this situation is so absurd, but my wounds are hurting and I know it'll get worse soon if what happened that night at the tavern is anything to go by. I take a deep breath and approach him, who is finally looking at me; but I notice he is looking at my face and not my body. "How... what..."

"Sit." Oh well... I sit on my ankles and he offers me his hand. "Give me your hand." I swallow hard and place it on his. He gently brings my hand to his chest and I feel my heart starting to beat even faster. Solas removes his hands and gives me free rein. "Explore." He is so warm despite the cold air, despite the cold water we just came out of. His heart is hammering inside his chest. I swallow again and take a really deep breath before starting to move my hand, caressing his smooth skin. He is so pale, but so beautiful. "Take it lower." He says as he reclines on his elbows. I'm really unsure about all this, but it's better than outright jumping into something I got no idea how to do. My hand runs down to his toned belly as I think about how this is so absurd. If someone had told me when I woke up in that dungeon that I would be here doing this so I could be healed, I would have called them insane. "Lower." Damn... the only time I saw a penis it was a child's. This looks _nothing_ like it. He is hard, there are many pulsing veins stretching the skin and even in this faint light I can see the... head is quite... pink against his belly. I swallow again with a deep breath, and I find myself licking my lips. Do I wish to touch it? I... guess I do... looking at it now it almost calls for me. I move my hand slowly and before I can even touch it it twiches a little, making my hand return in reflex. "Touch it." His voice is rougher than before, and it almost distracts me from the pain in my wounds. I slide my hand to his shaft, and I'm surprised by how hot it is, and it's... throbbing under my hand. "Hold it." He says almost as a whisper and as unsure as I am, I obbey. It feels weird, it's so firm yet smooth, it's so... foreign; but for some reason it also makes my body feel warmer. He is big and I can barely close my fingers around him. To think the only thing that can heal me comes from this curious thing in my hand. I don't really know what to think about it. It has a beauty in its own way, and the more I look at it the more it calls for me. I start rubbing my hand along the length, and I hear a sharp intake of breath as I do so. When my mother taught me about the male body she never really gave me details; the girls in the clan would be so excited about getting to know the boys but I never felt interested in that. I wanted to become a better rogue so I could defend the clan from the shadows. The shadows and the blades always called for me, the men didn't.

As Solas' breathing becomes more laboured I notice my body is also much warmer, I didn't expect for this exploration of his body to turn me on. Shouldn't I be shy about this? Why am I wanting him to touch me now? 'Wicked woman.' Some people in the clan who couldn't understand my beliefs in the Creators would call me wicked, and some of them would even say my forwardness about Fen'Harel would bring him to me. 'Don't let the Dread Wolf catch your scent.' Somewhere along my life he did, because now I find myself pleasuring a man I hardly know just so I can have his... seed heal me. A tasteless joke from the trickster. I notice something wet pooling at the tip, and instead of making me disgusted it makes me want to touch it. Is that what I need to heal me? "Solas..." I call, uncertain.

"Yes?" He answers so breathlessly that I swallow, feeling my veins suddenly burning.

"There's something... wet... is it...?"

"You can drink it if you want. It will halt your injury's progress somewhat, but it is not what you need." He explains, but I notice in the rhythm of his voice that it's hard for him to speak. I can... drink it. Well... if it'll halt this pain...

I don't stop rubbing, I take my other hand to it and collect the liquid with my finger. It's warm and not as sticky as that thing he gave me in his cabin. I open my mouth and taste it on my tongue. It's definitely different, but it has an effect: I see myself glowing slightly and the pain fades along with closing the wounds a little. Creators... this is so weird. Solas' hand suddenly stops mine. "I am close. Take your mouth to it." I don't know if I feel hot or cold at his words. He is close... which means I'm pleasuring him enough for him to... spill it. And he wants me to put my mouth around him, to... drink straight from the source.

"I..."

"Close your eyes, Eranen." His voice is rough, his breath is ragged, but he still sounds so gentle. I close my eyes and then I feel his hand on my head, gently pulling me down. I smell him before my mouth touches the hot and wet head. The scent of him so strong mixed with something else that makes me want him flushed against me. What is this feeling? It's so different, the sensation of his member against my lips, I can't really compare it to anything else. He doesn't force me down, and I find myself licking my lips, tasting again the curious substance. "Open your mouth, take it in." Oh gods... I obey, and it's _so_ awkward. There is a different taste of skin, and he is so hot, and I can feel the veins pulsing against my tongue. "Suck it." Suck it? How? My hand is still being held in place by his, and his other hand doesn't push me, he allows me time. In my attempt to swallow again I end up closing my teeth on him a little, and I attempt to remove my mouth to apologize, but he keeps me in there. "Do not worry, suck it. Move your tongue." Move my tongue? Alright... I rub my tongue back and forth as much as possible, and I hear his loud breathing. He likes this. And I find myself enjoying his sounds. "Continue." He says with clear difficulty and I continue moving my tongue, feeling him hard, hot and pulsing inside my mouth. I can taste more of the strange liquid, and my body also feels much hotter. Then I feel something salty and sticky on my tongue at the same time I hear a gasp from his lips. I open my eyes and I'm a bit shocked to see how close I am to his hips, but it also makes me want to continue this. I guess I am wicked after all. It's hard to swallow it, it's too sticky and I feel like I'm going to choke, but I don't. His hand on my hair caresses me and pulls me away from his member, which falls still half-hard against his belly as he also removes my hand from it. In a couple of seconds I'm glowing stronger and the cuts are closing, but not all. As he said, having him in my mouth once would not be enough. "Do you feel better?" He asks after a while recovering his breath.

"Yes." I say as I admire his body. I should be ashamed but I can't find it in me. "But uh... as you said, I'm not fully healed."

"Unfortunately." I laugh despite it all.

"I guess your end of this curse isn't so bad after all... you get to... you know... have pleasure." I notice him blushing and his eyes getting bigger.

"Do not think I do this on purpose, if I could have another way I-"

"I know, Solas. If it was on purpose you would have people hurting me, and you definitely wouldn't almost beg me not to injure myself... or be guilty when telling me about it... or... be so nice with all of this."

"I imagine how this must be difficult for you and I do not wish to make it worse."

"And I guess you couldn't have made it better actually..." I chuckle a bit embarrassed.

"Is that so?" His tone is slightly different and I wonder if I made him feel less guilty.

"You know I have never done any of this so... the emotions are also new." Let's just be open about it all... I guess it'll be easier. As mortifying as it is, if I'll depend on him to be healed then I guess I should trust him...

"What do you feel? I mean, if you are willing to share it with me." I look to the grass not so far from us.

"I feel... hot... and..." I take a deep breath, "I want you to touch me too." I hear his sharp breathing. "My heart feels like it will jump out of my chest..." I lower my head, ashamed, and close my eyes. "There's something wrong with me, isn't there?" I shouldn't feel this with him who I barely know, who is only doing this with me to save me. I feel his hand on mine and my eyes snap open to look at his face.

"Eranen, there is nothing wrong with you. It only shows you are a healthy woman with her own desires." His expression is so gentle I feel my heart skip a beat. "This act is an intimate one, and it is normal to feel the way you do after it." He gives me a small but so gentle smile. "If you like, I could return the attention and... show you how you should feel in this situation." That's not something someone would say with that face. And gods I'm blushing so profusely! Fen'Harel be damned I want this man to touch me now.

"I er... I'd like that." I notice the moment his expression shifts to one full of desire and I imagine that was the look he had on his face while I was touching him. He takes a deep breath and sits up, then moves to the other side of his tunic, facing me.

"Lay down." Oh... alright. I do, and I feel completely vulnerable. No way I would be here doing this if he wasn't trying to heal me. "Do you trust me?" How can I _not_ after all that has happened? I nod. "Relax." He says as he moves over me, his legs on both sides of my body. I can feel his member sitting on my belly as he lowers himself, and I'm suddenly _very_ tense. "If you change your mind simply tell me to stop."

"O...okay." He starts running his hands on my neck, slowly and gently, making me feel a different kind of ticklish. My breath becomes heavier as he moves his hands down to my shoulders, rubbing it slightly and softening the sore muscles. I end up letting out a low moan and it makes me blush immediately. "Sorry."

"Relax, do not worry about your reactions. Let yourself feel and express freely." And he continues to rub my shoulders. Then after a couple of minutes he slides his hands down to my collarbones, and his touch so close to my breasts causes in me a mixture of anticipation and shame. The latter disappearing completely as his hands rub the small peaks on my chest. It feels good, it's comforting and yet tantalizing. My blood runs hotter and my breathing becomes more labored. I don't know what I expected, but this was not it. I have felt pain from my breasts, but never pleasure. And the moment his hands rub on my nipples I feel such a powerful jolt across my entire body that I shake under him. He doesn't stop, he does it again, and as he continues I feel some sensation growing in intensity throughout my belly to my hips. It's not long until I'm making some awkward noises, that I only don't do my best to hold back because he told me not to. And it's weird but... I'm sure I feel something down between my legs that is not my monthly blood. Is it because of what he is doing? I thought I felt something when I was touching him but it's increasing now and it's so obviously there.

I think he's going to drive me crazy with his touch, but he moves down to my ribs, then my stomach. He lingers a bit when he reaches my hipbones and for some reason it makes me feel so hot. Anticipation maybe? I find myself tightening my thighs and I feel something just _so good_. I gasp at this new sensation and keep tightening my thighs together until Solas' hand touches my mound. I'm startled by his touch. I guess I should have expected him to touch me more intimately but I'm still surprised. I thought he would touch me lower but he moves his hands to my thighs then, spreading them a little. "Relax. Do not move them." Damn... that was feeling good. And then he rubs my legs, from my knees to my butt, then around and into my inner thighs. All his touching by this point has me almost panting, and I feel like my veins are on fire. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please don't." I see that he is as surprised at my words as I am. Then from my thigh he slides his hand up to my mound again, only to have his finger slip inside my folds. I gasp. This is a completely new sensation for me, I don't know what to make of it. And the way he moves so freely, sliding effortlessly down there... it feels so foreign and so good... so right. I notice that my breathing is ragged and that sounds want to come out from my throat. Solas told me to be free with my reactions so I let them come out, and I find myself panting and calling his name. This is so weird, so awkward. And everything is pleasurable until he slides his fingers in me. I wince at the slight burning sensation and he stops pushing further inside, he goes back to rubbing; making me moan again. This time he continues until I'm trembling under his body. I'm assaulted by a feeling I've never felt before, and the sound that leaves my mouth is so... telling. There are contractions in a place I didn't even know could do that, and so much energy flowing through my muscles... and my mind seems to disconect for a second. And it is so... amazing. "What... what was that?"

"The climax of a sexual act." I've heard of it but... no wonder people like it so much. I see he is very flushed, and as my eyes check all of him I see he is very hard again. I swallow at the sight. "What do you wish to do now?"

"I... don't know..." I find myself wanting so many things right now... things I don't even know what they could be. "I don't know what I want." He chuckles and I'm surprised by the sound. "Do you... uh... have any suggestions?"

"You could repeat what you did a while ago." I guess I could... that would be enough to heal everything, right?

"I... guess so." And then as he sits down in front of me I find myself sitting up. "Should I just... hold it and suck it?"

"Yes." And I grab it, feeling it so hard and hot once again. I notice it's very wet with that liquid and I run my tongue on the head, only to hear a sharp intake of breath from Solas' mouth. Then as I move my hand I let him inside my mouth, starting to suck him again. It's so weird to be doing this again, and I don't know why but I find myself enjoying this. Having him in my mouth for some reason feels right. I wonder if the curse has anything to do with it. Is the ritual that allows him to heal me also binding him to me? No... I don't think so because before I did this nothing had changed between us. And as he said, he was already in my mouth once. I feel very hot at my thoughts, and it's something I'm not really comfortable with. I still think I should be feeling bad about all of this, but I'm not. His hand brushes my hair and breaks my line of thought. He is so gentle in this moment, and I really appreciate it. He understands this is not something I'm used to, that it's something that even makes me feel... uncomfortable, as much as I seem to be enjoying it now. I really couldn't have a better person to be in this mess with me. And then I feel his seed in my mouth once again, a little less sticky this time, but still so effective. The pain is gone from places I haven't even noticed was hurting before, I feel... new. He pulls my head away from his hips and I watch his flushed face. He looks so... cute.

I straighten myself, trying to ignore the throbbing between my legs. "Uh... all healed now it seems."

"You are." And we fall into an uncomfortable silence. "We should return to camp."

"Yes... we should." I get up and walk towards my clothes so I can dress again. I notice him going inside the river once more, and I wonder why he didn't simply cast his spell. Well... maybe he likes the cold water.

After we're ready we make our way back to the others.

 


	10. Crossroads.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lingering thoughts on the way to the Crossroads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here is another chapter and I hope you like it! :D  
> Thank you all very much for kudos and comments. <3

Solas makes his way back to camp torturing himself with guilty thoughts. From the start this was wrong, but to find himself sucking his finger that had touched her was the last drop to make him loathe himself. He was arguing internally since he brought her to climax, he wanted to taste her, but it was wrong to do so.

When he suggested that she allowed him to touch her he was simply willing to lift some of the burden he had caused on her with his safeguard. She didn't deserve to be forever linked to him in this way. But as she showed him how she could enjoy it as well, it lit his darkest desires. He wished to taste her, to feel her writhing under his mouth as he moved his tongue on her most intimate spot, but he couldn't ask it of her. They were only in that situation because she needed healing. It was never about pleasure, it was never about desires, it was only for her health. But when she turned to put back her clothes he couldn't hold himself. He sucked his finger clean, enjoying how good the taste of her was, and how his body quickly heated up again. He could take her over and over until morning, but that was a thought he couldn't allow in his mind, and so he went into the river once more, and this time he didn't cast any rune.

Her form walking in front of him only made it harder for him to think. The sway of her hips, the very hips that were under his hands a few minutes ago, made him hot again. He couldn't have this happening to him. It was wrong. He is too old to let his body's desires win over him this way. He knows better. She isn't even one of the People. She lacks the very thing that would make her elvhen. He cannot let this continue on this route. He will heal her when she needs it, and it will not go anywhere further. He cannot avoid feeling pleasure, but he will not crave her.

When they arrive at camp, the Seeker and the dwarf are flushed and awkward at their approach. It is clear they want to say something but don't know how to form the words. Solas doesn't want to explain anything, so he continues quiet. Eranen seems to share this and simply sits down after getting her portion of food. It feels like hours before Varric speaks. "So, Herald, are you healed now?" The poor woman almost chokes on her food.

"Yes." She says, completely red. Her flushed skin reminds him of her face when he was touching her and Solas tries his best to get rid of the thought.

Another awkward silence fills the camp and when the mage is finally done eating, he makes his way into the tent he shares with Varric. He is aroused despite it all, despite arguing with himself that he shouldn't think about her this way. _But I won't go that low._ He refuses to touch himself and meditates towards the Fade, where a desire demon soon finds him.

 

 

*****

 

 

I don't know how to act, I don't know what to say. Should I even say anything? The way they look at me... they want to know something. I don't think I have it in me to answer. I should just focus on eating and going to sleep. "So, Herald, are you healed now?" I almost choke. Damn you, Varric!

"Yes." Gods... I can't stop thinking about what just happened, I don't need a reminder. My body is still so hot... I don't know how to fix this. Will it go away with time? Nobody says anything anymore, and I can see Solas is very tense. I know he doesn't like the situation we're in. I'm a stranger after all, and having to do that with me to heal me is so wrong. I bet he feels as violated as I do. It's not long before he stands up and goes inside his tent. I guess I should do the same soon... before one of the others gather enough courage to ask me more weird questions.

When I lay down at my bedroll I feel weird, it's like I'm still laying on his tunic, feeling the weight of his body over mine. Creators... should this be happening? I try to fall asleep but at some point I find my hand inside my pants. What am I doing?! I remove my hand immediately. No, I'm not doing this. I don't even know how to touch myself as he did. I turn to the side and start counting numbers to sleep.

Morning is still awkward, and it doesn't improve along the day. "So, Herald," Varric says and I wince, "how does it feel to be stuck with Solas for life?"

"Er..." I try not to look at the elf while I speak "I don't know... he is nice at least..." The dwarf snickers.

"Yeah, I suppose it could be worse. But the way he heals you... girl, that is something I never thought could exist."

"Me neither..." And then we fall into more awkward silence.

 

Thankfully we don't come across any more enemies, but the days don't go by any easier. I'm lost in thoughts about what I have learned from Solas, and my body keeps reminding me of his touch and craving more of it. I notice he is still quite tense, but he doesn't comment on the topic and neither do I. The others sometimes try to engage in conversation but most of the times they only get a reply if the subject is about the mages and templars. What to expect of the Chantry Mother is something that seems to be on everyone's mind despite everything.

When we get to the scout's camp I'm shocked by the sight of the village down the cliffs. There is just so much destruction. And so many bodies. Creators, what are these people thinking? Is this what true war is like? The lead scout comes talk to us, Lace Harding; she's a very nice dwarf and Varric seems unable to resist a bad joke. "Harding, huh? Ever been to Kirkwal's Hightown?"

"Can't say I have. Why?"

"You'd be Harding in- oh nevermind." Cassandra seems disgusted by it and I don't really know what to think about it. Maybe he's trying too hard. Well, at least he's not focusing on me and Solas.

After telling us what the situation is and that if we could we should help reach the Master of horses named Dennet, we head down to the village, with the warning that there are still mages and templars fighting nearby. And it's not long before we are caught in the fire between the two groups. Solas' barrier this time is able to protect me from all damage and we make it successfully to our destination after defeating everyone.

Walking through what remains of the village is heartbreaking; there are just so many injured and distressed people. I hear them worrying about food, about their safety, about people they've lost. It's too sad and I hope we can do something about this. As much as I hate the way shems treat elves and sometimes even themselves, nobody should go through this.

A soldier points us to the direction of Mother Giselle and I'm surprised by what I find: the woman is trying to convince a man to let a mage healer help him. From everything I've heard about the Chantry this is new to me. Talking to the woman is both tiresome and soothing, which in the end proves to be much better than what I had expected from this encounter. She tells me she has contacts in Val Royeaux and could put together a group of Mothers willing to meet with us, which according to her should be enough to put some doubt in their hearts so they can do what's right instead of spreading chaos and fear among people. I still don't like the Chantry one bit, but if this helps, then I'll do it. The woman agrees to go to Haven to help people over there, now that the Inquisition can help the villagers and refugees here.

In order to help the people we go talk to a Corporal Vale, who tells us about the general state of the area and asks us to do a few things. If only said few didn't include going around so much... Was the Inquisition so strained that they couldn't even feed people? So now, before we head to Master Dennet, we have some tasks to do: find a healer skilled enough to help everyone here, hunt enough so they could feed people, stop bandits targeting refugees, stop the mad mages and templars and try to find supplies to help with the cold. I honestly don't know what cold they're talking about, because compared to Haven this is nothing, but if they're cold, then they deserve some warm blankets.

There are plenty of animals to hunt on the hills so we head out there first. I work better from stealth, but they argue that I shouldn't move alone since there are too many threats in the area and I'm... problematic to heal. In the end they agree to let Varric accompany me since he could also sneak around. Solas doesn't seem to be pleased with it, though. I bet he's worried that he'll have to heal me again. I've met and heard about men who would find his position amazing, but he doesn't seem to be the type. If anything he seems to hate what he has to do to heal me. I wonder if he prefers men...

Of course I shouldn't be thinking about this kind of thing, but it's been very difficult for me to keep anything related to this topic out of my mind. And the worse is that once I start thinking about it I immediately remember his touch on my body. Thinking about these things is so distracting that I almost miss the moment to strike the ram passing down by the tree from where I was watching it. Almost. Holding my breath I jump down from the branch, landing over the horned animal and with a quick and clean slice its life slips away from the body. Death should be swift and painless whenever possible, specially if it's a sacrifice so others can continue on living. From a few meters away I see Varric approaching with his own kill. "Nice strike, Silver. Got to admit it's the first time I see someone hunt like you do."

"The daggers are almost an extension of my body at this point, Varric."

"I can see that. Just remember not to shake my hands with it, uh?" I chuckle with a shake of my head.

"Don't worry, I know when to use them."

The animal is quite heavy, but I manage to carry it back to the village. A few minutes later Solas arrives with Cassandra with two more rams and three fennecs. The rams on their shoulders and the fennecs on their belts. I think this should be enough for a week or more, and until then we'll probably have cleaned the area enough so they can hunt on their own.

Solas approaches me when the others are a few meters away and asks with a low voice "Have you injured yourself?"

"No, not even a scratch, don't worry." I say with a smile. He indeed seems relieved. My body not so much, though. I wish he had never awakened this side of me.

We go back to the scout's camp for the night and we eat listening to Varric's tales of his journey with the Champion of Kirkwall. The scouts seem pretty content with the distraction, but nothing he says is enough to quench the heat building in my body. What is happening to me? I hope sleeping will get rid of it so when I'm ready I go straight for my tent. Unfortunately it's no different from the past days; it takes me many agonizing minutes to finally fall asleep.

 

 

*****

 

 

Her distress hasn't gone unnoticed by Solas, who is just as perturbed. He can't tell, however, if the reason for the discomfort is the same as his. Days have passed and he still cannot remove the memory of her taste on his tongue from his mind. And often he would desire more of it. Much more often he would desire seeing her writhing under his body once again. Of course he chastises himself whenever it happens, he has no right to feel this way. She is not one of his people, she is merely the one who has his Anchor. The Anchor which stubbornly refuses to leave her hand. He has been too long without intimacy, these awkward encounters don't count for anything, don't mean anything; that is what he keeps telling himself. However, apparently his body disagrees, only wanting more and more of it. He will not indulge in this primal need. He is wise, he is old, he is patient and he will endure. But oh how he longs for it.

Eranen is tense whenever he is nearby, and often he catches her lost in thoughts, and apparently suffering from something unknown. He worries about what his revelation might trigger in her. She has so far proven to be different from the Dalish he had previously encountered, and her beliefs and behaviors are clearly unique; but her situation doesn't make it any easier on her. Being tied to someone she barely knows surely is conflicting in her mind, perhaps even hurts her spirit. Dalish were raised to believe they should never bow or serve anyone -and they really shouldn't, but now she is bound to him. For life.

When she left to hunt he was worried she would injure herself, considering that despite her training she had been quite fragile whenever she engaged in combat. It was not part of his safeguard, but he wonders if the Anchor somehow makes her weaker. From everything she says she sounds like a skilled assassin, but in practice she hasn't been as efficient. Her movements in battle are swift and precise, but her attacks lack the necessary strength to be effective. He was relieved when she told him she wasn't even scratched after the hunt; It would be one less burden on her spirit. Being intimate with someone she didn't want was wrong, specially when he had fought for so many centuries to free his people from this kind of servitude. Of course she wasn't serving him, she was doing merely a ritual to heal her injuries, but it was wrong all the same.

Watching her eat her dinner lost in thoughts while her body was clearly uncomfortable hit at his conscience hard. Everyone else seemed to be paying attention to Varric's tale but her, and now him who was analyzing her. She was always contained even under stress, so it was difficult to properly read her body language; even so young she was skilled. He could notice something was deeply bothering her, but not what or how exactly it affected her. He wished he could ask, that he could help, but feared his approach would make her retreat further. He anticipated this, that revealing the truth would take her away from him, but in times like these it proved a problem. She wasn't foolish, though; if she needed his help she would come to him, that he knew. It didn't surprise him when she disappeared to get ready for sleep after her dinner and retired into the tent without greeting anybody. It wasn't long before he did the same, and it was a relief to realize the desire demon had yet to return to haunt him.

 

The morning surprised him in a way he thought it wasn't possible. The elven woman was slicing vegetables on an unsteady tablet. Was she tempting fate? "What are you doing?" He asked her, making sure not to startle her so no accident would come of his inquiry.

"Helping." _Damn her and her wish to help the community_. If her condition wasn't so special he would admire this trait in her, but because of the way things are he can't think of it as anything else but troubling.

"You know that tablet is unsteady, you could injury yourself."

"I'm used to this, don't worry." She says calmly as she focuses on the quick chops onto the wood. He notices she's still tense behind the walls she has raised. Thinking best to leave her to her task instead of distracting her and causing the very thing he fears, Solas walks away to check on the potions he had left filtering overnight.

Over and over something would happen that would make his heart skip a beat with worry: one of the birds from Leliana which flew low over her head, a nug which fled from the cage, a tremble on the very tablet she was working on, but nothing made her injury herself. When she was finally done and handed her chopped vegetables to the cook he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. That was short-lived, because a mug someone seemed to have neglected to collect the night before has the Herald tripping over and falling on the ground before his reflexes summoned a barrier to protect her. Such a simple bruise that in any other person would mean nothing, in her body could mean her death if not treated. He rushes to her side to help her up.

"Don't worry, Solas, it's just a scra- shit..." Realization dawns in her eyes as her expression turns sad. "I'm sorry, Solas." _She's sorry... for my sake?_

"I thought you would hurt yourself with those vegetables... who would have thought the culprit would be a mug." He tries to soothe her worries, but it doesn't seem to do much. "Thankfully it is a small bruise, it shall be easily healed."

"Still... you..." she sighs, "I'm really sorry I'm forcing you to do that."

"I imagine it is worse for you to receive it." She turns red and snickers, after opening her mouth as if to say something she quickly closes it again and shakes her head. "It will be a moment, do try not to get injured further." He moves to go into his tent but her hand holds his elbow, then immediately retreats.

"I uh... don't you need me there?" He tilts his head then realizes what she means.

"No. It is a simple bruise, I will give it to you on a spoon like that time."

"Oh, alright." Solas isn't sure, and he attributes it to his pride so he can try to ignore it, but he thinks for a moment that she seems disappointed. "I'll uh... wait here then."

Solas partially wishes she would be forward about her thoughts, but fears what they could be. He goes inside his tent and prepares the bowl and spoon he'll need for the 'ritual' and sits down on his bedroll to concentrate on his task. Having spent the past days thinking about her, as much as he tried not to, made it fairly easy for him to start the process, but it also made his thoughts about her body intensify. His desire was teasing him, clouding his judgment, and he decided that just this once he would do it thinking of her, because it would make things faster, better. _What's the harm?_

As he touches his hardening shaft he remembers her smooth and hot skin, how her body reacted so well to his touch; the sight of her flushed face as he showed her how he could make her feel good. He was her first, he would cherish that and give her the best pleasure she would never find in any other man. He remembers her sounds of pleasure of which she was so embarrassed of; such beautiful sounds, they were music to his ears; her adorable and tiny nipples, so hard as he kissed and squeezed the soft skin around them. She was toned, but it didn't affect her femininity, the smoothness of her skin. The memory of how he felt when touching her soft and short curls as he moved to explore her lights the fire in him once again, making him wish he could taste her directly from the source. He remembers the taste on his finger, the taste he was not supposed to discover, but that his desire convinced him he should, and so he did. He imagines what it would feel like to run his tongue where his fingers had been, to lick her clean while having her trembling under him. And as he is so close to his climax he remembers the sound she made when she reached hers, and he wishes he could hear that once again. With a groan he spills inside the bowl, and just as the rush leaves his body he is filled by shame, by guilt. Those are thoughts he shouldn't have, yet he just encouraged his traitorous mind.

Despite everything, he knows he cannot waste time chastising himself, Eranen is outside and needs his seed to heal her bruises. Solas takes a deep breath and concentrates on clearing his mind so he can properly transfer every drop to the spoon. After all is ready and his clothes fixed, he leaves the tent, only to almost bump into Varric passing by. The dwarf looks at the spoon on his hand and the elf can tell the exact moment realization is shown in the rogue's face. Solas doesn't know if this is more embarrassing than the day he had to public heal the Herald, but if it isn't, it is fairly close. The mage clears his throat and makes his way to Eranen, who is flushed at the sight of him. "Um... thank you, Solas." She says in a low voice as she takes the spoon from him. He sees the way she looks around for Varric and Cassandra, but then shakes her head and takes the spoon into her mouth. Her beautiful lips closing around it makes his blood run hot once again. He remembers how it closed around his throbbing cock and how good it felt. _Damn these thoughts!_

The sight of her glowing skin attracts the attention of the nearby scouts, but she doesn't seem to mind it. What he notices in her makes him troubled, however: she is savouring his seed. Could it be his imagination? This is very much alike that time in his cabin; no, it isn't his imagination. But why would she do this?

"And there she is, bright and new!" Varric comments, breaking his moment. In a sense, Solas is thankful for the interruption. "You're a life saver, Chuckles!"

"That he is." The Herald says but he sees she's still embarrassed. She is becoming even more of a mystery to him.

 


	11. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When desire forces the truth to come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) Here is another chapter, I hope you like it!  
> Thanks for comments and kudos, they make my day! <3  
> Don't be shy to comment if you want to, I would love to know what you think about this messed up story :3 I know I love it and I'm having so much fun with it xD

I know I shouldn't be acting this way, but I don't know how to stop it. My body hasn't gotten any better since that night, it still burns and aches and _throbs_ whenever I look or think about Solas, being near him is like torture. I want more of what he made me feel. And to taste his... seed... gods, I hope he didn't notice that I was actually enjoying it in my mouth.

We have important tasks to do, and I should focus on them, and I try. I do. I really do... but whenever I see his hands I remember his touch, whenever he makes a sound of effort I remember his sounds of pleasure. I'm going insane. We're fighting bandits, his barrier is always active on me, and more than once he put himself between me and the strike that would've injured me. He really worries for my safety, he really doesn't want to heal me. Obviously I don't want to be hurt either, but what other excuse do I have to have him touch me again? Wait... do I _need_ an excuse? Well, I _could_ just go to him and tell him how I feel. Of course that would be extremely awkward, and inappropriate. He only did that as courtesy, to try to make it up to me after being forced to heal me in an absurd way. There is nothing between him and me, not even a physical relationship. I doubt we even account as friends yet.

All this thinking almost gets me inside a hole, but Varric holds me before I could fall. "Everything alright, Silver? Your head seems to be on the clouds."

"Heh... sorry, it's just... too many things happening lately."

"Oh, right. I imagine it's hard for you, I don't know how you haven't broken yet."

"I suppose I don't have the luxury to break, I have a hole in the sky to close."

"Just be careful not to fall in holes in the ground too, okay?" He winks and I snicker.

"Yeah, thanks for that."

We continue on the way to the rifts the scouts have spotted, occasionally fighting mages and templars who refuse to listen to our offers of peace. They really just want to kill each other without a care for whoever gets in the way. When we come across a widow who has lost her husband because the templars thought he was a mage, it just makes my blood boil with anger. The fact these people were elves only makes me feel worse. When we find the culprits I gladly kill them, taking the ring from the man's still warm finger so I could return to the widow. She's relieved justice has been served at least.

I don't like these moments when we stop, because it gives me time to mull over my body's increasing desire. While Cassandra and Varric seemed to have fallen back into their routine and prepare lunch without worries, I'm going mad. I notice Solas is quiet, he's always quiet lately. More than usual, that is. I need a cold bath, I would happily jump into the river if I found any, but the closest body of water is a few hours away. Damn this.

 

 

*****

 

 

Their wandering around the area closing rifts and defeating whatever threat they find on the way got them three places that would be good for scouts to set up camps, and they plan on letting them know in the morning. The group decides to stop by a pond to make camp for the night, since they are yet too far from the initial camp for it to be reasonable to return. It's been a while since Eranen told them she would take the chance to bathe, a _long_ while, and Solas finds himself worried. "She is taking too long," he tells the others, who look at him and then at the direction she has disappeared to.

"Yes, you're right." The Seeker says, preparing to stand. "Maybe I should go see if she needs help."

"Seeker, if she needs help Chuckles is the best one for it." The woman gets immediately red at his words.

"Do you mind, Solas? Checking on her?"

"Not at all, Seeker." He answers as he stands up. "I hope she has not fallen into a hole." Varric laughs as the elf goes into the woods. What Solas really hopes is that the woman hasn't injured herself, because he desires her so much at this point that he may not trust his judgment. Not that he would force her into doing something she doesn't want, but he _might_ lie about the need of a more direct approach. He really wants her lips around him again. And to feel her hot skin under his body. _Accept it, you want her. Elvhen or not, she already has you_. _No, this is wrong_.

It doesn't take him long to hear her, and it confuses him. What could she possibly be doing? As he gets closer he starts doubting his ears. _Is she...? No... she wouldn't... would she?_ She seems to be moaning, and if his traitorous mind isn't affecting him he is sure she is also calling his name. He has to hold himself not to gasp loudly at the sight. Eranen is sitting on the grass, her back relaxed against a tree and her legs wide open while her hand is between them. He can't see what she is doing with her fingers, but he can imagine. Her breathing is loud, and she is definitely saying his name, but there's something else there. He decides to wait and listen. It's not long before she says more.

"Solas... how did you do this, Solas? Ah... Creators... Hmmm. It's good but... damn it... Solas... if only I could ask him..." She is trying to replicate what he did to her, how he touched her. _How many times has she done this?_ He wonders. _How many times has she touched herself thinking about my touch?_ The realization that she wants him makes his body burn. He understands now why she savoured his seed, and he remembers her words the first time he gave it to her in his cabin. She _likes_ it, the taste. The way she asked him if she should go with him into his tent in the morning, he should've known. And she wants him to touch her again. He spent so long chastising his own thoughts that he failed to realize her desires, her so obvious signs, that he just didn't put them together. Should he reveal his presence? It would betray her privacy, perhaps even her trust. This is something he shouldn't have walked in on. But the more she calls to him, the more she whimpers in delight and frustration, the harder it is for him to walk away. She is having trouble reaching her climax, she doesn't know how to do it.

 

 

*****

 

I wanted to take a bath to be rid of this burning desire, not end up wanting even more after. To be in this situation, with my legs spread while clumsily trying to find the way to pleasure is almost shameful. How did he do it? I want to feel that overwhelming sensation again, but all I get is this teasing; it feels good, it builds me up, but it makes me want more and I don't know what to do. "Oh... Solas... how... if only you were here..." Damn him. If I knew allowing him to show me this would get me this way I wouldn't have let him.

"Eranen." His voice comes calmly from behind me and I jump in surprise, taking my hand away from my sex and tumbling away from the tree. When I'm standing and my eyes fall on his figure, flushed and uncomfortable, I don't even know what to do with myself. I can only imagine the distaste he feels towards me now, maybe even disgust, considering he loathes healing me with that ritual. To walk in on me like this... calling his name...

"Solas, I-"

"Don't." He says as he walks around the tree and stands just a few steps away from me. He doesn't look at my body, once again he is consistently only looking at my face. "Do not apologize. I know that is what you intend to do." Of course it is! "I came here to see if you needed help, since you were taking long to return. I did not expect to see you doing this, but I notice you might, indeed, need my help." What? Is he serious? "Do you?"

"Er... what do you mean?"

"You said that night that it was your first time. I notice you are struggling to find pleasure. If you'd like... I could... help you." Is he serious? Man walks in on me touching myself, calling his name even though he only touched me that night out of what... charity? Is this more charity?

"Solas, you have no obligation towards me. That curse already takes too much from you, you don't have to... please me to make me feel better. I don't want your charity, I know you only did it that night because you took pity on me, on my state. You were receiving pleasure and you wanted to give me some in return, there is no need to do that now." He seems shocked at my words. Why? Did I guess it right?

"I understand it might seem that way, but I do not offer this out of charity."

"Then why?" He seems to be at conflict with himself, does he even know why he offered it? I shake my head and walk towards my clothes on the grass.

"I want to." My hand stops at the shirt. What?

"What do you want?" I ask as I pick it up.

"To help you. To touch you. To... feel you under my hands again." I feel my body burning at his words. He wants me? I was so sure that was the last thing he wanted!

"So you like women?" I ask before I could hold back and he starts coughing; I think he choked. I cover myself with my shirt, not yet wearing it since I'm not sure I will be accepting his help or not.

"What led you to believe I do not?" He asks when he finally recovers.

"Well... at the very least I thought you didn't like me. I mean, we're pretty much strangers, if it wasn't for the curse we wouldn't be doing this." I really doubt we would. "And then the way you make sure I'm never injured, to the point of throwing yourself in harms way to protect me. And you have been **very** uncomfortable since you told me what the ritual is actually about, I can tell you don't like doing it. Even if it gives _you_ pleasure."

"I do enjoy women, Eranen. In fact I **greatly** enjoy women." Oh. Then the problem is me. "The reason I am reluctant is because this is a situation that was forced on you." Me? Well I'm pretty sure it was forced on him too. "When I offered you my touch it was not out of charity, it was of course a form of repayment for the pleasure you were giving me, but I also wanted to feel you. You must know you are an attractive woman." Oh... that was unexpected.

"Well, I know I'm beautiful I just never payed it any mind. It makes me happy that you think so though, because well... I think you are very handsome, Solas." I chuckle a bit nervously.

"Then I believe this makes it easier for the both of us."

"It definitely does. Honestly? When I saw you naked I actually _thanked_ Fen'Harel for the curse." I laugh and the look on his face actually makes me laugh more. He is completely shocked.

"Since we are speaking openly, I confess I have been tense these past days not because I regretted touching you, but because I wanted to touch you more." Oh. Oh gods. "And my offer still stands, do you want my help?"

"Oh... well... I er... I do. Please show me how you did that because I have no idea and it's killing me!" The look on his face is hilarious, then he takes a deep breath and suddenly he is _so_ intense. Creators, my veins are on fire.

Solas approaches me and the closer he gets the hotter I become. When he is right in front of me I can feel his deep breaths, the heat emanating from him. "I will touch you now." I nod and then I feel his hands on my breasts. "Do you like this?" I nod. He kneads on them and my breathing gets more laboured. He hums with a smile. "I remember you liked this as well." His thumb rubs my nipples and I gasp then nod. Whenever he plays with the tip I feel jolts through my body, he is so good at this. "Keep your hand here." He tells me as he removes one hand from my breast. "Touch it as I touch the other." I'm not as good as him, but it does feel good. Too good. I can't hold back the sounds now. His free hand now travels down my waist, and the way he moves it so slowly makes me think he really enjoys this. How could I have missed this? It's so obvious now how he likes touching my body. His hand stops at my butt, and he squeezes it a little. "Like it?" I hum and it turns out a whimper. Why do I make these embarrassing sounds? He seems to like them though.

My body is burning with the build up from the teasing at my breasts, I want more, I **need** more. Thankfully he seems to notice it, his hand on my butt travels to the front of my hips, and his finger brushes through my tiny soft hairs covering my mound. I gasp in anticipation. "You are very wet." I know, it's weird. His finger slides into my folds so effortlessly but the pleasure is immediate. I almost jump in place as he slides it around, and I'm sure I hear a soft groan from him. Whenever his finger touches the nub I feel my legs faltering. "Place your hand on my shoulder for support." Is he a mind reader or what? I do it, and I hope he doesn't mind me squeezing his shoulder as the pleasure intensifies. He continues to rub inside my folds and then starts to hit my nub more often; it feels just so good that I think my mind is going blank. I can't even touch my breast anymore, and I use the hand to hold onto his shoulder too, but it's not enough, I'm going to fall. I let my head lay on the crook of his neck and I feel his shiver along with a sharp intake of breath. His scent is so good and his pulse is strong against my skin. He doesn't stop touching me, he continues to bring me ever closer to that overwhelming sensation I've been craving so much.

"Ah, Solas!" I end up crying his name as the energy floods me and I have to hold onto him harder because my body is trembling and I don't know how to stop it. But it feels so good. I'm completely breathless when I calm down. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." He says and I notice he is breathless. He wants me to touch him too, doesn't he?

"I uh... I can repay your help, if you want." I say as I step away from him. He takes a really deep breath with closed eyes then shakes his head, giving me a sad smile.

"I would like that, however we must go back. The others must be worried."

"Oh... but... you..." I take a quick peak at his hips and he _is_ hard.

"Do not worry." I feel bad for him. But he is right, if we take too long the others may think we have found some threat around here. I look at his troubled face one last time before I go to the pond to clean myself. I'm just too wet to simply put my clothes back on right away. It's... uncomfortable. I wonder why my body does this.

After I'm clothed we walk back to camp, where the others look at us with curious faces, but at least not uncomfortable as before. "So, was she in a hole, Chuckles?" I can't believe he's still mocking me for that.

"No, merely enjoying the view."

"Well, Silver, next time warn us."

"Sure, Varric."

As we eat I notice Solas is quite uncomfortable, and I really wish I could help him. And feeling him in my mouth again would be quite nice too. Damn, I can't become like that again. I concentrate on my food, trying to clear my mind, but it doesn't help much. I need to sleep before this escalates. So as soon as I'm done I escape to my tent.

 


	12. Defeating Templars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group continues their tasks in the Hinterlands, which leads them to discover the Templars' Hideout. After a really bloody battle, Eranen insists to take a bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I bring you another chapter (a few hours earlier because I don't know if I'll be without internet tomorrow) and I hope you like it! :)  
> Thank you everyone who left comments, it makes me very happy! <3  
> Thank you for kudos as well <3

Solas heads to his tent almost immediately after finishing his meal. The thoughts of Eranen trembling against his body, moaning and calling his name against his neck as she reaches her climax don't leave his mind and he wishes he could have her in the tent with him to spend the whole night pleasuring each other. He wishes he could openly taste her instead of having to pretend he didn't do it. Of course these wishes make him angry with himself once again. Even though he knows now that she desires him, he still refuses to accept he wants her just as much. She has shown him how she is intelligent and cunning, her reactions as she witnesses suffering and unfairness shows him how deeply she can fell, yet he doesn't want to think she can be more than the shallow people he has encountered. To believe she is more would make his decisions so far even more atrocious. Could he have been so wrong? _This is just body urges, nothing more_.

He refuses to pleasure himself, and one good reason he uses to convince himself is that he does not know if Eranen will need his healing the next day, so it's best for him not to waste his _potion_. Once again it isn't easy to fall asleep, but he manages in the end, only to encounter another desire demon to tempt him.

 

After a quick breakfast that includes leftovers from dinner, they move towards the scout's camp so they can update them and get the Inquisition's forces moving. From the moment he woke up to the moment they arrive at camp, Solas notices the Herald is just as -if not more- lost in thoughts as the day before. What could be troubling her? Is she still desiring more of him? _Nonsense_. _She sure must have other things to worry about, unlike you, horny wolf._ They must focus on stabilizing the place, closing the rifts and going back, Solas must focus on protecting her above everything, he needs her alive, he needs the **mark**. _It's the Anchor that is important_.

 

 

*****

 

 

Scouts updated, we head towards Master Dennet's ranch, only to find more mages and templars fighting on the way there. Everything is going well until two templars use a combined strike. One releases a pulse dispelling my Barrier and Cassandra's, the other sends forth another pulse so strong that I thought could get me stunned, but when I looked back I saw Solas on his knees, clearly incapacitated and at the templar's mercy. I couldn't allow him to be injured, not only because whatever that templar could do would likely be lethal, but because Solas was an important person in the group, and not only because I needed him to live. Whatever happened to me Solas could fix, I had to protect him. So I forget about my target and quickly tumble backwards, pushing the dagger into the small opening between the templar's helmet and shoulder guards, piercing his skull. One lesson people should never forget: don't ever turn your back on an assassin.

A grunt behind me warns me of the proximity of the other templar, but when I turn to look I see Cassandra has already taken care of him. Varric also has just sent a bolt into another templar's throat and we are finally clear. Solas, however, doesn't seem any better. I don't even imagine what it feels like to suffer a Smite, but he clearly isn't well. I get closer to him and notice he is struggling to breathe, it worries me. I kneel beside him and hold his face in my hands, trying to look into his eyes, only to find them without focus. "Is this normal, Cassandra?"

"Unfortunately. Some mages do not suffer so much, he got hit badly."

"Solas?" I ask him, but he doesn't seem to be hearing me, and his breathing is so difficult he almost seems to be wheezing. "Solas?" I turn to Cassandra again. "Is there a way to speed his recovery?"

"Not that I know of." Damn it.

"Well, at least I think I got us some information." Varric says by one of the templar's bodies. "Their hideout seems to be close if this note is not a trap."

"How can we face them?"

"We can't, we'll need backup." Cassandra says. "We should report it to the scouts then plan an attack. There might not be many of them but there aren't many of us either, and we can't risk losing Solas there."

"We can't risk losing him anywhere." I end up saying. If he dies I die.

"Of course, that is not what I meant."

"Solas?" I try to get him back, but I'm not even sure calling him helps. I take a deep breath. I never saw a mage hit by this, but I imagine they wouldn't take so long to recover.

"I once heard the stronger the mage the worst the effect of a Smite." Varric says and I look at him again, finding him going through more pockets. "Chuckles doesn't seem that strong to me though. I guess he just got a bad hit." I wouldn't be so sure, this flat- **he** is a suspicious man who knows much. I just wonder what he would gain by playing weak.

It takes Solas yet a few more minutes before coming to, and relief flows through me as he blinks and his breathing evens out. "Welcome back, Solas! You worried me!" I say with a smile and he seems confused.

"I-" He coughs and frowns. "I apologize. I did not expect that." He tries standing and I help him, he seems surprised.

"I guess we should be more careful around templars from now on." Varric says.

"Definitely." I say. "Are you okay, Solas?"

"I am better, thank you."

"Good." I say, still smiling. "Well, let's get going then. Are you finished going through the corpses, Varric?"

"Yeah. They didn't have much." He goes towards Cassandra and gives her the paper. "Here, Seeker, their location."

"It is on our way, perhaps we should regroup with the scouts and get support from the soldiers before continuing." She says.

"Makes sense, better than going back and forth around here." I say.

And then we go back, and I'm thankful to find soldiers still at the initial camp. If they had already been sent to the other camps we would have to wait until they regrouped here. Since they're here we can act now. And we do.

 

The battle is bloody and ugly. I suppose it couldn't have been any different. I'm happy that at least we didn't lose anyone. Even with their Spell Purges, Solas was at a good enough distance that he could keep the Barrier up on everyone, and we got a good strategy, trapping them in their own safe place, like rats in a nest. Their archers were cut out from their ammunition supplies, so they ran out quickly and we took advantage of it. Varric got many grenades to throw at them, as did some of the rogues we had back at our camp. I didn't need to fight much, which was good because if I had ventured there I'm sure I would be at a terrible disadvantage. I bet Solas is glad he won't have to heal me. After the massacre is over we head over the mangled and blown up bodies to check on whatever they had and maybe find some information. The supplies and useful equipment are sent for the scouts to distribute among themselves since there was nothing my group could use, and the food and blankets are sent for the refugees.

I'm covered in so much blood that I don't think I can continue this without cleaning up first. So I insist that they let me bathe and clean the equipment at the stream nearby. We're just beside a waterfall for Creators' sake! It takes a bit of convincing because Cassandra wants to get closer to Dennet's ranch before stopping, assuring me that there is another stream near there, but I don't want later, I want to be clean now! In the end they agree. And I must say, it might not have been the best of ideas.

 

 

*****

 

 

Solas is still bothered by the way the Smite hit him so hard. He is thankful the others haven't realized the reason it hit him so is because his connection to the Fade is stronger, something the mages of today are unable to achieve. At least until he fulfills his duty. The mage is also thankful Eranen hasn't gotten injured in the confrontation, he thinks that if the frequency of their physical activities decreases they might be able to have a more comfortable atmosphere between them. Of course he can't help fantasising about her naked body as she bathes when she insist she should go clean herself right away instead of waiting until later. She seems to have forgotten he could cast a spell, or she simply wishes a normal bath. He is surprised when she appears sheepishly from behind a few plants asking him to join her. Has she hurt herself? Solas is unable to ask before he hears the dwarf's voice questioning her. She nods, but doesn't offer further explanation. The mage assumes it must be mortifying for her to appear half-naked, covered only by the large leaves of the plants surrounding the stream, to ask him to give her his seed. He knows she doesn't have an option, it's either that or die, but it still amazes him how she can be so practical.

Standing up from the crate he was resting on, Solas walks towards the woman waiting for him behind the plants. As he approaches she moves away, and he follows, trying his best not to look at her naked body. He is already aroused, or if he is honest with himself, _still_ is. Even after all the combat they have been through, his body is so pent up from the day before that he doesn't need much encouragement to be ready. She stops near the waterfall, in a spot surrounded by rocks and thick folliage. Does she want them to bathe first again? "How serious is your injury?" He decides to ask instead of running his magic through her.

"I'm not injured." _What?_

"Then why lie? Why bring me here?"

"I... I hope you don't mind, Solas. I know you want it just as badly as I do. After yesterday, the way you left, I could barely sleep thinking about you. And let's say this bath only made things bad for me again..."

"This isn't right. The others are waiting for us, we have our duties to the Inquisition. If you were injured I would do it, but as it is, I insist you come with me." _As tempting as it is to stay and not leave until us both is satiated_. He takes a deep breath and turns his back, already trying to decide if he should use a spell to dry his pants or not after he is back.

"Solas." She calls and he stops, turning his head to face her, and becoming shocked at the sight. _Is she that desperate?_ Eranen has her teeth around her wrist, and a very serious expression. "I will bite if you don't stay, then you will have to heal me anyway."

"Do you desire me that intensely?" He can't help feeling a bit of heat nudging his pride at that.

"I do. You awakened something in me I didn't know existed, and I want more of it. I want more of you. And I know you want me too." Solas takes a deep breath, if she really plans on hurting herself to force him to do it then he has no option. And she is right, he **does** want her.

"You do not know what you ask of me."

"Then enlighten me." She says as she lowers her arm. The mage closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath and walks closer.

"If we do this, we are doing it my way. Can you accept it?"

"Won't you tell me what I'm supposed to agree to?"

"You led me to believe you wanted me so badly as to injury yourself to force me. I do not think you need to know what I would do to do you."

"Fine. As long as you let me have you in my mouth and make me feel that way again." He tries to hide the effect her words have on him.

"My way or nothing." She pouts and he finds it incredibly amusing.

"Fine, just get naked already, we do have a ranch to get to." _Now she wants me to hurry? Of all the women this Anchor could have been attached to it had to be a wilful one._

"To the margin then." He orders as he starts removing his tunic. She looks at him with intense eyes and licks her lips, making him wonder why last night changed her so much. They don't have much time, what should he do? He wants to taste her openly, he cannot deny himself that any longer. She wants to have him in her mouth again, perhaps a mutual oral stimulation could be arranged. Tunic in hands, he looks around, wondering about how to go about this. There isn't much space for laying down. _Sitting then._

Solas places his tunic on the grass and starts removing his trousers. When his member is freed he hears the loud intake of breath coming from Eranen. "Creators, Solas, I have to say: your body is perfect." He turns to her, then, finding her sucking her lower lip and with one hand between her legs. The sight makes his blood burn in desire. He remembers how it felt to have his hand there.

"Why do you need me if you can touch yourself now?"

"Because I still can't do it as good as you." _Oh fuck me_. He takes a deep breath and sits down on his tunic, leaving the trousers beside him, and not bothering to untie the foot wraps.

"Come here." He says as he opens his legs, keeping his knees slightly bent. She walks towards him and stands by his feet. "Get between my legs and turn around. It's best if you're quick, we do have to move."

"Stop talking about that for a moment, will you? I can't concentrate on that with my body burning in need. After this is taken care of I'll go to that Dennet." When she's in position, Solas takes his hands to rub around her back, butt and thighs. She breathes loudly as his hands wander around her body.

"Bend forward, completely." She is athletic, she should be able to do it. As she bends forward, she touches his legs. "More, you wanted me in your mouth, take it."

"Oh." She runs her hands on his legs, and as she uses one for support beside his thigh, she holds his hard cock with the other, making Solas groan at the touch. He feels her soft lips grazing the sensitive skin just before her warm and wet tongue run around the throbbing surface. He closes his eyes in delight, almost losing himself in how good her mouth is on him. He can't help imagining what it would feel like to be inside her clenching cunt as she cries out his name. "I have to tell you, Solas: I really missed this." Her words nudge his pride and make him want her more. How can she be so sexy? And then he feels her warm and slick mouth enveloping him, her tongue immediately starting to rub the under side of his length, making it impossible for him not to gasp in reaction. He feels her other hand rubbing against his thigh before settling on the ground beside them.

Solas takes his hands to her butt and pull her to his face, basking in her scent before taking his lips to her nether ones. She gasps in surprise, and he loves what it does to him. They are so slick with her juices and he isn't sure if it's only because of her previous attentions to the sensitive area. She was always so wet when he touched her. Could her body be so ready for him? He begins rubbing his lips softly against her, enjoying the softness and warmth of it. He desired this moment so much, but he isn't able to focus on it because of the way Eranen sucks him with such hunger. She slides her head, allowing her tongue to move all around him, then sucks only to rub the tongue once again. It is maddening, and he loves it. He begins sucking the swollen flesh, delighting himself with her taste. _She is delicious._ He feels her moans into his cock and it only makes it more pleasurable. Her tiny entrance calls to him, untouched and so very pink, and he is unable to restrain himself, licking and pushing his tongue into it. His action gets him a gasp, which he feels straight through his shaft. He can't go very deep, his tongue isn't so long after all, and he remembers his finger caused her discomfort, he doesn't wish that either. He pushes until it's still pleasurable to her, and the way she moves around him lets him know that. It's sad that he can't spend hours discovering what would make her crazy, but this moment is already rewarding enough, for now.

He moves to her clit and she moans so loudly that she almost lets go of his cock. Solas knows he won't last much longer, so he needs to make her reach her climax soon. Flickering the tip of his tongue on her nub he can feel her beginning to shake against him, and he wonders if her legs will be able to keep her standing, even with the support of her arms. He pulls her closer and starts sucking her clit, moving his tongue hard against it, making her moan into his cock. He definitely won't last long. Solas flickers his tongue again, and this time he doesn't stop until she's trembling and crying out into his cock. Seeing the way he can undo her with his mouth gives him so much pleasure that he lets himself go. She sucks him with such hunger, even though she's panting, that it's easy for him to spill into her mouth. When she takes her mouth away from him he lets her go, finally stopping licking her.

Massaging her thighs, he helps her turn towards him. He doesn't know if she's done it on purpose, but the moment she turns, she lowers herself to his thighs. She probably doesn't have strength in her legs, but she's right over his member, and if she doesn't move she'll get him very hard again. "I believe we should go now." He says, still busying his hands on her thighs.

"You show me yet another amazing thing, Solas. I didn't know that was possible or... so good." She's so flushed, her breasts so close to his chest tempting him so, her slick sex over his, her warm breath close to his face; everything is so blinding that he almost kisses her, managing to regain his senses a few centimeters away from her swollen lips. The very lips that are able to give him so much pleasure. He notices the confused expression in her face and wonders if she realized he almost kissed her. He doesn't need this becoming even more complicated.

"There are many possibilities in sex." He holds her legs firmly and pushes her up, she stands up, then, eyes still fixed on his face.

"I assume you've been with many women then." She says, calmly, still naked and watching him. Solas wonders what could be going through her mind.

"You could say so." He says while getting on his feet and collecting his trouser.

"It might frustrate you that I'm so... inexperienced." _What?_ He looks to her then, curiosity taking over him.

"Why?"

"Nevermind. I do appreciate what you've done, and I apologize for the way I've... forced you... to do it." She sighs then looks at the ground. "I'm..." Her voice drops almost to a whisper "I don't know myself anymore. Ever since... ever since that night, your touch is all I think about. Even after last night... I tried doing it myself, and failed. You helped me and I thought I could do it alone but... it's not the same. I sound... Creators I don't even know how I sound like, I mean... I don't want you to think I only appreciate you for your body, or that I'm reduced to a pleasure-seeking demon..." She sighs again, this time walking towards her clothes and Solas notices her hands grasp at them strongly. "I... I know I've told you this yesterday but... you lit something in me I didn't know I had and... Solas I..." _What is troubling her?_ "I don't know how to deal with this. It's strong, it's overwhelming, this... _need_... I feel like it's never enough. And well... I'm at your mercy, Solas." _More than you imagine._ "And it bothers me... as much as this is so good... gods it's amazing... I... am I addicted to you? I don't want to be a nuisance, Solas. I know what I want and I go after it, and I'm sorry I took it from you like that, I abused of my importance to take advantage of you, and I'm sorry." He frowns, still confused about her reasons to be saying these things. "You told me you want me too, that I'm beautiful, but... I know this only exists between us because of my curse. You're a man, and as you just said, an experienced one, which I _obviously_ noticed from the way you touch me, I know you have your own desires and I noticed the way you try to restrain yourself." She starts pulling up her panties. "I... do you..."

"Herald!" Cassandra's voice comes from nearby, shocking both of them. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Cassandra!" Eranen shouts back. "We'll be there shortly!" She sighs. "Well... guess this gives me more time to think of a proper way to talk to you about this." She says with a coy smile as she pulls up her pants. Solas reaches for his tunic and dresses himself as well.

"You can talk to me whenever you are ready." She nods and gets in her shirt.

"Thank you. I wish the clothes had dried at least." She says while pulling at the hem of the shirt which clings close to her body. Solas can't help a chuckle.

"Allow me." He walks close to her and with a simple gesture casts a spell to evaporate the water from her clothes.

"Amazing." She says with awe shining in her eyes. "You know such nice tricks!"

"That I do. Next time you wish to stop for a bath in the middle of a mission you might simply ask me to cast the spell on you."

"But then how would I calm down my body? Well, not that it worked." She shrugs and Solas laughs, which surprises him. "Well... let's go."

And as they make their way back to camp, Solas wonders how this woman can be so different from every person he has met so far. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to allow himself to enjoy this.

 


	13. Finding Dennet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group heads to Dennet and secures horses for them, the Herald can't help getting injured again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! If you read the latest chapter of Punishment(116) you already know this, if you don't then it might or might not come as a surprise that my body sucks and mysterious pain kept me away from writing. But now I'm back, and the chapter is here!  
> I hope you like it, and I would love it if you tell me if you do. I'm completely spoiled now when it comes to comments, if I don't get them I think people hate the story! x.x  
> Hopefully I'll be able to write as usual soon :) For now I'll try taking it slow, I don't know if I'm fully healed yet.

Creators! What have I done?! As we walk back to camp I still can't believe I threatened Solas into having sex with me. I know he likes it too, so that's keeping me from feeling too bad about it; he told me he wanted to touch me, that I'm beautiful. Perhaps... perhaps we can arrange something for us, something that will keep us both satisfied... this rush of desire he unlocked in me doesn't seem to be ever satisfied for long. I _want_ him, and I'm not afraid of asking him for it. If only Cassandra hasn't interrupted the moment. I can't wait to get to this Dennet and be done with this.

"Varric told me you required Solas'... help." Cassandra says when we're back. I'm annoyed at this woman, I can't really blame her, but I'm annoyed all the same. I hate being interrupted and that conversation was an important one.

"Yes. I'd suggest you don't go after me next time unless you want to watch something, Seeker." I see the woman blushing at my words. "But maybe that was your intention? Because you _know_ what his help means."

"I uh," she coughs, "I simply wondered if maybe you had run into any trouble." Varric laughs and I raise an eyebrow.

"Run into trouble? With what exactly?" That's a completely isolated waterfall with _one_ way in and out. "Or perhaps you wanted to... help too?" She gasps.

"Of course not! That wasn't my intention, Herald! I was worried you had been sucked by a current or something, waterfalls can be dangerous! Or maybe found a straggler templar!"

"Thank you for your concern, but remember what I said." I get my pack and start walking. "Let's find this Dennet."

 

It doesn't take us long to find yet another rift. And I'm surprised that the hit I take from a Shade is immediately healed. I smile, remembering that I just swallowed his seed not too long ago. So it can heal future injuries as well; so useful. Remembering what we've done almost blinds me to an incoming claw, but I tumble away in time. That was such an unexpected position, many times I thought my legs would falter, but we managed. And Creators... he is good with his mouth. It felt even better than his fingers and I thought that was the best thing I've ever felt. A Wraith hits my Barrier, reminding me that this is not a good time to be lost in memories.

When the rift is closed, Solas comes to me, and immediately asks about the wound. I show him my perfectly healed arm and his eyes go wide. "It seems it can heal future injuries too, for a time, I guess." I say and he nods. "Maybe we should do it before every battle?" He looks at me with an expression I don't know if it's utter shock or disbelief. I give him an amused smile.

"That is worth considering." And his eyes are dark with that desire he showed me once, and I find myself not breathing. What is this about this man that takes my breath away?

"Let's move. We're close." Cassandra says, interrupting our moment once again. I sigh, but she's right, it's almost nightfall, we should probably hurry.

We come by a pack of wolves behaving all too abnormally, and we are forced to kill them. Solas tells us the animals might have been driven crazy by the rifts opening in the area or that a demon could have taken control of the pack; and if any of that is the case it only makes me hate even more the person who opened the Breach. Not even animals are safe from its effects. When we arrive at Dennet's ranch, I'm surprised by the state of things. The people who work here clearly haven't been working lately.

An old woman is tending to a small garden and greets us. We introduce ourselves and she tells us to talk to her husband, Dennet, in the house. Cassandra, then, knocks at the door and after a few minutes it opens to reveal an old man who looks tired, or worried.

"A halla-rider. So you're the Inquisition eh? Hear you're trying to bring order back. It's high time someone did." He makes room for us to enter and invites us in, after we're in the large and almost empty room he continues "Name's Dennet. I served Arl Eamon for thirty years as horsemaster. I hear your Inquisition is looking for horses."

"We are." I say. "What's that about halla-rider? Got a problem with the Dalish?"

"What? No. Those halla are damned majestic beasts. I'd give my right arm to ride one."

"That they are. So, can you help?"

"Not at the moment. I can't just send a hundred of the finest horses in Ferelden down the road like you'd send a letter. Every bandit between here and Haven would be on them like flies on crap. You'll have mounts once I know they won't end up as a cold winter's breakfast." He takes a deep breath. If you can protect the area then you can have my horses. My wife Elaina manages the farms, and Bron's in charge of my guards. They'll tell you what they need. Until then, _you_ deserve something better than whatever knock-kneed plow nag they gave you." They actually didn't give me anything. "Come with me." We follow the man outside and he starts walking towards one of the stables. I notice, then, that the place is huge. "The chestnut over there is a purebreed Fereldan forder. Take care of him and he'll take care of you, Inquisition." He also has horses for the others, and even a mule for Varric.

We thank him and lead the animals out of the stables, tying them nearby so we can talk to the horsemaster's wife and the other man. The woman wants us to deal with the wolves, giving us a general direction to where she believes they're coming from. The man wants us to build watchtowers in key places so they can protect the area. We'll need to send word back to Haven to get resources to build those watchtowers, but the wolves we can deal with.

 

"There was a rift over that way." Cassandra says after we collect the mounts. "Let's close it and make camp for the night."

I agree and we head over to the rift, finding it a little harder than usual because of the Terrors. Unfortunately, a claw attack lets me discover the effect from my previous activity with Solas isn't lingering on my body anymore, because the cut doesn't heal. I hope he really doesn't mind healing me as he said, aside from his weird guilt. Maybe the talk I plan on having with him will get rid of that.

"Solas," I say while walking near him, "can we talk privately?" He looks at me with his usual curious face, no sign of that hungry desire. Maybe I'm the only one consistently thinking about those moments. I notice the others are aware that I'm hurt but they don't seem as flustered as before. Maybe they're getting used to it?

"Of course." He begins walking and I follow him towards some trees, away from the others. "They should not be able to hear us here."

"Good, uh..." Gods... how do I say this? "Before Cassandra interrupted us I was going to suggest something and, well, now that I thought more about it, I actually think it's a very good idea." He tilts his head, attention on me.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I still feel guilty about the way I _convinced_ you to... help me yesterday."

"The way you threatened me into having sex with you, you mean." He says with a smirk, the only thing keeping me from feeling mortified.

"Yes, I was... desperate." I sigh. "You told me you wanted to touch me so I thought you wouldn't refuse, when you did I... I guess I wasn't really thinking."

"I accept your apologies, and were it any other circumstance I believe I would not have refused." So I'm not wrong... "I did because we had a task to accomplish, and sometimes we cannot afford the time for pleasure."

"You're right, of course. It wasn't my intention either, I really just wanted to be clean again. But... it seems bathing was... arousing..." He chuckles.

"It is known to happen. I am surprised you had never felt it before."

"As I told you, before you touched me I never had this... urge. Men didn't interest me, or women. I focused on my tasks and my body was calm. But... ever since that night..." I sigh, just remembering gets me hot again. "Well, you know this already, so... the reason I asked to talk to you privately: I want to propose something to you."

"Oh?" He seems genuinely intrigued.

"You know I want you, I know you want me. You just said you wouldn't refuse me in... less demanding circumstances, so... what do you say of us doing it regularly? Not just for healing?" He is surprised, I guess he really didn't expect this. "Maybe we could even share a tent? If that isn't too much for you? If it is, we could still sleep separately and meet away from our companions' eyes."

"I admit I'm surprised you would propose this. It has been a long time since I was given this kind of offer."

"You don't have to answer me now, you can take your time to think. But it would be great if you agreed because I really could use your... help now."

"I understand this is all new to you, so I must warn you: it is not uncommon for feelings to arise in this type of relationship, and that is not something I can encourage."

"Solas... we are already in that 'type of relationship' if you haven't really noticed, my curse forced us into it. What I propose is that we start enjoying it freely."

"You... are correct. And I accept your proposal. It should prove... delectable." And there it is, the hunger in his eyes. He comes closer to me and whispers in my ear. "You should know: you are delicious and I cannot wait to taste you again." He steps back with a smirk as my body burns and my breath becomes laboured. Gods... "We should get a larger tent. Meanwhile, we can enjoy what nature provides us."

"Yes. Yes, we can. Where?" He laughs.

"So eager. Come with me." I hope the others know better by now than to follow us.

"Herald." But it seems she still wants to interrupt me. I turn to Cassandra and she continues. "We will set up camp in that cave, it seems safe enough." I look at it, almost hidden by the rocks and plants.

"Alright. We'll join you after we're... done." Gods, this is weird. I notice she blushes but nods. I follow Solas and he takes me to the area right above the cave. There are some trees hiding us from curious eyes even though the moon rises so brightly above us. The grass is soft, but he still uses his tunic to cover it. I watch as he sits down, still wearing his trousers

"Sit." He simply says, calm as ever.

"Shouldn't we be getting naked?" I ask as I sit beside him. He chuckles and I feel his arm wrapping around my back, then next thing I know I'm between his legs with my back facing him. He is stronger than I thought. Another mystery.

"Soon." I feel his hands pulling my shirt from under the belt, only to slide under it afterwards, pulling me flush against his chest in the process. He is so warm. His hands on my belly are tingling and make my body burn, specially between my legs. The moment I feel his hands on both my breasts I relax into his body and close my eyes, letting my head lay on his shoulder. "You are soft even though you are toned, it is tempting."

"Tempting?" I ask, breathless.

"It makes me want to squeeze and bite you." Hmmm... biting? There's only one way I'll find out if I like it.

"Hmm. Try it." And he does. One of his hands cup my breast and squeeze it whole while the other squeezes only the nipple of the other breast. It feels so good, even better than that time. His mouth finds my exposed neck and just his lips make me shiver, the moment I feel his teeth pressuring against the skin I moan. "Gods, this is good." I feel him hardening under me, and he removes his teeth to slide his tongue around my neck up to my ear. Solas takes the earlobe into his mouth and sucks it, making me gasp. Then his teeth are on me again as he grazes my ear up to the tip, sending a jolt through every nerve of my body. "Ah!"

"As much as I love listening to your sounds, you might want to make them lower if you do not want our companions to come looking." He says with such a low voice close to my ear that I feel as if I am melting into his body.

"Don't you know a... spell to muffle sounds?" He squeezes my breasts again, making me gasp.

"You want to be loud then? I remember you used to be shy about your sounds." One hand slides down my belly, then attempts getting into my pants, only to be stopped by buttons.

"I guess you can say I'm not shy about anything anymore." I say as I unbuckle the belt and unbutton the pants for him, allowing his hand to slide by and touch my mound. "Oh yes." I whisper as I push my back against his chest.

"May I enter you?" He asks before he sucks my earlobe. Enter? Like... with his thing? That's how it's done after all, isn't it? This thing we've done so far is the unusual one.

"Yes." He groans into my ear then licks my neck again. Next thing I feel is his finger at my entrance, and I notice how it slides effortlessly around, not yet pushing inside. It feels good and I can't hold back a moan. He attempts pushing it in, and it's uncomfortable.

"You're so wet yet so tight." At my whine he stops. "Open yourself for me. Move your legs to the outside of mine." I do and he moves his finger around again, making me hum in delight. "Relax." I do my best to, and then I feel him sliding his finger inside again, more effortlessly this time. It's so... different, awkward even; but then it feels good and I sigh. He pulls it out a little, rubbing me inside and then pushes back in, making me even more breathless. This is such a different sensation, yet so, so good. It's nothing like what he has been doing to me, even though there is that build up somewhere in my belly. I notice I'm holding his thighs tight with my hands, but the rest of me is completely at his mercy. I attempt a look at his face and find him with closed eyes and slightly open mouth, and it makes me wonder if he is taking the way his hand feels on my body to memory or trying to do to me what his memory tells him. He said it has been a long time for him, didn't he? He feels so hot under me, his breathing is also uneasy, is it because he enjoys this? Does he enjoy touching me as much as I enjoy touching him? God I hope he does because this feels awesome. I lay my head back against his shoulder and try to spread my legs further so he can have more room for his hand. I couldn't imagine it would make him go deeper in me, which feels even better.

"Solas this... this is so good..." He lets out a small groan and his mouth finds my ear again, he nibbles on it and makes me shiver.

"Good. And it is only the beginning." His hand starts teasing my nipple again while his finger continues to move inside me, once again he does things to me I never thought could be so good. So good I almost forget I have an open wound.

It's not long before I feel him inserting a second finger, and it stretches me in such a weird way, it's not painful but it's noticeable. I wonder how it will feel when it's his thing and not his fingers. He isn't a small man after all. I'm glad he isn't huge either. I can't help my breathing turning into moans and sighs, the way he builds me up is slow and even though I love it I find myself wanting more, I want that overwhelming sensation taking over me again. "Oh Solas, more."

"More? More what?" He whispers into my ear and I whimper.

"I want that... that feeling... that... climax." He nibbles on my ear again and while I hold him tighter with my hands he whispers.

"Say the words: Make me come." Oh, dirty Solas.

"Make me come, Solas." He groans and soon his hand is moving in a way that touches me more, as he pushes his fingers in and out his thumb rubs against my nub, and I tremble at the strong sensation. "Ah!" And it's not even the peak. Oh Creators. His two fingers start rubbing against a spot that is so delicious I end up jerking against him. "Oh gods, what... what was that?" He chuckles and continues moving, and I can't even keep my eyes open anymore, I surrender completely to his touch. "Solas, oh my... that's so good." And it keeps building, I feel my legs tensing up, I know I'm close and then it hits me, making me gasp and whimper, tremble and squirm over his body as he continues to move, extending this amazing sensation. It's different to contract against something hard, but it's good, amazing even. "Oh damn. Oooh Solas that was... gods..." He sucks my neck and chuckles.

"Speechless?" Smug, so smug. But damn it if he isn't good at this.

"Yes." I'm breathless, but now that it's over and he removes his hand from my sex, rubbing my thigh instead, I feel the blood coming out of the gash on my arm. "And I need your seed now." He moves me up a bit and holds my arm, making an annoyed sound at what I believe is the state of the wound. I can't really see it, but it's sore and definitely bleeding.

"Yes, you do. Do you want to take it as usual?" Wasn't he going to enter me? Or was that limited to his fingers? I turn to look at him and he seems calm enough, even though he is very hard against my body.

"I thought you wanted to... be in me?" He hisses and I see his nostrils flaring. Oh he definitely does.

"I do, I just need to make sure you want me to."

"Will it be better than what we just did?" He chuckles and I find him very cute despite the situation.

"It might, I will definitely try to make it _very_ good for you." Oh gods.... the way he said very... I'm burning. Who _is_ this man? He is definitely not who he says he is. If I didn't need him to live I would definitely be far from him. His hand leaves my breast to rub my belly. "However, it is your first time, it might hurt at first." His hand goes down to my other thigh to be rubbed just like the other. "And you must tell me if it does." If we'll be doing more of this I guess it's best I get this out of the way, isn't it? Not to mention it sounds **very** tempting.

"Yes, Solas. I want you." He groans and pulls me up, I sit on my ankles and wait for whatever he plans on doing. He starts removing his pants, and the moment he frees his sex I gasp. I can't wait to touch it again. And I find myself touching it soon enough, he looks at me with a surprised face, then smiles. "I... really like it, you know?" And his feral look is back. I rub my hand over it, then grab it. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, making me think how cute he looks once again. This face, relaxed and pleased, is so beautiful, so different from his usual concerned one. "Especially in my mouth. I really want to suck you again." He opens his eyes and I see them dark and full of desire. I sigh in anticipation. "May I?"

"You may." His voice is so rough. Gods, I should be more concerned about my bleeding wound that is probably three times the size by now, but I can't. I can only think about feeling his hard and throbbing shaft sliding on my tongue, almost down to my throat. And I lower myself, taking him in. It was just a few hours ago that he was in my mouth, but I hum in delight. I feel the warmth that comes with the healing, so this should be enough to stop the injury from getting worse. His hands start rubbing my shoulders as I lick and suck him, until they are at both sides of my face and pull me away. "Why?"

"You can drink me another time." He says with a gentle smile, then he moves away from his tunic, sitting on his ankles. "Lay down." I wish I could drink him now, but yeah... we can't really take too long. What if Cassandra decides to interrupt again? I can't have that.

"Shouldn't I strip?"

"Considering we are not in an ideal place, as much as I would enjoy seeing your naked body, I'd suggest removing only your pants." He says with a smile and I take off the footwraps so my pants can come off, laying down on his tunic afterwards. It's weird to be laying like this, knowing what's supposed to come next. At the same time I feel vulnerable I want it so much. I can't even imagine something better than he's given me so far.

Solas moves over me, and I open my legs so he can get in between them. That's how it's done, right? I'm still so wet, it seems like it will never stop. I guess it helped his fingers move inside me, so it's good that there's a lot of it, right? I shouldn't worry about this, he likes that I'm wet, I noticed that clearly. His hands rub from my thighs up to my belly, sliding under my shirt until they grab my breasts. I gasp when he teases both nipples and squeezes the mounds. Too soon his hands are away from my body, and as he lowers himself, he supports his weight on one forearm and slides a hand down to my hips again. He massages the wet folds, making me moan and rub my legs against his hips. When I realize what I'm doing I stop. "You are free to move your legs." He says before his mouth finds my neck, licking and then sucking. I decide to indulge and rub my legs on his. It's nice to feel his warm body against mine like this, I suppose it would feel even better if I wasn't half clothed. Soon his fingers slide inside me again, making my breathing louder. At some point, as he moves, I notice there's a wet noise in the air, and I realize it's us, it's his fingers moving in and out of my wet sex. Normally I would be embarrassed, but now? Now I feel heated and I want more.

"Oh Solas, please, please make me come again." He bites my neck at my words, only to suck it hard next. I moan loudly and jerk against his hand, which starts moving in that delicious rhythm again, rubbing that amazing spot inside me. "Oh, oh, oh." Gods, so so close... and then he inserts a third finger. Oh Creators! He doesn't go as deep anymore, but it's still good, so good. I realize at some point I started pushing my nails against his back and he is breathing so deliciously hard against my ear that I think I'm going to burn. He resumes his sucking at my neck while his hands work me into the climax, and when it hits I want to scream, but I hold it back, which makes me squirm more against his body and I think I broke his skin with my nails. "Oh Solas, I'm sorry." He chuckles.

"Do not worry, it'll heal." He looks me right in the eyes then. "Are you ready?" Oh gods...

"Yes." I feel his hard length against my sex then, making my eyes close in anticipation. He starts rubbing it around, and damn this, it feels good too. Is there anything he does that doesn't feel good? "You're amazing..." I end up saying almost as a whisper. Then I feel his fingers leading his shaft to my entrance. It's now... it's now that I'll find out what this is like. I hold in a breath, but he doesn't push in.

"Relax." I notice he is looking at me, measuring me? "It won't do if you're tense." How can I relax when I'm anticipating so much? I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and I begin caressing his shoulders to busy my mind. It helps me relax, and soon I feel the tip pushing against me. I start breathing through my lips, my heart beating so fast. His hand moves to rub my hip as he begins pushing further in. I hear him gasp and open my eyes, only to find his closed and his lips slightly parted. His shaft definitely feels different than his fingers, and even though I'm stretching to accommodate him, it's not painful. I feel so full, in a way I never expected to feel. There's a bit of pressure, a tingling and a pulsing that I don't know if it's me or him or the both of us. I find myself caressing his cheek, and he immediately opens his eyes, looking surprised at me. I give him a smile and his expression shifts to something completely unexpected: pain? Worry? Then he closes his eyes and buries his face on the crook of my neck. I'm pretty sure he says "I am sorry" before he begins moving. I would ask him what he was talking about, but the way he rubs so well inside me takes my mind off everything else. There is just our bodies connected and breathing loudly under the dark sky.

I couldn't believe anything would be better than what I've had so far, but this is. And not only in a pleasing way, but healing as well. He hasn't even spilled inside me and I'm glowing, and I feel the wound closing already. This is so much more effective. Soon I find my legs wrapped around his hips, my hands tight against his skin, pushing the nails against him and almost making him bleed again. I try not to be so loud, but I can't help moaning at all. His ragged breathing against my neck only makes me feel hotter and increases my pleasure. This is so weird, to lay with a man I barely know but who holds my entire life in his hands. But I don't care anymore, this is good, too good, and I tell him so. It's not long before I'm overwhelmed again, with powerful waves flowing through my body and rending me completely helpless against him. "Solas!" It's even more different this time, contracting against him this way. I find myself pushing my body closer to his as I squirm, and he's so hard and pulses back against my walls as he continues to move. I wish I could feel my breast flushed against his chest, but maybe next time. Soon he jerks quickly and groans against my ear, biting my shoulder and I glow brightly. He spilled. Somehow knowing this thrills me. I hum in satisfaction as I rub his back. "This was amazing." I chuckle, breathless and floating in bliss. "I definitely will want more, Solas." Now he chuckles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20.07.2018 - I just created an e-mail in case you liked the story and want to chat :)


	14. Hahren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations and a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring you another chapter, yay! My hand still gives me trouble... it sucks... I don't know what's wrong with it D= I really don't want to spend like a month without typing as people have suggested... I would go nuts!  
> Part of this chapter was written on my phone, and I finished the rest on pc, and I got to say... my knuckles hurt T_T  
> I hope you enjoy it! <3

As Solas feels his body relax after spilling into Eranen’s glowing body, he eases his teeth from her shoulder in order to give her a gentle kiss on the spot. He notices she wouldn't  ever bruise because of his biting and sucking, at least as long as she takes his seed. She's still mewling under him as her hands on his back keep him close while her body goes through the last of the clenching around him.

He cannot deny he was looking forward to this, yet, even with their agreement to engage in a sexual relationship, he feels guilty. After all, it's his fault this is happening; as she said: they wouldn't be doing this if the Anchor wasn't on her hand, demanding she has his seed in order to be alive. And once again, he took her first time. Because in the end it wasn’t really a choice, was it? She wanted it, she craved it, she made that much clear, yet he feels guilty. She would be leading a normal asexual life if he hadn't given his Orb to Corypheus. She had never wanted anyone and he has ruined her. He had turned her into a lustful woman, and the worst part is that he enjoyed it.

The mage lets his body lay beside hers as he removes himself from her and closes his eyes, breathing slowly. The guilty thoughts continue to circle his mind as he comes down from the blissful sensation coursing through his body.

“Solas… that…” Eranen says, breathlessly from beside him, “Creators… it was amazing.” And there it is, the guilt and the delight squirming inside his chest. He is not even sure what he wants to tell her; so he says nothing. After a few moments in silence, she continues, but her voice is not elated anymore. “Solas…” she sounds worried, “why were you sorry?” He can’t help a sigh leaving his lips. Should he be honest? He decides for the truth, she deserves it.

“This… I…” He takes a deep breath and turns to look at her, propping himself up on an elbow. “Once again I took your first time. You could have done it with anyone else or chosen not to if it weren't for the mark.” surprising him, she frowns, clearly annoyed.

“You didn't take anything, I wanted it. Don't patronize me, Solas. I’m not a child, I chose this.”

“Yes, but… if it weren't for the mark-” She sits up abruptly, surprising him once again.

“We’ll never know! Because I am cursed and I chose to embrace what that means.” Solas sits up, taken aback by her clarity. So far he thought she wasn't really understanding what she was asking, a shallow being simply reacting to what was in front of her, but he once again was wrong. “I thought we had reached an agreement, Solas. Do you regret it? Did you do it out of pity? Creators forgive me but if you did it out of pity I'll never forgive you.”

“No, it wasn't out of pity. I wanted it. I just…” He sighs. “It was foolish of me, I apologize if I have offended you.”

“You confuse me. Be clear with me: do you want us to enjoy each other aside from healing? Or will you continue to be guilty over something that isn't even your fault?” _It is my fault. But if she is sure, if she asks me this clear minded… yes, I have been wrong._

“I apologize for confusing you. It was never my intention, but it has been a long time and I am still re-adjusting. We do have an agreement, I do not regret what we did, in fact, I enjoyed it immensely.” He risks a small smile and at the soft blush of her cheeks, Solas chuckles.

“Good, because I really didn't want to go to someone else in those moments.” Once again he is taken aback, but there is also an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He isn't jealous, but he also doesn't like that possibility. This makes him realize he most likely destroyed her love life. He would apologize, but it would only confuse her further. He decides to tease instead.

“As if anyone could ever give you as much pleasure.”

“Well… as long as you're fine with this I won't ever need to find out.” _Temptress. Could she still want more?_ His question is answered when her hand touches his cock, and he stops hers with his.

“As much as I would love to do it again, we should go back.”

“Right…” She sighs and removes her hand from him. “Solas… can you cast that cleaning spell? I smell funny.” He chuckles.

“You smell like a woman who was brought to climax over and over. It is… tempting.”

“Tempting?”

“Yes. If I were not the cause of your pleasure it would make me wonder who was and how much you would prefer me instead. Since it is me, it makes me want to take you again.”

“Damn you, now I want it even more.” He chuckles.

“Another time.” He says with a smile as he sits up. “Anticipation helps build pleasure.”

“Oh then it’ll be amazing when we do it again because I’m burning.” She stands up and collects her pants. “So, are you cleaning me or are we letting the others smell the evidence?” _Oh I would love to lick you clean._

“It would be interesting to see the Seeker’s reaction, but I will in a moment.” Solas stands up and dresses himself, noticing how Eranen shamelessly looks at his body. He decides then: she is an adult who knows what she wants, she wants him, and he will give her this much. No more guilty thoughts, what is done is done, it cannot be reversed without the Orb, he must keep her on his side, perhaps it will be easier when he needs to tell her the truth. She wants to embrace what the curse caused on her, he will embrace her. His body won't go hungry again.

  


*****

  


I get back in my clothes after Solas is done getting his on, when I’m done he casts a spell on me. It feels refreshing and tickles a little, as if many tiny bubbles were popping against my skin. And just as the effect is over I feel cleaner than ever. This is amazing.

“This is such a handy spell, Solas. Too bad I can’t cast.” He looks at me weird, then turns his head away with an intake of breath. I notice a frown forming on his face just as I hear some ruffling of leaves. “There’s something nearby.” He nods. I pick up my daggers and try to pinpoint the location of the being by sound since it’s too dark through the trees. “To your right.” I whisper as I move closer, taking cover behind a tree. Soon I feel his barrier on me and he moves towards the approaching creature. Whatever it is, it’s moving closer. It doesn’t sound like any animal I know, neither like Cassandra’s heavy steps or Varric’s careful ones, and it moves too slowly, too carefully. Whatever it is, it’s trying to sneak up on us. Then I realize it’s not one, but three creatures approaching. They’re either bandits or mages, maybe straggler templars. We’re outnumbered but I can work with the cover of night to my advantage, specially having Solas’ barrier to protect me. “Three,” I whisper to him and he nods, still posing as bait.

It doesn’t take long for the first sight of a weapon reflecting the shine of the moon to call my attention. I point the direction and Solas casts his Chain Lightning, which illuminates two other soldiers farther away I wasn’t able to hear. We’re definitely outnumbered. The ones his spell hits are clearly rogues, two with bows and one with double daggers. To break my cover at the moment would be a bad move, so I wait. The archers are paralyzed by the spell and Solas has time to cast Chill Strike on the dagger-wielder before the soldiers can come in range. I notice the man hasn’t died, but is frozen enough for me to break him like a statue. The moment my throwing dagger hits his chest, multiple pieces of frozen flesh and ripped armor fly over the archers, who come out of their daze. I need to be quick.

Moving swiftly by the trees and out of sight, I make my way behind the group so I can eliminate the archers while the soldiers are too busy trying to reach Solas. His barrier protects him from the arrows that fly his way and as the archer prepares to shoot a second my blade meets his neck, slicing open his throat and I jump back into the shadows. I would give them the advice to not try to ambush a Dalish in the woods, but I don’t think they’ll make use of it. It’s too late, anyway.

As I cut the other archer’s throat I notice the way Solas moves away from the soldiers, almost as if dancing. He is able to parry some blows with his staff and step away from others so gracefully that it makes me think there is no way he learned that wandering alone his entire life. And no matter what he says about learning from spirits, I don’t think he learned that from a warrior spirit or whatever they are called. His movements show clear experience, the kind he needs a whole life to acquire. With Cassandra and Varric around, everything was always too chaotic for me to pay attention, but now, under the glow of the moon he almost looks godly. As much as I would like to keep observing him, this has to end, so I approach the soldier with a shield from behind and slash through his nape, severing his spine. His companion startles in surprise, giving Solas the opportunity to cast a spell and burn him inside his armor. I don’t even need to finish him off, the flames are too effective.

“We make a good team.” I say with a smile. “Didn’t even need the others, and we were outnumbered.” Makes me wonder why I’m usually hurt when the group is complete.

“Indeed.” He says as he leans on his staff. I decide to loot the bodies, maybe they have something useful. “The grace with which you move to strike at your targets is pleasing to observe.” Heh, I should be the one to say that- wait.

“Are you suggesting I’m graceful?” I look at him from the body I’m searching pockets and see an amused expression on Solas’ face. Smug.

“No. I am declaring it.” There he is with that voice that makes me want to jump him. “It was not a subject for debate.” My mouth opens but I can’t find anything to say to that. I shake my head and get back to looting. Whenever I have a quiet time to think I’m going to analyze everything I’ve seen from this man so far.

“You were right.” I say as I stand. “If we had gone for another round they would have caught us pants down, literally.”

“You should listen to me more often.” He begins walking towards camp and I follow.

“I suppose I should, Hahren.” He looks at me with an amused face and shakes his head.

“Remind me to burn those bodies in the morning, Dalen.”

“Will do.” To think that I started calling him Hahren for the Fade knowledge, now he has even taught me things about my own body. And I can’t wait to learn more. “Do you think Cassandra would hate it too much if she had to share a tent with Varric?” Solas laughs openly, such a beautiful sound, he should definitely laugh more.

“Yes. She would.”

“Well, guess we’ll have to wait to sleep together then.”

“Indeed.” I sigh.

“I think I’m addicted, Solas.” He chuckles. “I’m serious, Hahren!”

“I know, Dalen. Why do you think there are so many houses of pleasure in towns?”

“But some people are completely unaffected! _You_ don’t seem affected.”

“I hide well. You are young, recently discovering a powerful sensation. Do not worry, you are not addicted.” I wouldn’t be so sure… I sigh.

When we get to the cave the others look mildly uncomfortable, I wonder if it’s because what me and Solas just did. They seemed used to it by now, though. Maybe there was a fight again? I wonder when they’ll stop bickering.

“We came across some bandits, but their equipment was good.” I say as I go through the food, filling a bowl.

“Are you alright?” Cassandra immediately asks, shocked. I raise an eyebrow at her.

“I am, or I wouldn’t be here.” I can’t help a snicker. Her shoulders fall, relief?

“You’re right.”

“Good equipment uh? Either they got lucky against a caravan or they’re hired.” Varric says. “Did you burn them, Chuckles?”

“Obviously not, Master Tethras, I hardly wish a beacon so close to camp at this time of night.”

“Yeah, good, so, in the morning we check them out.” Varric says a bit… concerned?

“I checked them, they didn’t have anything of value on them aside from some coins.”

“No sigil on their armors?” Cassandra asks.

“None.”

“Well, I am glad you both handled it well.” She continues. “It’s dangerous out there by yourselves.”

“Yeah it was fine. And we can hardly heal my wounds in front of people.” She chokes even though she isn’t drinking or eating anything.

“Definitely cannot.” She says after she stabilizes.

“Yeah, that’s something I wish I could get out of my head, you know?” Varric says.

“I still can’t believe you guys watched him heal me…”

“I did not have a choice…” Solas says bitterly. Poor man.

We fall into silence after that, and after I’m ready I go into the tent, wishing I would share it with Solas instead of Cassandra. Hopefully next time we’re in a scouts’ camp this can be solved.

 


	15. Apostates in Witchwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the wolves and the mages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here is another chapter, I'm sorry it took so long and that the schedule I had planned is completely messed up by now. I got sick after my hands got better... but I'm well enough now.  
> Thank you for kudos and comments, they make me really happy <3  
> I hope you like the chapter :3

I wake up wanting Solas touching me again, but I can't have that so I try to clear my head. As much as we have an agreement now, I can't just pop by his tent and ask him to go the bushes with me. I don't know what's going on with my body to keep me craving his. No wonder people have children so easily if this is what happens to everyone. Children... oh Creators. I should talk to Solas about this later.

  
I can't stop worrying about what we did last night, I definitely cannot get pregnant, but at least having that worry on my mind stops my body from asking attention. The others look at me as if wanting to ask what's wrong, but they don't.

  
After breakfast we go pile the bodies and burn them. Cassandra confirms my suspicions that the bandits weren't simple ones, which only makes me wonder what they were doing in the area; who they were working for. Without clues to follow though, we continue with our task of solving the problem with the wolves. Everything points to their lair being on the other side of the river, and said river could only be easily crossed near a rift, and said rift has very difficult demons around it. Shit. "I don't think we can fight them. What do we do?" I ask while observing the Despair, two Terrors and the otherwise easy to defeat three Wraiths, but with their current company they are very difficult.

  
"We need to close that rift." Cassandra says.

  
"Of course we need to, but we can't commit suicide either." I spit the words at her. "I don't see us defeating them, specially waist-deep in that water."

  
"She is right, Seeker." Varric says. "Bianca doesn't like water and there aren't many places around I can climb on to fight them."

  
"We need support to fight this rift," I say, "now... I think I can evade them and cross to the other side, but can you?"

  
"I believe we can all cross from that point, it should not call their attention to us." Solas points to a spot with a fallen tree stopping most of the current's strength.

  
"Yeah... good eyes, Solas." I smile at him. "Let's go." And we cross the river, carefully and always keeping an eye at the demons by the rift.

 

  
We follow the tracks up to a ravine and it makes me feel like an animal heading into a trap. Approaching carefully, Varric scouts ahead and returns with a nasty report: ten wolves and a Terror demon. I sigh. We can't fight so many. To make things worse, the place doesn't offer much maneuverability with plenty of rocks and old wood platforms. "If we destroy the demon the wolves should be free from its control, perhaps even fleeing, but they would be definitely too confused to fight us." Solas says.

  
"How do you suggest we separate the demon from the wolves, Chuckles?" Varric asks with a very skeptical expression. The mage seems to fall into deep concentration for a couple of minutes before he hums.

  
"You said there are choke points, I believe I could trap them with an Ice Wall while Cassandra keeps the demon busy."

  
"Alright, then I'll bait the wolves" I say and both Cassandra and Varric look at me with alarmed faces. "Because I doubt they'll simply go where we need." I add.

  
"Nope, I'm the bait, Silver. We can't risk you getting hurt." I raise an eyebrow at him.

  
"They'll catch you in no time, Varric." Now I am skeptical.

  
"Hey, my legs may be short but I can run."

  
"Well... you'd better be right." He simply winks at me. "Alright then, let's do this." We move carefully inside their lair, trying not to catch their attention prematurely. I'm surprised by the beauty of the place, and I wish I could stay to look at it more thoroughly, but we shouldn't linger even after defeating them. Specially if Solas' plan works and we don't have to kill the wolves afterwards.

  
It starts a pure mess. We succeed in approaching without being seen, but as soon as Varric gets the attention of one of the wolves things move too quickly. The Terror teleports under him, but Cassandra was prepared for that, and just as the dwarf moves away taunting a small group of wolves the rest come after me and Solas. I try to help Varric baiting now that I had four wolves after me, but as he had told us, the place is awful to move around. When a wall of pure ice blocks the group of wolves following me I realize Solas had given up on the initial plan. Well, can't blame him. But I hope he can still block the others, or we'll have to fight them, and fighting a pack isn't easy at all. At lease Cassandra seems to be doing well enough against the demon.

  
The group of wolves that was after Solas is also trapped, leaving only the ones following Varric. But at this point there are no more choke points to trap them in. We can either focus on the demon so its death can render the animals confused and unable to fight, as Solas thinks, or regroup and kill the wolves. With three wolves still running after Varric, who I'm surprised isn't tired by now, we decide to continue as things are and be rid of the demon as fast as possible. The wall should still hold for a few more minutes but I don't think Varric will be able to keep up for much longer. I position myself behind the demon, and as soon as I approach the damn thing decides to shout, but Cassandra smites the creature, interrupting it before it can stun us, and giving me a perfect hit chance. Unfortunately the demon is resistant, so it doesn't die, but Solas' Lightning Strike causes it to shake violently and Cassandra cuts its head off.

  
Just like Solas said, the moment the creature dies the animals become confused, whining and falling to the ground. Their whines are quite awful to listen to, as if in pain. "Should we kill them?" I ask to be sure.

  
"They should no longer be a problem without the demon controlling the pack." Solas says.

  
"Then lets get out of here before they come back to their senses." I say, but before I even move I notice a shard shining on the ground right where the demon was. I take it and I feel a weird power in it. It's probably enchanted, I wonder what it does. "Can you identify this magic, Solas?"

  
"Perhaps. Let us find a safe place first." And we do. When we're back on the other side of the river, away from the rift, the handsome mage I can't wait to enjoy takes the shard from me. "It is a charming enchantment, it should stop wolves from perceiving the wearer as a threat." Ooh.

  
"That's handy."

  
"It is." He gives it back to me. "You should keep it, and wear it." Oh I definitely will.

  
"Thank you."

 

 

We make it back to Dennet so we can let him know the issue with the wolves are solved. Now there's only the watchtowers left, but that's for Cullen and the others to take care of. Varric brings my attention to a board where some requests have been posted. It's weird to search for a druffalo in these circumstances, but I decide to keep it in mind if we end up coming by one.  
"We should go back to the scout's camp to send back news and ask for the watchtowers." Cassandra says and I agree.  
When we get there and exchange news, we discover they have tracked the mages to Witchwood and we decide to deal with them after lunch. Now having something immediate to worry about takes my mind back to the pregnancy issue, and I make my way to Solas. I have to discuss this. "Can I talk with you?" He nods and follows me to a place where I believe nobody will listen in on us. "Solas... we... well..." I take a deep breath and decide to simply throw the words at him, "how can you keep healing me like we did it last night without me getting pregnant?" He is completely surprised by my question.

  
"Do not worry, that is not possible." What?

  
"Why not?"

  
"Your body completely absorbs it, you cannot bear my child." Oh. Well, that's a shock. Somehow it makes me feel bad, it shouldn't because I didn't plan on ever having his kid, but still, it's weird to discover it like this.

  
"Well, er... that's... good, I guess." He raises an eyebrow at me and I shrug. "It's kinda weird to hear it, that's all." On the other hand... "But, I guess that makes it completely safe for us then." He chuckles.

  
"Yes, it does."

  
"And speaking of it, we should get that extra tent so we can share it..."

  
"Indeed." Oh if only I could jump him right now... the way he looks at me makes me burn inside.

  
"I don't think we need it to be a bigger one as you said, we were sharing with the others so one of the same size should suffice." I find myself running my finger on his hand. "Specially since we'll be sleeping very close to each other..." What if he doesn't want to sleep close? "Well, unless you don't want to." He whispers in my ear:

  
"Oh I would very much like to have you flush against me at night." A shiver runs through my body and I find myself breathing hard through my mouth. Damn this man.

  
"Can we do it again?" I whisper in his ear and he pulls back to look at me with a surprised face. "Like... now?" He laughs. Why is he laughing?

  
"So eager. I believe we do not have enough time. We must move soon." And then he comes closer to whisper again. "Furthermore, we are surrounded by spies." I sigh.

  
"I really want you, you know?"

  
"You only make it harder for me to keep my composure, Eranen." He says with a smirk.

  
"Well, hopefully we'll get a moment after we're done with these crazed mages."

  
"Yes, and then-" I guess I'll never know what he was going to say.

  
"Herald, let's move." Cassandra's voice carries around the camp. Damn.

  
"And then I hope I can have you in my mouth for a very, very long time." I say with a smirk and before he can say anything I make my way back to the Seeker.

 

Talking to Solas about sex gets me burning, and even though I got a clear target in mind, my body still lingers on the desire. It's hard to concentrate, once again. On the way to Witchwood we come by Fort Connor, which has a few remaining templars inside. That is not surprising, considering the Hinterlands are huge and there are probably some small groups around still, what surprises me is the amount of red lyrium bleeding from the walls and growing from the ground. That definitely shouldn't have been there. What is going on? Varric asks us to destroy the crystals after we're done with the templars, but as much as we try to break the stuff it just seems to multiply. We'll need a way to properly destroy it, I assume even dust would be dangerous. Even so, the dwarf seems happy enough to vent his anger by breaking the thing. I need to remember to ask him what makes him hate it so much. I would ask him now, but we need to focus on the task at hand, as much as my body tries to argue with me. If I would act on my body desire I would jump Solas against the nearest wall. Damn.

 

  
The woods are creepy, to say the least. There are bodies and remnant spells everywhere we look. I wonder for how long these people have been fighting. It takes us a few hours and a few encounters with groups of mages to finally find their hideout: a cave very well protected by wards and mages.

  
It's a messy fight, the place isn't easy to move around so flanking the mages is complicated. At least I manage to avoid being a target for most of it. When the ones inside the cave come to the support of the falling ones, things escalate quickly. Maybe we should've brought support. No, we should have definitely brought support. Solas is constantly trying to keep his barrier on me, but sometimes I find myself completely vulnerable, and it's in one of these rare occasions that I'm hit not by a spell, but by a sword from one of the hired mercenaries. It's shallow enough so I can fight back and defeat him, but the damage is done. Eventually we manage to kill all the mages, since none surrendered, and my few scratches are now bleeding openly. Damn this curse.

  
"I need some time alone with him." I tell Cassandra and Varric.

  
"Yeah, I can see that." Varric seems worried, but then salutes me and turns to leave. "Come on Seeker, unless you want to watch."

  
"Urgh. I do not!" She stomps after him and I look at Solas, who is frowning.

  
"Something wrong?"

  
"Your wounds..." He sighs.

  
"Let's do something about them, uh?" I smirk and wrap my arms around his middle.

  
"You deserve better than a cave full of corpses."

  
"It's what we got at the moment." I slip my hands under his tunic and start working on the laces of his pants. "And you didn't mind that time we were ambushed, you even took me in front of the others." He squints and then shakes his head.

  
"You know why I did."

  
"I do." Once he's free from his pants I grab him hungrily with my hand, don't even wasting a minute before my mouth is taking him inside. He bucks once against me, causing me to gasp and he apologizes. I guess that was a reflex movement? I really love feeling him against my tongue, I don't know why, but I do. And he smells so good too, as if his herbal scent concentrates with his own down here. When I realize it I'm pulling him against me with both hands, even though I can't really fit him all without choking. I hum in delight, and his low sounds only have me wanting him between my legs even more than before. If only it wasn't so hard to remove my armor... Too soon I feel his seed on my tongue, followed by the glow on my skin. His hands which I haven't noticed were on my hair pull my head away but I can't resist a last lick on him, and sucking on my lips. "I could do that all day." I say as I stand up, legs a bit wobbly from crouching. I notice he has very hungry eyes behind the bliss and relaxed expression from his climax.

  
"You are a temptress." He says while fixing his clothes and I chuckle.

  
"If only I knew how I would have you crazy, I'm only being honest." He shakes his head. "And I'm burning down there with desire, Solas. Please tell me we're sleeping together tonight."

  
"We are." He doesn't sound as excited as I hoped. Is he still feeling guilty?

  
"Oh I can't wait." I start walking towards the exit. "Well, I'll let them know we're done so we can check on things and go back." It sucks to walk when this aroused, but there's nothing I can do but try to focus on the task at hand.

  
"There she is." Varric says. "Healed, Silver?"

  
"Healed, Varric." I say with a smile. "Let's get this over with, I want a bath."

  
And we go through the place and the bodies, checking for useful things, which include supplies for the refugees at the Crossroads. There is a mysterious door and no matter where I look I cannot find a way to open it. Solas says it is likely sealed magically, but he cannot find the way to unlock it either, but points to the three large objects on the side, which he imagines is connected to some outside source and functions as a lock. Well, it's something for another time, if ever. I'm not sure we'll be returning here.

  
On the way back to camp I can only think of how much I can't wait to be inside that tent with Solas.


	16. Sharing a Tent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen and Solas share a tent for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and typos that slipped my review. I'll try to get rid of them(in previous chapters too) as soon as possible.  
> I hope you like it! :3  
> Oh and thank you very much for kudos and comments! ♡

I'm burning with desire and anticipation as I eat dinner with the others. I can't even pay attention to what they're talking about, I can only think about getting in that tent with Solas and not come out until morning, and not for sleeping. Sometimes I look at him and I can't find any sign that he is looking forward to it, but I remember his words, I remember how he told me he wanted it.

  
Finally I'm done, and I see he is done too, so I don't waste any time. "Help me clean up, Solas?" He looks at me, just like the other two, and he nods before standing up and walking my way. "This magic trick of yours is wonderful."

  
"It is." He says with a small smile and casts, this time it affects my mouth too, and I think I just might stop carrying hygiene stuff completely and use him instead.

  
"I'm going into the tent," I say when he's done, "will you join me?" Cassandra gasps loudly and I think she almost choke. "You two will share?"

  
"Yes." I say. "We've gotten quite used to each other."

  
"That they did." Varric says with a smirk.

  
"So, will you join me now?"

  
"I might as well, the wards have already been set." I smile and nudge his hand as I walk towards the tent.

  
"Come then."

  
I get inside and begin removing my clothes. He enters and as soon as the flap is down his hands are on me. "I was waiting for this all day."

  
"Really? You looked calm enough."

  
"I can hide it well." He says into my neck before sucking the skin. I try to be silent but end up gasping. "Do not worry, the tent is silenced." And his hands slide down my shirt to help me undress, rubbing my breasts on the way.

  
"Great." I take my hands to his pants, working the laces, only stopping to get my shirt off. His length is hard and free under his tunic and I can't wait to have my mouth around it. If only we didn't have so many layers of clothing. At least he has less, but undoing footwraps is boring and takes a while. "I don't suppose you have a spell to undress?" He chuckles and pull me up from his knees where I was working the wrappings.

  
"Unfortunately no. But they can be removed quickly if you focus on yours instead."

  
"Oh but I really wanted it... you know... in my mouth." He removes his tunic and I get a complete view of my target. I can't help licking my lips.

  
"You surprise me with how much you enjoy it in your mouth." He says with his voice rougher than usual, I guess desire is taking over him too.

  
"I do... I love it." I moan in delight at the memory from earlier today and his hard member twitches. I busy myself with removing the rest of the armor lest I jump him right now.

  
"As for me, I am craving your taste." I look at him and find him undoing his footwraps with very dark eyes watching me. "To get in between your legs and eat you as many times as you come for me." Oh Creators. "To feel you trembling under my tongue as I lick you clean." My body is burning, I remember how good it felt at the waterfall, how many times I thought my legs would falter because of how he made me feel. I try to work the armor off quicker, I need him. Whatever that thing he loves so much is, it's starting to drip out of me as my sex throbs, I need him.

  
"Damn, I need easier-to-remove armor. It's the first thing I'll see to when we return." He chuckles and I see he is completely bare now. Kneeling in front of me and placing an arm on his thigh; damn man is hiding his thing from my view. "Creators... I need you so badly, Solas." And he is amused, damn him. Finally I'm free and naked and before I can jump him he tackles me softly onto the bedroll.

  
His hands grasp my hips and he settles in between my legs, before I can even fully realize what I'm doing my hands and legs are rubbing against him and pulling him closer.

  
"You are so wet already." He says as I feel his shaft rub against my folds. He looks at me with such hungry eyes.

  
"What does it mean exactly?"

  
"It means you really need me." And he lowers his head to my nipple, taking it into his mouth and sucking it while his hands rub from my thighs to butt and again. I'm burning and breathing hard, his rubbing against my folds makes me want him even more. The way he sucks my nipple sends electricity through my entire body.

  
"Oh Solas... I... oh gods..."

  
"Yes?" The absence of his mouth on my breast makes me breathe easier, but I miss it. I realize my hands have been scratching his shoulders.

  
"I need you in me." He hisses and hold my thighs harder.

  
He sits up a little and one hand leaves my thigh, I search it and see he's holding his member that is now so slick even in the poor light. "Watch." I'm so exposed to him, legs spread and the sight of him there, holding the thing I love so much, makes me hotter. I get up on my elbows and watch as he positions the head against my sex, rubbing it a little and making us both moan. He pushes it a bit and the sight of it entering me while I feel the delightful stretch, painless this time, makes me feel like never before. I'm excited, happy, eager and absolutely hungry for him.

  
It feels amazing as he pushes further in, my body swallowing his and making me feel so good. "Oh Solas... mhmmm it's quite the sight."

  
"It is. You are perfect." He is now completely inside and I feel him throbbing in there, my walls clench around him and it feels so so good. From the way he moaned I guess it's also good for him. He lowers himself on top of me and I lay down. The movement causes some delicious friction and I find myself wrapping my legs around his thighs and my arms around his back.  
He moves slowly, and somehow I feel it even better than last night. "Oh this is glorious... oh... oh Solas..."

  
"Do you still prefer sucking it?" He asks so close to my ear before biting my neck.

  
"Ah! Hmmm I don't know. I love both. Oh! You feel so good in there too."

  
"I admit it is delicious inside you." And then he moves in a way that makes me cry out in pleasure. He hums and does it again. "And you make music for me."

  
"Oh, that is amazing, don't stop."

  
"I will not." He licks my shoulder up to my neck, making me burn hotter yet. "I will bring you to your climax so many times you will have trouble walking in the morning."

  
"Oh! But then-ah! Ah! Solas! Oh gods! We have work to do. Oh my-ah!"

  
"Then tell me to stop." Smug.

  
"Never. Oh!" I'm close, so close and yet I wish it would never end. "Ah! Solas! I'm goin- oh gods!"

  
"Come. Squeeze me." And he bites my neck just as he moves his hips in that perfect way, consuming me in pleasure. It feels amazing and he doesn't stop. He slows almost to a stop for a while as I recover, but stays inside. My walls contract around his thick length even after the climax is over.

  
"You're amazing." I say, breathless. "And I'm completely addicted. Oh!" He moves again. "Oh yes... hmmm"

  
"Addicted uh?"

  
"Yes. Addicted. Oh gods." I wrap my legs around his hips, opening myself further for him to move. His hands go to my breasts and he squeezes them both. I scratch at his arms as the pleasure continues to grow. "Ah, Solas... you feel so good." He moves faster, harder, and his thumbs play with my nipples. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I try to rub against him as much as I can. His touch is electric, his shaft sliding in and out work my breath uncontrollably. The orgasm is building again, and I'm losing myself fast. His sounds fill me with delight and burn me inside. There's nothing I like more than being with him. "Oh Solas! Let me bite you!"

  
He chuckles but lowers himself again, abandoning my breasts and taking one hand to my thigh to help him move inside me. His mouth touches my collarbone and he licks the skin up to my shoulder. I hold his and as I feel the climax so close I bite into his neck when it hits me so powerfully, making me tremble and clench around him hard. I feel him pulsing inside me and when he groans and jerks his hips into me I know he filled me. I want to kiss him so badly now.

  
My hands go to both sides of his face, and he looks at me so full of bliss, so relaxed. I feel him getting heavier on me, and I caress his cheeks as he falls to the side, sliding out of me. The unfamiliar desire to kiss him only intensifies and I can't resist anymore. I touch his lips with mine and he gasps. Surprise? I would be surprised too. But he kisses me back, licking my lips before pushing his tongue in.

  
I've never kissed anyone before, but I feel like rubbing my tongue on his, like sucking his lower lip, like sucking his tongue. And I do all that, getting groans out of him and soon I'm on top of him, straddling his hips, feeling his member getting harder the more we kiss. Whoever said kiss is a chaste gesture lied, the more I kiss him the more I want him inside again.

  
I end up rubbing myself against his shaft, and his hands end up one on my butt, guiding my movements and the other on my hair, keeping me stuck against his devouring lips. Breathing is messy but I don't care, I want his lips, I want his tongue and I want his cock. I'm surprised by my mind summoning the word, but whatever. I would scream for him to fuck me if I needed to. But I don't need to. I get my hand between us and position his shaft so it will slide in when I move next, and as it enters me the kiss is interrupted by both me and him gasping, but soon we're devouring each other again.

  
Unfortunately as the pace increases, as the pleasure intensifies, it becomes next to impossible to maintain the kiss, and I straighten my back to better ride him. He helps me with both hands, and the sight of him under me only makes it the more delicious. I'm so wet the sound fills the small tent, along with both our moans that guide me to the perfect pleasure. "Oh Solas! If this could last forever... oh gods!"

  
"It could." One of his hands leave my hips to rub the little nub between my folds, making me cry out and squeeze him.

  
"Damn you... it won't last- ah! long if you do that." He chuckles and does it again, also pushing into me and making me cry out again. It's too good, I'm too close.

  
"I know." And he makes his own delicious noises. "But we need to sleep."  
"But- oh! Ah Solas!" And it takes me, I lower my head on his chest while my whole body burns away the waves, leaving me tingling on top of him. Soon he is jerking into me once more, fingers digging into my hips. I kiss his chest, sweaty but warm and inviting. I lay on top of him, feeling his member slide out and I listen to his heartbeat. "We're a mess." He chuckles.

  
“Yes."

  
"Good thing you can clean us." His hand touches my back, and soon it begins sliding idly on it. It's comforting. "You said it could last forever."

  
"Not tonight."

  
"When?"

  
"When we do not have work to do."

  
"I think I'll want more in the morning." He snorts softly, surprising me. I think I've never seen him do it.

  
"We shall see."

  
"Will you give me more if I ask?"

  
"If we have time."

  
"Then I hope we do, I still want to suck you." I move up to lay my head beside his and find him looking at me with a weird expression. I want to kiss him again. "Can I kiss you again?" He is surprised, but then smiles.

  
"It is unwise."

  
"It didn't stop you before."

  
"I never claimed possessing wisdom." I chuckle and kiss him. It's a gentler kiss this time, tongues and lips moving slower, less demanding and more giving. I don't want to let him go. Still, I have to. When we part he insists we should sleep, and honestly, I'm quite tired after our moment.

  
"Alright, good night, Solas."

  
"Good night, Eranen."


	17. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen wakes Solas up, then they explore the last of the Hinterlands for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long, my head wasn't letting me write.  
> I hope you like the chapter.

 Solas observes her sleeping form for a while, taking the chance to think about the recent events. The woman clearly enjoyed the physical comfort he could provide, relished in the pleasure and was quite insatiable. It was good for her health that she enjoyed it, considering it was needed to keep her alive. He also could not deny anymore that he wanted it immensely, and to hear her say she was addicted to the pleasure he gave her made him proud, elated even.

  
Her peaceful expression as she rests is a contrast to how euphoric she was during their moments of passion, or her blissful smile after she reached her climax. He admits it: he enjoys the effect he has on her, and wants to repeat the experience more times.

  
Of course he did not expect her to kiss him. He almost did it once or twice before, stopping close and managing to take his mind elsewhere, but she caught him off guard, both lost in blissful pleasure, tired and with minds clouded by hormones. She never showed any sign of developing feelings for him, all she ever wanted was his knowledge and the pleasure he could provide. It was likely that the kiss was impulsive, born out of hormone-driven desires and not feelings, sex had a way of doing that and he knew, and he found himself uncomfortably torn between wishing it was hormonal and wishing she had feelings.

  
The latter annoyed him, he knew it was a bad development if it ever happened. He has his duty, she is a quickling with his mark, fated to die either by the effects of the Anchor or by age. The fact her aging was his fault, just as much as her bearing the Anchor, only made him hate himself more. And she has no clue who she's been laying with. But as much as he hated the deception, it was needed. But was it really?

  
In times like these he wonders if maybe telling her the truth would be fairer, but then he realizes she is not ready for it. She might not be blind by Dalish tales as much as the ones he has encountered but he needs to build more trust. Closing the Breach must be his priority at the moment, she might not even survive handling the necessary power. If she does... then he may recruit her, and then he'll tell her. Not before.

  
Her swollen lips, still red from their kiss, make him think about their odd relationship once again, make him wish he could kiss her whenever he wanted. That is a dangerous line of thought, and he must get out of it soon. Sex is a tool, a potion, but kiss is a trap ready to capture hearts, he cannot allow his to be captured, no matter how lonely he may feel, no matter how much he craves company and love. No matter how good he feels with her.

  
He sighs and closes his eyes, entering the Fade with turbulent thoughts.

 

 

His dream is interrupted by warm and slender fingers sliding down his belly. When he opens his eyes, the sight already gets his blood burning. Eranen is over his thighs, and as soon as she realizes he is awake she sits on them. "Good morning, Solas." She says with a wicked smile. Before he can reply, her hand grabs his cock and immediately rubs it, making him gasp.

  
"I see you woke up early." He says as he takes both hands to caress each of her thighs, just above the knees.

  
"Yeah... I guess I have some extra energy..." she takes her hand to the tip and spreads the moisture forming there. He tries to keep a clear mind so he may talk to her, but he is still out of shape in these matters even after his many moments with her. "I hope you weren't having any good dream. I'd hate to interrupt."

  
"No... it- it was not important." He was trying to find his artifacts in the area, but he could do it another time. "But- I find it hard to believe you would hate it..." he hisses as his pleasure intensifies, "considering you deliberately woke me up."

  
"I couldn't resist." Her emerald eyes watch the hard shaft in her hand, and the sight of her naked and playing with him only makes him want to feel her slick heat around him once again. "I love it, you know? It's such a delicious thing, and it feels so good wherever you put it." Damn her words and her honesty. He knows she does not say it to please him or to flatter him, but because that is how she feels. Solas feels his muscles getting taut, the ache in his balls urging him to spill, but he will not, not yet. One benefit of being so old is having learned how to hold it, even out of shape he should be able to do this much. Before he could come up with some teasing words she lowers her head, not to take him in, surprisingly, but to rub her face on it.  
The sensation and sight are shocking and beautiful. Her closed eyes, her slightly open mouth, her firm rubbing of her cheeks against him. He cannot remember someone ever doing this, worshiping his cock in such way.

  
"What are you doing?" He ends up asking, curiosity and amusement clear in his voice, and she rubs her face and neck on the hard length.

  
"Enjoying it." She looks at him then, lips close to the tip so when she speaks they ghost over it. "Does it bother you?"

  
"No. It... surprised me." And delighted him.

  
"Good." And then she takes it inside her mouth, drowning him in wet and warm velvet. He cannot hold back a moan in deep appreciation, it feels amazing. He can only guess her enjoyment at the act makes her so good at it, considering she is not experienced. He knows he will not last long, and they might not have time to go again.

  
"Er-Eranen... let me taste you." She opens her eyes while still connected to him and the sight almost makes him spill. "Turn around."

  
She lets go of him and the absence of her mouth feels almost like torture, he's so close, and his shaft twitches in need. She sees the movement and groans. "Creators, I love this thing." Seemingly unable to resist, she runs her fingers slowly over the entire length, making it all the more difficult for Solas. After licking her lips she looks at him once again. "What do you mean by 'turn around?'"

  
"Sit on my shoulders while you suck me. I will treat you." He misses her unique taste and cannot wait to have it again.

  
"Alright."

  
She positions herself over him and Solas does not waste a second before grabbing her thighs just close to her butt and shoving his face between her legs, humming as he finds her so wet. She moans and rubs his hips strongly as she arches her back. "Solas! Ah!" He cannot help a smile at her reaction. He is giving her so much pleasure with his mouth that she cannot even return to her sucking, she can only tremble in pleasure, and he barely started. Her juices are even better than he remembers, and he wishes he could drink her for hours. If only she had the endurance and they could spend the time.  
Her nails are pushing hard against his thighs, her belly flush against his chest as she rubs her hips against him. He loves how passionate she is. Playing with her nether lips, sucking and licking them only to rub his tongue against her swollen nub, Solas loses himself in giving her pleasure, in her taste, in her scent. She is close, and he wants to feel her powerful inner muscles clenching around him.

  
"Oh, why did you stop?" She's breathless.

  
Licking his lips, he caresses her outer nether ones. "I wish to have you come around me. May I enter you?" He does not have much breath to spare either.

  
"Hmmmm yes, please." Her sultry tone gives him the shivers, making his cock twitch again. "Just... one thing-" And she takes him in her mouth again, sucking him so hard that he has to summon all his control not to come right now. "Oh yes," she lets him go and turns around to face him, "you're delicious."

  
Solas is sure he has the most feral expression he has ever had. This woman, as inexperienced as she is, is driven by such desire that she could rival many experienced ones. And she wants him, and only him, and he can take her as many times as they have time and opportunity. He wonders what she will be like with more experience. And he will be glad to teach her.  
Grabbing her thigh, he flips them both so he is on top, not wasting a second to slide inside her and basking in her lustful moan. His thrusts are as sure as he can make them when so lost to desire. Eranen’s legs hold him tight around his waist but he wants to go deeper, so he slides his arms under her knees and positions her legs on his shoulders. He is so close, too close, and their sounds mixed together in the most lewd symphony only strengthens his pleasure. He needs her to come, he needs to feel her.

  
Letting one of her legs fall, he takes his hand to the nub between her legs, and with just a few precise nudges she cries out, grabbing his arms and squirming under him, squeezing his cock inside her and he feels the pleasure taking him, spilling inside her many times since he was so built up.

  
Solas lets his body fall beside hers, and her trembling fingers soon caresses his chest. "That was... amazing, Solas." He cannot hold back a chuckle. He could get used to that every day.

  
"Yes." You are amazing, he finds himself thinking. "This..." he turns to look at her and she seems worried, "was a great idea." And her worry is gone, replaced by a bright smile. _Oh, she thought I would regret it once again_ ; he realizes. But he cannot afford to regret at this point. "We should clean up and prepare."

  
"Yes. But-" she takes her mouth to his in a slow kiss. A kiss he is afraid to admit makes his heart warm. She giggles after parting. "It's funny to taste myself." She sits up and looks at him, who is amused at her reaction. "I much prefer _your_ taste, though." She says with a smirk and he squints at her.

  
“Oh you better refrain from saying such things, or we may never leave this tent." Her eyes glow with mischief.

  
"Can we?" He cannot help shaking his head slowly with his own smile.

  
"As much as I would like to, we have work to do."

  
"Right..." She sighs and crawls towards her pack, giving him full view of her rear, teasing him into repeating his early actions. He wonders if she realizes what she is doing.

  
Trying to ignore it, the mage sits up and casts his spell to clean his body. As Eranen brushes her long and beautiful hair, he casts it on her. Soon the both of them are wearing back their clothes and armor.

 

"Finally." Cassandra says from the fire, sitting a small distance from Varric.

  
"What?" Eranen asks, her voice with a hint of annoyance. Solas has taken notice of the women's heated behavior towards one another, but has yet to figure out the reason.

  
"The Seeker has been anxious to leave," Varric says ever calmly, "even wanted to call inside the tent," the dwarf looks at the warrior, "but I told her not to." He tilts his head at Eranen then, "You know."

  
The Herald snickers. "Good call, Varric." She walks towards the food and so does Solas. "I'm starting to really think you want to watch us, Cassandra." The Seeker becomes red as an apple and her eyes go wide, along with an open mouth.

  
"O-of course not! That is absurd! Ridiculous! Offensive!" Eranen is clearly holding back a laugh.

  
"So, Chuckles, I'm guessing you're enjoying your special healing duty?"

  
Solas decides not to offer any reply, simply takes his spoonful of oatmeal.

 

 

...

 

 

The day is filled with tasks, even collecting locks for the quartermaster so they can build cages for prisoners. Good thing there are many chests scattered throughout the hills. The only complication is riding, because often it reminds me of how I spent a delicious portion of last night.

  
The thought is interrupted by screams and the sight of smoke in the distance. We set the horses to a sprint and soon we see the source: half hidden by trees is a burning house, with five templars watching outside. Noticing us, the templars move to attack. I'm more concerned about the screams, so I jump off the horse and try to reach the house while the others fight the murderers.

  
I hear coughing among the screams, the door is locked and there are no windows, I hope I can pick the lock fast enough. I hope someone can be saved, this is a horrible death.

  
Unlocking the door, I step away from the entrance as I push it open so the smoke doesn't come straight to my face; by this point there were no more screams and I fear we're too late.

  
As I try to find signs of life among the rubble and smoke, trying my best to ignore the stench of burned meat, a barrier envelops me just before I hear a crack above me. My reflex urges me to move so I do, but the broken beam still hits my leg, making me fall and trapping my foot under the burning wood.

  
Soon the flames are extinguished, and hands I'm now so familiar with help me up and away. There is nobody to save.  
"Thank you, Solas," I say as we walk towards fresh air. "That, what those templars did, it was monstrous, Solas." I think I'm bordering shock.

  
"Yes. And they are dead now."

  
"Good." I look at him and see he is just as angry as I am. Varric is looting, Cassandra is checking the house. "To think this probably has happened so many times, and will still happen... such cruelty..." I sigh. I want to go home.

  
We stay in silence until Cassandra returns a couple of minutes later. "The mages locked themself inside for safety, then the templars set the house on fire..." She is... disappointed? Well, I guess she still held belief that these templars wouldn't be cold-blooded killers. "Apostate or not, they didn't deserve such cruelty."

  
"No... they didn't." Varric says as he approaches. "Let's return? There's nothing left here..."

  
"Yeah... let's."

 

 

We don't camp for lunch, opting for returning straight to camp to update the scouts on locations of caches, closed rifts and deliver the locks we've found. On the way back, however, we see a strange thing: a humming and glowing skull on top of a pole.

  
"What's with the skull?" Varric asks, wary of approaching. Nobody seems willing to check it out.

  
"Solas, do you mind investigating it?" I ask. "I'm no mage, and this seems quite magical to me." He doesn't seem happy with my request, strange since he was always so interested in everything magical.

  
"Of course." He walks up to the skull and does something with it, then looks through the hole on the back. I notice the glowing gem in one of the eye sockets shines brighter. After rotating the skull a few times he retreats. "The skull iluminates certain objects in the distance. I'm not familiar with this magic."

  
"Of course," Varric says with annoyance, "it had to be a skull that lights up creepy shit."

  
"One is close to camp, let us see what object it is." Solas says while marking the places where he saw the objects on the map.

 

 

" **That** 's what the skull helped you find?" Varric says, incredulity and distaste coating his words. "Right, not ominous at all."  
I can only agree with him as I stare at the weird blue shard on the ground. It has a skull embedded on its surface and tiny inscriptions in a language I don't know.

  
"Perhaps the Inquisition could determine the motive of these objects," Cassandra says, surprisingly calm.

 

"Yeah... let's see what we can discover. Maybe we should have some scouts search for these in the areas we already cleared?"

  
"Good idea, Herald." The Seeker says. "I'll take the map and send out orders."

  
"I'll go relieve myself of these locks..." I say as I walk towards the quartermaster, hoping there wouldn't be another request. Well, if there was it would have to wait, because we're leaving for Haven after lunch.


	18. Morning Activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last moments in the Hinterlands and arriving at Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, my body has been getting in the way.  
> I hope you like it.

~~~~

Since everything was pretty much fixed in the area, we don't have any trouble on our way back, and we make camp for the night on a cliff overlooking much of the hills below. It's nice to see so much green without people trying to kill each other. It was a mess when we arrived, but not anymore.

I hear Cassandra talking to the others about their stay in the Inquisition, actually their joining. Solas asked Varric about his reasons and now they're all talking about it. I honestly don't know if I would have stayed if I had the option, if the world didn't depend on me.

After I'm done eating, I head into my tent to change clothes and lay down. I'm not yet sleepy -and I would have spent the time bathing if we had access to water- but I need some time alone. Or as alone as I can be at the moment. As safer as the area is, I'm sure it's a bad idea to wander alone.

Having heard their conversation, my thoughts on the matter got me thinking further. Ever since I woke up my thoughts have been of returning to the clan. Everything I have done was to fix things so I could go back home. But the more we do, the less it seems like I'll be able to.

I'm stuck with Solas since it seems like this curse is impossible to lift. I'm becoming more of a symbol to these shems the more I get involved. That Mother Giselle spoke like I was the newest hero since the Hero of Ferelden stopped the Blight. I don't want to be a hero. I just wanted to go home and live peacefully, protect the clan from simple threats, not rifts and demons. I didn't want to have to worry about Templars killing innocent mages or mages going haywire and killing everything.

I miss waking up to birds singing in the trees, bathing in the river, sparring without worrying if the scratch I could get would kill me. I miss exploring ruins. I miss only taking orders from the Keeper or the First. I guess I could still meet my nephew -or niece- after this is all over. I wonder if Ellana would let me. Wishful thinking.

  
I wake up to hands wandering inside my clothes. Solas is hard against my back as he rubs my skin. I never thought he would do this. It seems to be the early hours of dawn and I wonder why he woke up early and in such heat.

With a moan I rub my hips against his, gaining a hiss in my ear. He pulls me closer and slides his hand inside my underpants, the only thing I'm wearing along with an undershirt. I hum in pleasure as he slides his fingers into the folds, as he cups and kneads the outer lips. The moisture is building fast and my body is getting hot. His other hand finds my breast and squeezes it before pinching the nipple, making me moan as a jolt crosses my belly to my legs. I clasp his arms in reflex and take the chance to caress them.

His fingers enter me, and I find myself moving my hips to match his thrusts, which makes me rub his hard bulge behind me. "Ah, Solas! Why this?" I'm so breathless. He bites my ear. "Awn..."

"Why not?" His voice is low on my neck, sending shivers down my body. Then he licks me, sucks me, and as if knowing I'm reaching my climax he bites me.

"Ah! Oh Creators! Ah!" I squirm against his hips, riding the orgasm on his fingers, extending it as much as possible. Solas is panting behind me, he must be about to explode. His hands leave my body to slide my underpants down. He doesn't move away though, keeping his body flush to mine. I take my hands to help him remove the clothing and soon it's halfway down my thighs.

"Stop." He says when I'm moving to get the piece of garment completely off, which puts some distance between us. I wonder why he wants us together like this. Before I can even ask, he starts lowering his own pants and I feel his length hot against my butt. Soon his hand is on my leg, pulling it up to make just enough room for him to push inside me. The underpants slide down further.

"Oh gods..." It's intense how tight it feels to have him slide inside like this. I'm so wet that it goes in easily, but it fills me so much better. I can feel his bulging veins pulsing against my walls, something I don't think I had noticed before. "Oh Solas, you feel so good..."

"As do you." He sucks my shoulder. "Sing for me, Eranen. I want to feel you trembling in my arms." He let's go of my leg to hold my breast and play with my hidden nub. I experiment letting my legs close as much as possible and he groans in my ear. He pulses so good against my skin as he moves and I wish I could have him tight like that the whole thing but I can't, I need him to move more, so I bend my leg a bit. His heartbeat on my back along with his breathing increase my pleasure in a way I couldn't have imagined.

My hands hold his arms tight as the pleasure builds and just as he asked I sing for him. There is too much stimulation, my nipple, my nub, his shaft sliding in and out. I cry out in ecstasy and clench around him many delicious times. He waits for me to recover, moving so slowly that he almost stops, but then he starts again. My mind is already hazy, my body is tingling. "Damn, oh! Oh Solas! Ah!" He is practically squeezing me whole as he pulls me closer, not once stopping his thrusts. "Fuc-oh! Oh yes! Solas that-ah!" I can't think anymore.

Suddenly he slides out, bringing me back to cold reality and missing him. "What-" before I can finish, he turns me on my back and pulls the underpants completely off. He settles in between my legs, holding me open for him, my legs on both sides of his shoulders as he pushes inside. He lowers himself over me and there is a slight pain on my hips as he pulls me closer to his body, since I'm not that flexible, but he kisses me and I forget all discomfort, basking in the pleasure of his shaft moving inside me and our mouths sucking each other.

Then he lets go of my mouth, and as he holds himself up with hands on both sides of my body, he thrusts a bit faster. I can't help the sounds and he smiles. A wicked smile. "Sing, Eranen, sing."

And I can't help it. He goes deep, he puts pressure and rubs friction in all the right places. There's some tingling on my skin that is different from before. Is this magic? Whatever it is, it's amazing. "Oh Solas, don't stop! Oh gods!" My fingers hold the bedroll hard, my mouth is dry. "Damn damn ah! Ah yes! Solas! Oh oh!"

He is gorgeous above me, panting and sweaty as he moves. I remember the sight of his cock entering me and I bet it's even better now. I would love to see it coming in and out, but I can't move. Damn this man. His arms are strong and taut, I feel him begin to lose pace, he's close. He'll spill in me. I want it more than anything. "Fill me, Solas! Deep, ah!" And it's within the next few thrusts that he jerks into me, groaning so hot, filling me. I'm not finished, and he works my nub as he's still inside me. It takes a few nudges to get me squirming and squeezing him with my walls. Then I'm limp.

Solas slips out, and I feel him settle beside me. My eyes are closed as I come back from my climax. Soon I feel his hand on my breast, caressing it. We stay in silence for a time, then I ask. "What happened?" I turn to face him and he seems so relaxed. I feel something weird then.

"You could say it was a... dream." Dream? Thankfully he elaborates. "Sometimes dreams can make one wish for sex. Thankfully you are here, wanting just as much as I."

"That I am. Delicious way to wake up." He chuckles. “I still want more... but I don't think I can move." He surprises me with a kiss.

"Insatiable." Then he nibbles on my jawline, licks my earlobe and suck the tip of my ear.

"You're not helping. Oh..." He pinches my nipple.

"I know." He takes my hand to his belly and I feel him hot and hard. "I also want more."

"Gods..." I run my hand on his slick shaft, wishing it was back inside me. "How can something be so good?"

"I could ask the same about you." His hand leaves my breast to touch my slick folds. "Your body is delectable."

"Please get inside me again." I ask before I can even think of stopping the words as I squeeze him lightly. He moves to be over me and I weakly spread my legs. He slides over my slick before pushing in, and we both moan at the contact.

We're both tired, I can tell he's tired, but we want this pleasure so much. And it's worth it, gods it's so worth it. I'm sensitive and clenching often around him, his swollen and hot shaft pulses against me continuously. Every time he moves, my body pleads for more. I think it's understandable that this time it's shorter, tired as we are, but the climax is so powerful when it hits, and this time we reach it together, my squeezing setting him off.

We are leaving in a few hours and I wonder how we're even going to get out of this tent. I see Solas is exhausted and I'm completely unable to move. "We should take it easy in the mornings." I say with a weak chuckle.

"For now."

"For now?"

"This should not be a problem in Haven." Oh. I caress his chest and hum.

"So we'll be doing it even in Haven?"

"If you wish. I also imagine you will be sparring with the soldiers."

"True." I can't even imagine how good it'll be. "I'm looking forward to it."

I doze off at some point, and wake up with Cassandra calling for us. "Let's go, Herald!"

"I'm up, I'm up!" I groan. "Damn..." I'm sticky with sweat. "Mind using that spell to clean?"

"In a moment." Solas says as he sits up.

After we're clean and dressed we go outside, finding Cassandra mad and Varric grinning. "What happened?" I ask as I go get some breakfast.

"Loud morning." Varric says. "I admit, Chuckles, I didn't think you were skilled." Is he... saying what I think he's saying? I look at Solas, who is calm as ever eating beside me.

"I am afraid I do not know what you mean, Varric."

"Why, but of course I mean your healing treatment of our dear Herald."

"Wait... did... did you-"

"Did I hear you two?" He grins. "We did. The Seeker was so red, you should have seen it- oh but then you'd miss your fun."

"Solas?" I'm shocked. "What about... the ward...?"

"I... apologize, Eranen. I forgot." Oh...

"Er... sorry for the inconvenience." I don't really know how I feel about this.

"Inconvenience?!" Varric laughs loudly, "You two made my day!"

"Enough, Varric!" Cassandra shouts from the tent she's taking down.

"Yeah... let's just... eat and leave."

And we continue in awkward silence for most of the day.

  
The way back is pretty much calm. Only twice we were attacked and we managed it without much trouble. Having Solas' seed in my body immediately healed any damage inflicted on me. And of course I would have more of it every night and morning, remembering to cast the silence ward in the tent. We had sex for precaution, and because it was immensely enjoyable.

Two days later and we arrive at Haven. The place is bursting at the seams with people and it's loud. "I'll see you later, Solas." I say as our group split ways, Varric heading towards the tavern.

"Of course." He says with a nod and continues his way to his cabin. I don't think I'll need the seed for healing, but damn, I want him again.

"What's this ruckus?!" I end up saying louder than I'd intended, annoyed as I am about the noise. Cassandra, beside me, also is annoyed if her expression is anything to go by.

"I think I have an idea. We should move to the Chantry at once."

"Yeah, let's go." We were already on the way there to discuss the events of our trip to the Hinterlands and Solas' unique healing, but I couldn't wait to find out what all the noise was about and hopefully end it.


	19. Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana suggests Cullen attempts to heal Eranen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeello. Here is the chapter I know some of you have been waiting for, and I hope it's up to your expectations. I personally think it was hilarious as I wrote some parts of it. Poor Cullen xD  
> Once again I thank you for supporting me, giving me kudos and leaving comments(they make me really happy so please leave them, I love them!) and I also noticed subscriptions and bookmarks. Thank you so much!  
> I hope you like the chapter.

Mages, Templars, curious onlookers and a poisonous Chancelor arguing in front of an annoyed Commander Cullen. That is what Cassandra and I find when we arrive at the Chantry. "What is even happening here?" The Seeker asks before I can.

"Chancelor Roderick is antagonizing the mages, pining our Templars against them." Cullen says.

"Why am I not surprised?" I turn to watch the Chancelor, "You think you are important, here, protected inside the Chantry walls, you think you're accomplishing something by putting these people against each other and destabilizing the Inquisition. You think if you do this, you'll have your trial on me and be rewarded by your beloved clerics in Val Royeaux. Well, Chancellor, you're wrong. You're nothing. And these people will find their understanding because they need this to work. And it's going to work. I'll do my best to make sure it does."

"We don't need to worry if that's how you're facing the clerics." Cullen says with a brief smile. "Disperse, everybody. We have work to do and so do you." The people don't look happy, especially the mages, but the Commander has spoken, and they'll obey. "Now, I suppose we should meet in the War Room?"

"Yeah. We were heading there when we found this." I answer as we go inside the building, leaving the Chancelor behind.

"It's been almost a daily event since you left. The Chancelor tries, but he's toothless. I am not even sure he is sane anymore, trying to instigate more animosity inside the village. Was it not enough what they went through during this war?" He sighs. "Forgive me, I was not trying to begin a lecture."

"No worries, Commander. You're right, there has been too much violence already." I say with a gentle smile. This here is a good shem, and from the look on his face, a shy one. He looks so different red like that, he's so focused among his troops.

We get to the War Room, where Leliana and Josephine are already in and talking. By their laughs I take it it's not work related. I'm surprised to see that relaxed and refreshed expression in the Spymaster's face; it seems she can be just like a normal woman. "Welcome back, Herald." Josephine greets me. "We have much to discuss."

"Yes. We should sit, this will be long." Cassandra says and I nod, taking my place around the table.

"Let us start with your task, Mother Giselle has already arrived and sent the necessary letters for a meeting in Val Royeaux." The Ambassador says as she looks at her papers. "You will part in a week, so you have time to rest and resupply."

"Sure. Sounds good to me."

"The apostates and rebel templars' actions in the Hinterlands is now almost null, you did a great job there." Leliana says. "The rifts you have closed also allowed us to move around the area, and we got news from a Grey Warden there. We'll need you to talk to him."

"Leliana, this theory of yours-" Cullen interrupts.

"Is as good as any. We should check it. His name is Blackwall, the Grey Wardens disappeared a few months before the Divine was murdered, Grey Wardens don't simply vanish, even without a Blight. He might know something and we need you to talk to him."

"Why me?"

"You're the Herald of Andraste, he won't refuse talking to you."

"You sound sure of it." She simply gives me a smile. "Fine... I take it I should do this _after_ Val Royeaux?" She nods. "Alright, but I'm coming here before leaving, Orlais is far and full of- stressful people to deal with."

"That it is..." Cullen murmurs.

"Now, Herald, please explain to us what this special healing method of yours consists of." Josephine says, calmly as ever. "Cassandra's note did not elaborate."

"Eh... well... it's uh... basically..." They frown and look to each other, but I don't really know how to explain this. "It's uh... Solas discovered in the Fade a ritual that allowed him to heal me."

"Yes, he told me as much." Cullen says.

"Well, to be able to heal me I need to absorb... er..." I look at Cassandra and she's red as an apple watching attentively a figurine on the table. "Well... I need to... Creators... I thought this would be simpler to explain." I take a deep breath and decide to say it all at once. "I-need-to-drink-his-seed-or-lay-with-him." The silence is deep, and when I look at them I see that each and every one of them has confused faces.

"You mean-" Josephine begins, but is interrupted.

"You _can't_ mean..." Cullen says.

"You heard it correctly." Cassandra says and all attention turns to her. "We saw it. Me and Varric."

"What?!" Cullen almost stands up from the chair. "That is absurd! Nobody can be healed with that! He is taking advantage!"

"No, Cullen. He is not." The Seeker insists, still watching the figurine. "She was unconscious, bleeding and nearly dead. He... brought her back. She glowed and healed."

"Just... _how_ exactly was what you saw? What?! We must know! For reference!" Josephine adds after getting pointed look from Cullen and an amused one from Leliana.

"He... uh... Maker... you must know, I also thought he was taking advantage, I thought he was about to rape her, as did Varric. I would probably have cut him down if she wasn't healed right then... with his..." she clears her throat, "manhood in her mouth."

"Maker's breath!" Cullen's hand goes straight to his face, hiding it. I see Leliana with a frown as she works the implications of what she just heard. Cassandra is impossibly redder and Josephine has bright eyes. I can't believe this Antivan woman, she's enjoying this.

"Of course nobody must discover about this." Josephine says.

"Of course." They all say in unison.

"Are we sure it only works with him as he claims?" Leliana asks, face still thoughtful. "Perhaps we should try it? A different source of... essence?"

"He assures us it's the ritual he went through," Cassandra says, "and that he can't teach it to another person."

"We should make sure he isn't putting himself in a position of privilege, making us think he is irreplaceable. We don't know much about him, he could be trying to secure himself in the Inquisition." Sharp Leliana, I thought about that too. "But we also cannot let this leave this room, nobody can know her weakness." She turns sharply to Cullen, who is still hiding his blushing face in his hand as he watches the floor. "Cullen, I'd like to suggest you try this."

"What?!" I say in unison with him.

"This is absurd, Leliana! You can't be serious!"

"She's right, if you could heal her we would not be dependant of Solas' help." Josephine says.

"You do know what you're suggesting, right?!" Cullen insists.

"I do." Is all the Spymaster offers and he looks at me. He looks _at_ _ **me**_!

"Hey, I don't want this either. It was already weird getting used to Solas." He hides his face again. Creators, I don't know what to do... Leliana has a point, but this is too awkward.

"Even if it works, Cullen cannot travel with us." Cassandra says.

"If it works with him it might work with another, we would just need to find a trustworthy ally." Leliana says as if it's the most normal thing in the world to discuss this. Would she have me drink from people I don't even know? Gods... no!

"Don't I have a say in this?" I finally get the words out.

"Of course, but I thought you would like to have options in how to heal yourself." Leliana says with a tilted head, damn woman is playing me. "If you depend solely on Solas it might be bad for you. Or do you intend on being attached to him at all times?" That actually wouldn't be bad... he attaches so well to me... damn thoughts! "Oh? Perhaps you have developed feelings for him?" Feelings? No!

"Of course not! It's just... I got used to him already."

"If you refuse, of course we cannot force you. Unless of course you are in risk of dying and Solas is not nearby." I sigh at her words. They really want to try this. Damn it. But... maybe... now that I think about this... would his... no, stop this. But what if it works and it tastes good too? It's my turn to hide my face in my hands. Stupid thoughts... What has happened to me?

"Fine... I... I'm willing to try."

"Splendid!" Josephine cheers and I'm forced to look at her, noticing everybody did too. "It's a reason to celebrate, if it works then we have options!"

"You are too interested in this, Josie." Leliana says, and surprisingly enough, Josephine chuckles. I guess I don't really know these people. The Spymaster turns to Cullen. "How do you prefer doing this, Cullen?" She asks with a damn smirk! She's also enjoying this! I look at Cassandra and she's the only person aside from me who seems bothered, no, she's _mortified_ by the situation. And Cullen, the man looks like he's about to die.

"I... I cannot do this." Cullen says, desperate. Poor man. "This is just wrong!"

"What if she is dying, Cullen?"

"Leliana- I... this is absurd! Maker help us! Why would she require this sort of treatment?!"

"It's the mark." I say. "It started after I got the mark."

"And the mark is from Andraste, so you have the divine duty of healing our Herald." Josephine says, getting shocked looks from everyone.

"I think you have been reading too much of Varric's books." Cullen says, bitterly, then sighs. "But you're right, are you not?" He rubs his hand on his nape. "I..."

"You won't be able to give her anything if you think this is so horrible, Cullen." Leliana says with a smirk, and the man sinks further in the chair.

"You are evil, Leliana." He murmurs.

"So, tell us." The Spymaster turns to me. "Do you simply drink it?"

"It depends on the level of injury... if it's light enough just drinking it suffices, even from a spoon."

"A... spoon?"

"Yes. Solas has given it to me on a spoon a couple of times."

"See, Cullen, it gets easier for you."

"Easier?! I-" he sighs and I just continue.

"If the injury is a bit more severe I need his... direct touch... in my mouth."

"It's what we witnessed." Cassandra says. "But it wasn't enough..."

"No, he told me that time I was too injured for simply... sucking him." I get a gasp from the others but I ignore it. "The fastest and more efficient way of being healed would be to lay with him, but I... well... I wasn't prepared for that... so I had to suck him multiple times."

"Who would have thought he possessed such stamina." Leliana says, getting a disgusted noise from Cassandra, a desperate sigh from Cullen and a gasped 'Indeed' from Josephine.

"And well... if I'm still under its effects when I'm injured, I heal automatically."

"What a curious thing!"

"I have heard of the power of love being capable of healing but never... sex." Josephine says.

"Anything else we should know?" Leliana asks.

"I don't think so?"

"Cullen? Ready yet?" He is completely alarmed by her question.

"You insist?"

"We need to know, and it's not like _we_ can do something about it. You are the only man. She's willing..."

"Stop it there. It's not just- it's- damn this."

"Maybe we should leave the two of them alone?" Josephine suggests.

"You know that's not necessary." I say. "He could just go and well... do the thing and bring it to me."

"Maker... this must be a nightmare."

"You are quite awake, Commander." Leliana says, still smirking. How can she enjoy teasing him so much?

"Cassandra, you can't possibly agree to this." I guess she's his last hope?

"I do not... but sometimes we must do what we do not agree with for the greater good." She sighs and I see the colour draining from his face. That right there is the look of doom. He feels doomed. And I feel bad for him. It reminds me of when I discovered what I must do to survive, back when I barely knew Solas, when I couldn't trust him. Well, I still don't fully trust him, but he's willing to keep me alive and treats me well.

"Fine. You win." He stands up. "I'll return when I'm... done. Maker's breath..." He leaves the room with his head down.

"This is so improper..." Cassandra says.

"Nobody can ever discover this, and I will make sure of it." Leliana says.

"The Inquisition's reputation is safe, and yours, of course." Josephine says looking at me. "Do you think this is the first time I deal with possible scandals? Nothing bad will happen."

"I'm worried about the Commander." I say, because this is what really worries me. I couldn't care less about my reputation. They're shems, to them I'm already bad. "He is suffering with this idea."

"He has been through many hardships." Cassandra says.

"And this is a good opportunity for him to loosen up." Leliana adds.

"I'm not sure this will work."

"Maybe not. He's too tense after all." The Spymaster says. "I _would_ offer help but that only would make things worse."

"I don't think any of us can help him." Cassandra says.

"Our dear Herald could, if she wanted." Josephine says, getting a surprised look from Cassandra but not from Leliana. "If she pushed just the right buttons I believe she could break through his defenses." She turns to me, "You have seen it too, have you not? The way he is around you?"

"Cullen has a soft spot for beautiful elven ladies." Leliana explains, confirming my suspicion about his blushing.

"I still don't think this would have worked." The Seeker says. "He is a respectful man, loyal and gentle. He has resisted much in the Circle and I am afraid this just has brought back memories he'd rather forget."

"You admire him." I say.

"I do. He is a good friend." Maybe more? Well, not my business. Although if this works it might get in their way. No... I trust Solas that this won't work. Wait, do I? Solas is a suspicious man after all. Being busy in the Hinterlands and clouded by desire stopped me from analyzing things properly, but I haven't forgotten his odd behavior. He hides much more than he knows. And he knows a great many things. Maybe this is another thing he is hiding?

"We should discuss serious topics instead of speculating about him." I end up saying, needing something to ground me before I end up lost in thoughts I cannot share with these people.

"Agreed." Cassandra says, quickly.

"Well," Josephine turns to her paper, "we got an invitation for you, the Herald, to travel to the Storm Coast and watch The Iron Bull's Chargers at work. His second in command, Cremisius Aclasi, should still be in the tavern if you wish to discuss this with him personally."

"The... Iron Bull?"

"Precisely."

"I have been asking around," Leliana says, "he is a famous Qunari mercenary, his band is one of the respectable ones. They don't break contracts."

"Hm. And he wants to join us? What's next? Pirates?"

"We never know. And we actually need all the help we can get, so I think you should go check on him."

"Alright. I'll do that before or after visiting Blackwall?"

"I would suggest seeing to Blackwall first. We need to know what happened to the Grey Wardens, and The Iron Bull should stay in the Storm Coast for a while."

"Understood."

"Cullen was supposed to explain this one, but since he is... busy, well. We got an odd report saying a group of scouts has been taken by an Avaar tribe down south. They were there investigating rifts in the area and we lost contact, only to receive an odd message later."

"This sounds more urgent than meeting with those people."

"If true, nothing will happen to our people. Their leader wants to talk to you." Leliana says. "They are holding our scouts hostages, dead hostages are useless."

"But how long do you think they're willing to wait for me?"

"They want you, they'll wait." Well, if she's so sure.

"We also were contacted by your Clan. Would you like to send a message back?" My Clan?

"Well..."

"We could send them resources as a gesture of good will." Leliana suggests.

"Yeah, the Clan could always use help. I... I don't want to say anything yet, just... just send them herbs they can't find in Wycome if possible."

"Understood." Josephine says as she scribbles down. "We also have reports of those odd shards you found in the Hinterlands. We could collect all that you marked and we are trying to identify its meaning."

"Scouts reported the discovery of two more of those skulls, but they have not attempted to interact with it."

"Best to be safe than sorry. When I return there I'll have Solas check them out."

"That is all for now." Josephine says.

"And Cullen still hasn't returned." Leliana says as she watches the door.

"He might not make it." Cassandra points out.

"Maybe we should leave this for another time? I'm hungry."

"If he isn't able he will send a message. We should wait." Leliana insists.

"I could use a bath too..."

"As could I..." Cassandra says with a sigh.

An uncomfortable silence stretches for a few minutes, interrupted by the door opening and revealing a mortified and utterly red Cullen. I notice he is carrying a bundle. "Maker... I... well... here it is." Poor man.

"Thank you, Cullen." I say, trying to be gentle. "I know this was hard for you."

"It should have been, lest it doesn't work." Leliana says and the gasp coming from Cassandra and Cullen is just enough to make me realize what I have said.

"I don't mean-"

"I know. Just... take it and be done with this." He offers me the bundle and as I take it from his hand he immediately retreats to his chair, sitting down and covering his face with his hands as if that could protect him from whatever shame he feels right now.

"Knife?" I ask and they all look at me with shocked faces. "How else do you think I could see if it works? I need to be hurt."

"Here." Leliana pops one out of her belt as quickly as a blink of an eye and I take it from her.

Removing the fabric around whatever item Cullen has put his seed, I encounter a bowl with a few drops of white liquid. Either he missed much of it or his distress was too strong to produce much. Well, this much should be enough for a scratch. Creators... this is so awkward. I can feel the eyes of the advisors on me, but I try to ignore it. I make a small cut on the top of my finger, big enough to be noticeable but not enough to be painful or cause me trouble. I know if this doesn't work I would still need Solas, otherwise this small cut will become a gash and Creators only know what could come afterwards. I place the knife on the table and run a finger on the drops, trying to collect as much as I can. This is too awkward... if I wasn't already down in an unbelievable situation with Solas I think I could never do this as calmly. Alright, time to taste it, and see if it works. Watching the blood dripping from my other finger, I lick the one with Cullen's seed. The taste is different, but still not unpleasant. I prefer Solas' nonetheless. One, two, three... ten seconds pass and nothing happens. Twenty seconds pass and nothing. Thirty.

"It should have done something by now." I say, finally looking at the people around me. They are watching me with full attention, it's uncomfortable. Especially considering what I just did. Well... this is my life now: awkward. "I... don't think it works."

"Oh, what a pity." Leliana says. "It seems Solas is the only one after all. I am sorry, Cullen, but we had to know."

"Now please let us pretend this never happened." Cullen says and I could bet he wants to run away and never look at us again.

"You should see Solas." Cassandra says.

"Yes... before this escalates into an ugly wound." I say as I stand up. "Can I uh... nevermind." I'll ask in the tavern myself. "Don't worry, Cullen. This never happened." He nods with a sigh.

And after a few words of farewell I make my way to the tavern, so I can ask dinner to be delivered to Solas' home in about an hour. I'm very hungry but I can wait, I need this wound to close and I want his taste on my tongue, not Cullen's. I wonder what he would do if I told him about what just happened? I guess it's a good way to find out his thoughts on the matter, if he would feel like people don't trust him. After everything he has done to help it should annoy him. I suppose I should find out his reaction, see if he shows some more of that part of him he is hiding. I need to know the man my life is bound to after all.

 


	20. Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen tells Solas about the advisors experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter <3  
> Thank you for commenting, it brightens my day! <3

The village was in uproar. It was the first thing Solas noticed when they arrived at Haven. Mages and their sympathizers were arguing against Templars and mage-haters. The reason for that could be many, and he had better things to do than to get involved. Furthermore, the Seeker and Eranen would take care of it.

Inside his cabin everything was in order, just as he had left it. Not that he had anything important to protect, but it was relieving to know people were beginning to trust him enough not to tinker with his place in search of answers, which they had done in the first week he arrived. Solas supposed his role in keeping the Herald alive also helped.

A bath was not necessary, but it was comfortable, and after so long on the road, he welcomed any bit of comfort he could have. As his sore muscles relaxed in the warm -even if small- tub, his thoughts wandered to Eranen. She would come by after dealing with the War Council, and he wondered what their reaction would be. Perhaps they would send for him to give further explanation, to inquire about his choice in keeping the entire truth hidden, but it wasn't a concern. They needed him, no other could keep the Herald alive. _I should mind not to become careless_. Being overconfident could draw suspicion, and he needed to be inconspicuous.

He wondered if her visit would simply be a social one, perhaps to discuss whatever transpired in the meeting, or if it would include a rather enjoyable activity. When he was reminded of the safeguard it never occurred to him that they would make a habit of her healing procedure. Especially when his first thought was to keep it a secret. And now the Inquisition's Council would know of it. Solas wondered if they would try to make sure it was something only he could do. He had an idea of how much things could escalate if people outside the Inner Circle knew of it, and Cassandra made clear her wish to keep it hidden from others. If they tried to find an alternative they would do so among themselves, which meant involving Varric, who already knew, or Commander Cullen. Solas could not stop a treacherous smile creeping up on his face as he imagined the easily flustered Commander being asked to help the Herald. But to his surprise, imagining Eranen being directly helped by the man bothered him. It shouldn't bother him. She meant nothing to him. Once again he regretted accepting her proposal. It was leading to dangerous waters, and he saw little way of escaping without creating more trouble. No matter how long he has lived, it would seem he still kept making mistakes, in every aspect of his life and around him.

 

Solas is checking his notes about the artifacts he could locate in the Fade while in the Hinterlands when someone knocks on his door. He is not surprised to see Eranen standing there, but she looks worried. "Come in." He makes way for her to enter and waits for the woman to say something. He could ask, but prefers not.

"Do you..." Eranen looks around, "have water?" _A most curious request_.

"Yes." He walks to the small dining table and collects the water bottle and a cup, offering the latter to her quietly then filling it after she takes the cup from him. "You may sit if you wish." She seems unsure, but sits on one of the chairs by his writing table.

Curiously enough, she takes some time with the water in her mouth, as if... _Is she washing her mouth?_ The Herald then swallows the entire content of the cup before asking for more. "The meeting went better than expected," she finally says after handing him the empty cup back.

"Oh? Did they accept the situation?" _As if they had another option._ Solas places the bottle and cup back on the other table and joins the woman on the chair next to her.

"Not at first," she crosses her arms on the table and continues. "They don't really believe you're the only one capable of healing me."

"Is that so?"

"I don't know if they'll insist on it, I wouldn't put it past the Spymaster to keep searching, but... their eh... attempt with the Commander failed."

"As it was expected." She nods. "I assume you are injured?" She shows him her hand then, the cut on the tip of her finger not large enough for blood to flow, but Solas knows it will not stay that way for long.

"I..." she sighs, "I thought it would be easier to tell them, you know, after everything? But it was quite hard."

"It is a sensitive subject."

"The Commander was reluctant to collaborate too, it took a lot of convincing, and even then I thought he wouldn't be able to do it."

Solas finds himself afraid of the answer to his question. "What do you mean?"

"He took very long to return to the room with his... seed." _So he did not touch her_.

"At least he proved able to do what is needed to help you, even if it did not work in the end."

"Yeah... if you put it that way. Leliana thinks I should have options to heal me."

"If only it was possible, it would be wise."

"Solas..."

"Yes?"

"Are you really that incapable of teaching the ritual to another?" She looks him in the eyes as if looking directly at his spirit, and not for the first time he notices she is a sharp woman. Shemlen she may be, but she has a bright mind.

"Unfortunately it is not possible." Which is the truth. The ritual could be replicated, but not on her, not on the Anchor currently on her hand. "Would you like to have more men at your disposal?" He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, but surprisingly enough, she doesn't look offended.

"Nah, you do a really good job." And there she is, tempting him even without realizing. "It's just that, you'll have to come wherever I go while we're in the Inquisition, and after... after I really don't know." She bites her lips then. Is it regret? Did she let slip more than she intended? She is vulnerable right then, and he has the perfect opportunity to keep her at his side, as his ally.

"You can trust me to help you." She seems surprised.

"That... would you really help me forever, Solas?"

"Your life is bound to mine, I could hardly abandon you. The fate of the world rests in your hand and... so far your company has been quite enjoyable. I do not see why I would not continue to help you."

"Even... even if I decided to return to my clan?"

"That... would be a complication. I doubt they would accept my presence." _Among other reasons_.

"Yes... I imagine they wouldn't. But... where would you go? I would have to follow you wherever you went then."

"I suppose it would depend on what the Inquisition will accomplish." _And on the Orb's retrieval._

"Right... if the Circles are reinstated you'll be an apostate." She takes a deep breath. "I hope this awful title of Herald helps to make at least that right and the mages can be free."

"That would be a welcome change."

"Solas..."

"Yes?"

"Do you..." she sighs. "Nevermind. I need healing."

"That you do. How do you wish to be healed?"

"I... can I drink you? I want your taste instead of his." Those words Solas definitely did not expect.

"How could I deny the wish of the Herald of Andraste?" He says with a smirk she answers with a lick of her lips.

She starts unlacing his pants as she speaks. "If my title can get you naked for me whenever I want, then I won't curse it as much." Noticing his arousal, she hums in what Solas identifies as delight. "And you're always ready too." Scooching her chair closer, Eranen lowers her head to lick the tip of his cock. Solas takes one hand to her beautiful locks and begins caressing her head while she licks the length of him. The little amount of precum is enough to give her the characteristic healing glow, and it gives him the satisfaction of knowing she is swallowing his seed. More than anything, he is warmed by her confession that she prefers him to the Commander. She had already voiced her pleasure in swallowing his seed, but she had no other to compare. Now she does, and she likes him better. He is proud of himself, and excited to fill her mouth. She is hungry as always, she still needs to learn the benefit of waiting, of taking it slow, but right now Solas does not mind. It is quick, but pleasurable nonetheless, and she sucks and swallows every drop left of him. Her smile as she licks him clean giving him enormous delight. "And delicious too."

Still caressing her hair, purposefully touching her ear on the process, he says, "You should be careful with the compliments."

"Why?" She licks her lips, making it harder for him to get out of the trail she has put him on. "It's only us in here. No Cassandra to complain or interrupt us." Her hand goes to her armor and she looks at him expectantly. "There is food coming, but it should be a while yet. Do you... want to do more?" She begins unbuckling her belt.

"I do want to taste you." His hand moves down to caress her cheek with his knuckles. "And to be inside your slick heat as you squeeze me when you tremble under my body." Her sharp intake of breath, which could easily be considered a hiss, tells him he had the desired effect on her.

"Do you mind casting that spell on me? I don't want to waste time with a bath." She rushedly removes her shirt, then begins to work on unhooking the metal from her armor. Solas chuckles at the sight of her desperate to have him, and taken by the urge to feel her soft lips on his, he holds her jaw in place while hungrily kissing her, sucking her lower lip and rejoicing in her tongue on his as she opens her mouth to kiss him back. He doesn't stop the kiss to cast the spell on her, but sucks her tongue with clear desire, leaving her breathless when they part.

The mage stands up, and as he removes his tunic the rogue continues desperately to work on her clothes. Once again he finishes undressing first, but this time he helps her. While she is still busy with the armor, he undoes the footwraps. "I'm getting rid of this armor tomorrow," she complains as she stands up to remove the pants. "It hasn't done much to protect me and gets in the way to healing." _A perfect excuse._ "I'll miss the design though." Solas would not mind having her naked all the time.

"I am sure you can convince them to give you something worthy of their Herald." Solas says as he holds her naked waist and slowly leads her towards the bed, opening the bedroom's door with his magic. When her calves touch the wood she sits down and he kneels in between her legs, sitting on his ankles afterwards. As if reading his mind, she moves closer to the edge, and as his hands travel up her legs, he takes both her thighs to wrap around his neck. "Lay down." She does, showing to him her hidden spot, glistening and waiting.

He touches her first, feeling and seeing how her body shivers and goosebumps appear on every surface. His finger slides effortlessly between her folds, and his attempt to enter her is rewarded with a sudden clench of her hot walls along with a moan. Solas plays with her, running his two fingers up and down, not yet reaching her nub. The sound produced whenever he collects more slick is lewd and contributes to his arousal. He can't wait to be inside of her, but he wants her on his mouth first. Her moans of pleasure are music to his ears, and he wants her louder. Thankfully he will not need to cast any wards, his cabin already has runes for silence. "Solas-ah!" He doesn't let her finish; before she can continue he takes his mouth to her nub and sucks, tasting her delicious juices and feeling her warm and soft flesh on his tongue.

The sight of her squirming, desperately holding the covers, her mouth slightly open to voice her pleasure, her small breasts moving with her breathing; all of it makes his blood run hotter, faster, and pool in a very special area of his body. He wants her, he cannot deny that fact. _And it is pure lust_ , he tells himself. She had him come in her mouth not long ago, and he is already hard and aching while sucking her nub and sliding his fingers in and out of her wet entrance. He used to be a patient man; after all, his women had time to spare. Lately, time is a luxury they may not have -with the war, with how quick her people age- and it has rubbed on him: the impatience. He wants her, to feel his throbbing length slide into her, to be squeezed by her muscles as she cries in pleasure, to feel her hands tighten around him piercing his skin with her nails, to bite into her shoulder as his seed fills her innermost place. His thoughts are interrupted by her climax, by her legs moving uncontrolled around his neck. As her body trembles, he licks her, slowly removing his fingers from inside of her.

Solas stands up, carefully moving her legs from his shoulders to his waist as he climbs the bed. "How many more times do you want to come?" He asks her, his voice deep and low with desire. "Two? Until night falls?" Eranen moves to accommodate them both on the small bed, keeping her legs beside his body as he settles on top of her, both of his arms beside hers. He slides his finger in between her legs to make a point and she hisses, taking her hands to his shoulders.

"As many times as possible? Is that a valid answer?"

"It is, although I am curious how many you think you can handle." The mage lowers his mouth to her breast while running his finger in circles around her nub. He licks her and notices his touches are not allowing her to answer him. He does not mind, he doesn't really believe her able to know her own limits. She never had to reach them, after all. He would gladly discover it with her. Sucking her nipple, he pushes against her clit and works her faster. Her recent orgasm could make this one arrive sooner, and he wants her dripping wet for when he finally slides into her. It takes much of his willpower to resist her when she's so passionate under him, rubbing her legs and hands on his body, panting and crying out in pleasure. The pleasure _he_ is giving her, not the Commander, not any other man.

She breaks under him, with a stuttered cry and her nails piercing him deep on the shoulders as her legs clench around his waist so she has enough purchase to pull her body against his hand harder. He lets her have it, rubbing and pushing his finger on her nub until all the pleasure has coursed through her body. Surprisingly enough, when she is recovered she looks even hungrier than before. Solas cannot resist anymore, and leaves her breast to kiss and suck her neck while he gets her legs around his hips. His cock is painfully hard, his balls are tight and he is almost sure he will not be able to last long once he enters her, his desire is too much, his need is overwhelming. He effortlessly slides between her folds, she is just as he wanted her, and he cannot wait any longer. Positioning his cock on her entrance with the help of his hand, he looks into her eyes when he pushes inside. His hand moves to hold her butt so he can move his hips exactly how he wants against her.

"Solas... how... how can you be so... good?" Her voice is weak, but the shine in her eyes shows him she is anything but tired, and she's hungry for more. This woman will be the death of him. He hasn't felt so alive since he was still young and foolish, and she brightens his old and guilty spirit each time more than the last. "Gods... you're so... hot... ah! Yes! That- oooh yes..." He wants her to come around him many times, as many times as possible before their meal arrives, so he will need a spell to keep him steady, to help him hold it back. He is rusty to do it all by himself, without magic to help. So before he can continue to torture her with pleasure, he lets the spell run through his body, making sure he will be able to follow through with his plan.

Eranen is fire under him, pulling him closer, rubbing her body against his, scratching her nails on his skin. She has learned to help his movements with her own, and her hips move to match his. Solas knows he would have filled her by now, he is bursting with the pleasure her body gives her, with her slight contractions, with her heat, with her sounds. Her moans are music he wishes he would never stop playing. And as her climax takes her again, this time he temporarily loses sight of her beauty as her walls clench around him. Once she comes back she says, "Oh gods... I... I'll make an offering... to the Dread Wolf the next time... we come... by a shrine." He groans at her words, pushing deeper into her.

"Yes? What for?" He licks her neck, sucking her earlobe next. It is always amusing to him how easily it is to break her concentration during sex.

"Oh, oh, ah! For- for... ah! For getting me to meet you." Could she be that thankful for it? He knows he has given her good times, it is the least he could do after ruining her life. He wonders yet again if she'll be that thankful once she discovers the truth.

His breath is ragged, but he manages to speak. "Would it not make him feel like he failed? It is, after all, a curse."

"Curse, blessing... I don't ca-ah! I don't care uhmmm... damn, this is goo-Uh! good..." _Yes, it is_.

He doesn't try for conversation anymore, focusing instead in bringing her to pleasure again, and again. And only after she is almost limp under his body he decides to lift the spell and make her come one last time. And this time, as she squeezes him with the last of her strength, he fills her. For a few seconds he does not hear anything, does not see anything, he only feels his heartbeat pumping his blood and the pleasure coursing through every nerve ending on his body. It does not surprise him to realize he had filled her to the point of overflowing. She likes the sight, however, surprising him once again.

Laying beside her, revelling in the afterglow and the satisfaction of knowing he has completely ruined her, Solas almost falls asleep. And he probably would have, since Eranen was blissfully caressing his chest with a silly smile on her face, if it weren't for the knock on the door interrupting their calm moment. "A moment!" He says before the person puts him in a foul mood with the noise. With a groan of pure displeasure, he sits up and walks to the main area of the cabin so he can put back his clothes and see to the door.

 


	21. A Day in Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eranen spends the day doing some stuff around Haven and meets some people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the wait.  
> So many shit happened since I last updated that I can't even remember, but they were bad and annoying. Right at this time I'm injured with burns(because I was reckless in the kitchen and hot oil splashed on me) that keep blistering because I'm melting in this damn hot weather. I fcking hate heat! Urgh... T_T  
> Anyway... I bring you a chapter, and I hope you like it.  
> Thank you very much for your support! It wouldn't be the same without it <3  
> I'd love to hear some nice words from you, I could really use them in this hell I'm in right now...  
> Oh and chapter is longer, 5.3k words because some things insisted on happening and I didn't want to change my chapter count and split this one. I hope you don't mind :)

I was like water, there was no other way to describe how I felt. I never thought Solas could make me feel like this, it was nothing like our previous times together. And the way he looked at me, completely relaxed without a hint of worry on his face, I could barely relate it to the apostate who usually was beside me. Seeing him like that, it warmed my heart and I couldn't help smiling at him. We would probably have fallen asleep if nobody interrupted us, but it seems the food had arrived.

 

Even sitting up is difficult, with the way my muscles are so relaxed, but I manage. I don't think I can get over to the table though, my legs are too wobbly. I can hear Solas talking to someone by the door, then the sound of the door closing. Soon he is entering the bedroom again, and he brings a tray with two bowls and two bread loafs.

"I did not expect you to be able to stand." I guess he read my questioning look, but his answer is accompanied by such a smug face that I wish I could stand just to prove him wrong. I resign myself to a shrug and an apologetic smile.

"Thank you for bringing it to me. Although... the state I'm in _is_ your fault; it is just fair you make up for it." I say as I take the bowl and place it on my lap.

"Indeed." He says as he takes his own bowl and places the tray on the end of the bed, giving me one of the loafs afterwards. "And I would do it again." He adds with a side glance. "In fact, were you not so visibly tired I would forgo dinner." His bluntness shocks me.

"Aren't you tired?" My question makes him smile.

"Momentarily."

The few times I heard about couples it was usually mentioned they couldn't do it repeatedly. I wonder if his endurance is due to the ritual he went through in order to be able to heal me. After all, if he couldn't do it many times it would make my supply of... potion quite limited. I have to admit hearing him say those words makes me happy, after all who wouldn't be? He desires me as much as I desire him, and he is willing to act on such desires. Not long ago I was uncomfortable, thinking he wouldn't do it with me, that I was annoying him. Back then I could never imagine he would tell me such a thing.

We eat in silence, and I can see he is quite lost in his own thoughts. After we are done, he puts the bowls in the tray and takes it to the other room. Eating has made me drowsy, and combined with the relaxed state of my body, I don't think I could do anything more tonight aside from sleeping. I should probably clean up, however. I can see the smudges of his seed on my thighs, which is something that never happened before. I wonder why this time was different. I try to stand, but my body isn't helping. I hope he won't mind using that spell on me. I lay down and I think I've never felt these covers so soft before, they caress my skin and I just want to snuggle and close my eyes.

 

I wake up to find myself in Solas' arms. He is behind me and one of his arms is across my middle, holding me close. This feels... good. I notice I'm clean so he used the spell even without my request. I suppose I fell asleep as soon as I laid down. I feel funny, a feeling I've never felt before. I... don't think I want to leave his arms. I wrap my arms around his and pull it closer, it definitely makes me feel a warm thing in my chest. I hold his hand and look at it, really look at it for the first time. Long, slender fingers, trimmed nails. I think I never saw a man take care of himself so well. His palm was always soft and now I see it's because there are no calluses. He usually has fingerless gloves on whenever we're on the field, so I wonder if the smoothness is due to some spell he knows. My people can't keep such smooth skin, even the First or the Keeper.

"Is something wrong with my hand?" His rough voice from sleep blows against my ear and makes me shiver.

"Er, no, just... I was admiring it."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They're beautiful hands, and they're smooth. How do you keep them smooth?" I ask while running my thumb across the valleys and mounds of his palm.

"Healing." Oh. He holds my hand and caresses it, surprising me. "Do you want me to cast it on your hands? You will need gloves if I do."

"I suppose I can get some gloves with the blacksmith." Removing my calluses would allow me to feel him better, wouldn't it? "Do... the roughness bother you?"

"No." Hmm.

"Do it, please." I feel a warm tingling on my palm and I see the rough patches disappearing, leaving pink skin in it's place. And just as I thought, I can feel his touch much better, and just his simple caress sends that good sparkling sensation through my body. He does the same to my other hand and as soon as he's done I caress his arm once more, enjoying the feel of his skin against my sensitive palms. "It's good."

"What is?" He still sounds so sleepy. Did I wake up too early? The curtain is covering the window so I don't know what time it is.

"To feel you now." He takes a deep breath against my neck, which sends a shiver through my spine, and pulls me even closer to his body, making me feel his hardness against my butt. "Hmm. Do you want to do it?" I find myself pushing my butt against him, and stop it as soon as I realize it.

"Do you?" His hand escape my hold and wander down my belly to my hips, making my breath catch.

"Yes." I say with ragged breath, anticipating his touch. And soon enough his hand is on my mound, slipping between my folds and making me sigh in pleasure. "Oh... why... why do I want this so much?"

"Because it's good." Oh Creators, that it is.

His leg gets in between both of mine, pushing them open from behind and his finger slips further into the folds, playing with the wetness forming there. It's slow but so good. His lips soon find my neck and he kisses, then licks the sensitive skin. The sensation of his mouth on my neck along with his touch in between my legs build the pleasure quickly. "Oh Solas... oh... Let... let me touch you too... ah!"

"Later." He sucks my neck and I feel like I'll melt in this bed. Then I feel his other hand behind my back positioning his shaft in between my legs and the anticipation to feel him inside me again is just so great. Strong pleasure courses through my muscles as soon as the tip enters me and I cry out. "Hmm. Yes. Sing. For me." He punctuates his words with open mouth kisses then bites my neck as he pushes inside. He groans as I squeeze his member inside me but doesn't stop pushing, only slows it. "You fit me so well... it's amazing inside you." Damn it's amazing to have _him_ inside me. "I cannot have enough." I can't either... damn this is too good... I'm so close again... His hand never stops touching my nub as he slides his hard and so hot length in and out. Solas holds me tighter and his movements seem to hit a spot that's just so much better than anything he's done so far... how can it keep surprising me? How can it get better the more we do it?

"Oh Solas... so good... so good... ah... yes... oh... oh please don't stop..."

It's not long before everything blurs as the most powerful pleasure takes me. I think I screamed. His hand move away from my mound to caress my lower belly but he doesn't slip out of me yet. I'm thankful for that, it's so good to feel him there. His teeth ease from my shoulder as he groans against my neck and I feel heat coursing through me again. I guess as long as my body doesn't tire I will always want more... too bad I have so much to do today. "Eranen..." He kisses my neck and nuzzles it, surprising me. "You are delicious." I can't help an amused chuckle.

"You're irresistible, Solas." To think I used to believe I wouldn't be interested in him... it's hard now to see how I could _not_ be interested. I want to face him, to kiss him, but doing so would get him out of me, and I don't want to. I want him there for as long as possible. "You make me feel so good... Creators... _you_ feel so good in there... if only we didn't have to separate." He groans against my neck again before sucking my earlobe, then biting it. I gasp in surprise and pleasure.

"Maybe one day." He slides out, and it makes me sad, there's no other word for it. It's sadness. He sits up and I turn on my back to look at him. He's so beautiful after these moments together. I take my hand to his bare and beautiful torso and caress the smooth but solid skin. It's definitely different to feel him without the callus. His eyes meet mine and there's some warmth in there, but so fleeting as he seems to worry once more. I can't seem to figure out what worries him so damn much.

"It's good to feel you with new hands." I say with a smile and he smiles back. For a second I think his hand will touch my face, but he lowers it to my shoulder and caresses it softly.

"If only we could stay longer, you could run your hands all over my body and discover it again." Damn...

"If you say those things I won't leave this bed, Solas." He chuckles.

"Our duty must come first. As much as I would love to stay in this bed and bring you to climax over and over, it will have to wait." He holds my hand and squeezes it lightly, then removes it from his belly and moves to stand. I want to stop him, make him lie down again and climb him, but he's right. Maybe I could finish things early. Maybe we can do it again later.

"Later?"

"Later." He says with a smile as he gets inside his pants.

 

When I'm ready I leave his cabin and go straight for the tavern, and as soon as I see the door I remember that I wanted to talk to that Krem person about the mercenaries. I hope he's still there. I ask Flissa if she's seen someone with that name in here and she points me to a table where a small man in armor is sitting alone. I walk over and greet him. "Eranen Lavellan, I'm with the Inquisition. I was told you were sent to offer the services of an... Iron Bull?"

"That's correct!" He's so cheerful, it takes me aback. I've never heard good things about mercenaries, only that they're aggressive, crass, disrespectful and full of themselves. This man is nothing like that. "Our leader is the Iron Bull, he's one of those big horned qunari, but he's a good one. I'm sure your Inquisition will want to hire us."

"I was told to meet with him soon, but I have to be somewhere else first. Do you think you'll stay in the Storm Coast for long?"

"Hard to say. But since you're interested, I'll tell the Chief. If anything happens we can always send a message here. Right?"

"Right. Mind if I have breakfast with you? So you tell me more about your band?"

"Oh of course, it'll be my pleasure." Definitely not that kind of mercenary.

I get breakfast with Flissa and sit at the table with Krem. He answers my quests about his people and it definitely intrigues me to know more. I'm looking forward to meeting with them.

 

As I finish eating, I go take care of the other stuff I have planned for the day. First: armor. Harritt is not happy with my request. "How do you expect to be protected with that sort of thing? To move around?" is what he asks me as soon as I tell him I want a robe. "Mages wear robes and are usually fine, why should be a problem to me?" is my retort. "Mages got magic and they don't go close quarters." is what he throws back at me. "Solas keeps a barrier on me at all times." is what I give him. It goes like that for a while until I take a deep breath. "Look, Harritt, I understand your point. It's a solid one. But believe me, it's not working for me to wear normal armor. Get me an armored robe and tall boots, that should be fine."

"They'll have my head if I outfit the Herald of Andraste with it."

"The Herald of Andraste _won't_ wear anything else. It's either that or I won't wear any armor." He sighs defeated. "Send them my way if they complain. Oh, and I need gloves, with fingers."

"Will do... check back tomorrow."

"Sure thing. Thank you, Harritt." He shakes his head, clearly annoyed, but I have more things to do and this is one is done. Next: elves. I need to find Emma so I can have the elves meet up again later.

 

I find her running about one of the streets with a bundle of linen, and she's surprised to see me. "Oh, Eranen! It's good to see you well!"

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. It's just you weren't home yesterday. You never got back from ser Solas' home so I thought you were injured." Oh. People saw it? Of course they saw it.

"Oh that, no, I'm fine." She raises an eyebrow at me. Do I want them to know? I suppose they'll eventually know. "We're good friends. We sleep together sometimes." Her eyes go wide, then she coughs, I assume she choked. After a couple of quick blinks to clear the tears she takes a deep breath. Quite the reaction.

"I see. Well, that's good. Having friends is good. That kind of friends is good too." She sighs and clears her throat. I'm confused. "What can I help you with?"

"Right. I need you to gather the others back at my cabin later tonight as before. I want to know how things went while I was away."

"Sure. Will do." She's still weird, I wonder what's wrong.

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing serious, no. I mean, well, it's better to talk tonight. Don't want people to hear, right?"

"Right. I'll try not to be injured this time and be there on time." I say with a smile and she gives me a small uneasy chuckle. What happened? Or was it what I said about Solas? Emma excuses herself and I'm left thinking. Does she have any interest in Solas? Could that be it? Or maybe she knows someone who is? Somehow that doesn't make me feel good. It shouldn't bother me, we're just enjoying each other and he heals me. But would I mind if... what if... damn it. I can't even think about this possibility. Thinking about Solas with anyone else bothers me. It shouldn't. Oh Creators... he warned me. Taking a deep breath, I look towards my next destination and try to clear my head. Varric.

 

I find the man sitting around the campfire as usual. Wouldn't the tavern be more comfortable? He looks up at me and smiles. Always the gentle man. "Hey Silver, come join me for a story?"

"Actually, yes."

"Oh? I wasn't really expecting you to say yes." He pokes the fire and it licks the wood around it.

"I know it's an uncomfortable topic for you, so I wanted to wait until we were back to ask."

"If it's about the Seeker then not even being here will help that."

"No, no. It's nothing to do with Cassandra. Although I was wondering if you know why she's so annoyed about me and Solas." He raises his eyebrows in surprise. What am I missing here?

"Well, Silver, she's a faithful, and let's just say she doesn't think what you're doing is right."

"What am I doing?"

"Really? You don't know?"

"Solas and I have an agreement, he doesn't have anyone, I don't have anyone, I don't see the harm in it. He already does it do heal me."

"That's the thing. You see, that mark put you in quite the awkward situation, and he alone can heal you. She's still trying to wrap her mind around the Herald of Andraste needing sex to heal. Then you one day decide to just add to her poor and too-damn-serious heart and 'start frolicking with the apostate on a whim'" he mocks her accent in his last words and I'm the surprised one. "Her words, not mine." He adds. I can see that.

"Why she even _cares_?"

"I think she might just believe you're sent by Andraste. You know the story, right? Do Dalish tell about Andraste?"

"Not really. Only that we helped her and then her followers decided it was nice to turn on us." He winces.

"Yeah... that went bad. But you can't really blame _her_ for their actions."

"I don't. But what does it have to do with anything?"

"Right. So Andraste is the Bride of the Maker if you believe such things, He chose Her because She was good, Her heart was pure and all those things Chantry sisters love to tell about Her. If She chose you, then it should mean you either are those things or that you _should_ act like that in her favour. See where I'm going?"

"She thinks I'm disrespecting Andraste?" He nods sheepishly. "Nugshit." He laughs and shrugs.

"That's the Seeker, always getting her nose in other people's business. Seeker of Truth she says, Master Gossip I say." I laugh.

"Well, she'll just have to get used to it. Now... the thing I want to talk to you about is red lyrium." He grumbles something I can't understand, but for his expression it's likely a curse. "What do you know about it? You seem to know a lot."

"Not as much as I wish I knew so I could be rid of it, but more than I wish I knew at all." He sighs. "It was during the expedition with Hawke... if I knew what we'd find there I wouldn't go."

He tells me about it, and it's awful. The things that happened to his brother, then how it made the leader of the Templars mad, well, more than she already was... To think that crystal is in many open spaces worry me. "If a single shard did that to your brother... what could those huge rocks do to us?"

"I don't want to know, Silver... I just... I just wish it was gone." He sighs. "That thing is evil."

"I'll find a way to be rid of it, Varric. I promise."

"Thanks. Until then I'll be content to destroy those we find."

"It'll be my pleasure to break them." I decide to stay a bit longer and listen to me tell something fun about his time with Hawke. It's a beautiful what they have.

 

It's after noon when I leave Varric's side, and I head back to the tavern for lunch. I don't really know what I'm going to do until it's time to meet with the servants. I could go train but I don't really want to. Being away closing rifts, fighting bandits and all those rebels, Templars or mages was tiring enough for me just want to stay in bed and relax. Or having Solas there to make me relax in a way just he knows how. I'm ready to accept it, I'm addicted. I can't have enough of him. If only I knew I can really trust him.

His reaction to my experience with the Commander was expected, but disappointing. I hoped to find more about him, but he was simply the calm and sure-of-himself Solas that he always is. He expected them to try it, and it just makes sense he would. He didn't seem bothered by me having such an intimate experiment with another man. It's unsurprising, considering that we're not in a relationship, he doesn't love me, but still... I wish he had reacted differently. That he hadn't been so... cold about it. It seems I won't be getting answers to his personality by trying to make him jealous... his temper seems to be unaffectable. Unless... he doesn't like the Dalish... I _could_ get on his nerves with that. But not even I agree with the things they do that he hates... I couldn't defend them. I suppose I'll just have to be more attentive, and have him trust me. If I can help him, if I can prove he can count on me, that I don't need him just for healing and pleasure... he might trust me then.

It surprised me when he said he would be with me even after the Inquisition, that he wouldn't let me to chance with this mark. I guess he likes me enough to keep me around. That's a good place to start.

 

Not really able to think about anything I should do, I go back to my cabin to check my stuff and bathe. Solas' spell is nice, but water is comfortable, and I could have some now. There's just this nagging feeling in my chest I can't place and I think some comfort will help me with it. I'll need water, though. And I have no clue where I can get some to fill that bathtub. So I end up searching for Emma again, and I find her near the quartermaster. I still can't accept Threnn's attitude towards elves. I'll never accept any of those people who think like her. The Hero of Ferelden was an alienage elf, and that quartermaster expects all elves to just bow and do the cleaning without thinking. Cleaning is a necessary thing, it's a fair job, but it's not fair to treat the servants as less. I wonder how these people would get anything done without the elven servants to do what they refuse to do themselves.

I wave Emma over before I lose my temper just thinking about those humans and she seems confused to have me call for her once more. I ask her to show me where to find water for the tub, but she refuses and tells me it's her job and she'll do it. As much as I insist she fights back that it's _her_ job and I should let her work. Well... it seems I still have to get used to having people do things for me. I finally accept her help and go back to the cabin to sort things and separate the clothes I'll wear next.

As soon as I get inside I'm surprised to find flowers on the table. Weird. There wasn't any flower last time I've been in Haven. Who could've put them here? I decide to focus on my stuff and get working on it. It's not long before Emma comes along with Faron bringing buckets of water. I wish I could've done that myself. "Thank you, Emma, Faron. I wanted to do it myself, but Emma refused to tell me where to get the water."

"You're the Herald, this is our job." Faron says and I sigh.

"I know... I don't want to get in the way or stop you from doing your job, I just don't like this... not doing my own stuff is too new for me."

"How... how's life in a clan?" Faron asks and it surprises me.

"It's... free. We each have our roles but we take care of our own things, we don't burden others with them."

"You're not burdening us, Eranen." Emma says. "This is, well, our role here."

"Yes... still..." I take a deep breath. "Anyway, thank you for bringing me water, I'll take my bath and you can all come talk to me later."

"Um..." Emma is uneasy again. "I should stay to prepare your bath."

"No. I can do at least this myself. I don't have anything else to do, I'm not gonna sit and wait for you to do it for me."

"But-"

"If I were busy I'd accept your help, I'm not. Go, go... can't bathe with you two here."

"Let's go, Emma." Faron says and she looks at him before sighing and nodding to me.

They excuse themselves and I turn my attention to the four buckets. Three go in the tub, one I'll use to heat on the pan by the hearth... that should work.

 

Soaking in warm water really is comforting, but it doesn't help with that weird feeling in my chest. I don't know what it is so I don't know how to fix it. I can't ask for help with something I can't even explain either. Oh well... I just hope it's not something bad.

When I'm done I wear some simple clothes and sit on the bed, with no clue of what to do. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. The fresh smell from the bathtub is something I don't want to part with for now. I would dispose of the water but it's not really dirty, I was clean thanks to Solas' spell after our moment together. And thinking about it makes me want him, again. Damn. I lie down, watching the wooden tall roof and just can't help it. My hand wanders to my belly, then under the waistband. Soon I'm touching myself.

Solas taught me how to do it, but nothing compares to his touch. The pleasure is nothing like the one he gives me. And I miss him inside. This is a problem... could it... could the reason I can't even remember what I was going to do be this... need? I manage to climax, eventually, but it's nothing like when it's with him. I decide to read one of those books about the Chantry; might as well understand what my enemies are telling people.

 

Knocks on the door relieve me from the dull and annoying book and I couldn't be happier to answer. I see the group of elves I wanted to meet with, and a new face. A tattooed face. What's a Dalish doing here? I invite them inside and get them seated -this time I do have chairs for them- and sit on the bed. "So... a new face." The young girl perks up. "Are you Dalish?"

"I was, Herald. I mean, Eranen." Good, they told her.

"What's your name?"

"Ithelana." Hm. With that name and Andruil's vallaslin shouldn't she be one of Leliana's scouts?

"Are you a servant?" She nods. "Why did you leave your clan?"

"I wanted to help the Inquisition."

"What clan were you in?"

"Ghilain." Hm. I haven't heard much about them.

"You wear Andruil's vallaslin, why aren't you with the scouts?"

"The quartermaster thought I'd fit better with the servants."

"And you accepted it?" Shocking.

"I thought it was a good a place as any to start. And it seems I wasn't wrong since I'm talking to the Herald of Andraste. Right?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure that was Threnn's plans for you." It's doesn't make sense that a Dalish would accept being a servant, though. Could she be lying? A spy? "There's one simple rule: you keep your eyes and ears on everything and everyone and report whatever is wrong to me."

"Don't you trust the Inquisition?"

"How long have you been here?"

"A week."

"In my experience that is more than enough time to realize, even from direct and violent actions, that some people in here don't like elves."

"Well, there have been a few..."

"I want to hear about it all soon. Now I want to know if you'll stand for the elves."

"Of course. I'm Dalish, I wouldn't have it any other way. I came to the Inquisition to make sure they knew the elves helped." I'm not that sure they care. Or will remember.

"Good. Now... what happened while I was away?"

They tell me there were all kind of harassment, from insults to spitting and an attempt of violence. Violence of the worst kind. To think those Templars who think so highly of themselves would try to rape someone... it pisses me off. I'll talk to the Commander tomorrow first thing in the morning. This can't stand. There have been some nobles who got too happy and suffered from wandering hands, that also can't stand. Thankfully nobody got hurt, but I see it isn't getting any better from last time.

"Ithelana, can you fight?" She nods. "I want you to protect the others if you see something happening that shouldn't. If anybody complains, tell them to come to me." I hope I can trust her to do at least this much. I'm afraid next time I come to Haven some of these elves will be hurt or worse.

"I can't carry weapons as a servant."

"You should be able to hide a knife, shouldn't you?"

"Well... yes..."

"Then you do it. Actually, you all should carry knives. I don't want anybody taking advantage of any of you. If they try to hurt you, stab them and run to a guard."

"Eranen... that'll just get us fired." Nehna says.

"No it won't. They shouldn't be able to know you carry knives, and if it for some violent reason they find out, they can come complain to me. If it come to the point you _need_ to use a knife on anybody then this organization will be needing some serious management. And if they don't hear, I'll be out. I won't be part of that sort of organization. They need me, so they'll listen." They all look at me with surprised faces.

"I... suppose that would work." Faron says.

"It will. Now... anyone knows how those flowers came to be there?" They all turn to look at the snowdrops on the center of the table in a small cup. All but one shake their head. Emma.

"I uh... an errand boy told me to give it to you. I put in the cup so it wouldn't wilt. Does... does it bother you?"

"No. I just thought it weird. Did the errand boy tell you who sent them?"

"No. No note either."

"Hm. Well, tell that errand boy to come talk to me tomorrow afternoon, will you?" She nods. "Good. Anyone want to say anything?" They shake their heads. "Then goodnight, and watch out."

They leave and since I'm not hungry I just decide to call it a night and sleep. I wanted to meet with Solas but I think maybe I should give us some distance. This addiction is dangerous... maybe if I don't indulge it'll get better.

 

The problem is that it doesn't work. I can't fall asleep. That nagging feeling is back and no matter which position I choose it doesn't get better. I hope he's back because I think I need that damn hot apostate.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Feel free to leave comments! :)  
> 


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